Mrs. Deborah Booth...Youth Pastor's Wife

Husband’s Position- Youth Pastor
How long have you been married?   9 years
How many children do you have? 5 How old are they? 7,6,5, 3, 11months
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? We met in Bible College
2. When did you get saved? July, '97
3. Can you share your testimony? I was raised in a pastor's home from the time I was 10 and was a deacon's kid before that, so was always in church. I remember asking questions about being saved around the age of 5. Then I remember being baptized. I know I must have prayed at some point otherwise I wouldn't have been baptized, but I don't remember it. I went off of that for a long time and really just tried to avoid testimony conversations. If I was asked I just said I was saved when I was 5. At 16 though, I couldn't take it anymore. On a Saturday night I couldn't sleep. I finally said, "Okay God, if you let me sleep, I'll talk to my mom in the morning." I went to sleep and got up the next morning ready to start the day of getting ready for church and all that. But God wouldn't leave me alone ;) So I went in and told my mom I needed to get saved. We knelt in her room and I prayed and accepted Christ. :)
4. How long have you been in the ministry? Officially on staff since January, '10
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? I struggled with it for a long time. Being raised in the ministry I saw all the ups and downs so it wasn't something I was jumping at the chance to do. My parents were great about keeping a good attitude towards ministry and not sharing the negative things with us or talking about them when we were around, but as a kid you can still read your parents and see them struggling. I did surrender at camp though one year to do whatever God wanted and to serve in whatever ministry he wanted.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? He was in charge of music and things like that before we were married, but actual staff position I was 29.
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I didn't feel ready at all, but it wasn't because of my age. We had been working at a church teaching 3-5 yr olds and he was doing the music program. We did do some activities with the teens, but that was it. We were the 'fun' house - none of the teaching or other  responsibility. Going from that to staff, I didn't feel like we were ready or had 'proved' ourselves yet!
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? At this point, I do struggle with that. It was never an issue when it was just normal church functions to be at - we were (and still are) always there. Now with having the extra teen activities (like youth rallys) I do struggle with not being able to go to everything.  There have been times my husband has felt like it would be too long of a day for the kids to go so he has asked me to stay home. I want to be there for them - and feel like I should be, but I know my family is my first ministry as well as following my husband so I do struggle with that. Still trying to find that balance in everything.
 9. What are some ways you include and involved your children in the ministry?
 a. Baby…They always go and usually get passed around to everyone that wants a turn to hold them - and get spoiled haha! 
b. Toddler…We have them help set things up, I let them cook/bake with me if we're making snacks for teen activites, they help clean up - basically they do everything we do. We find jobs they can handle - putting plates/napkins out, picking up trash etc.  
c. School age…Same as above for toddler. They are involoved as much as their maturity allows. We had an activity today and my oldest was in charge of taking pictures during games... and he did a pretty good job! lol
10. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you try to make it fun for them? Sometimes, yes, I do worry about that. I've seen it a lot. Right now they think it's fun since there is a lot of 'playing' since we're working with teens. But we still try to make time at least one day a week that is family day and we take them to the park, or something that is just for them. Since our oldest 4 are boys wrestling with daddy is their favorite thing to do. We try to make sure they get that time. I also try to be careful to say we "get to go....." instead of we "have to go...." I don't (well typically haha!) feel like going to church is something I have to do, but that's usually how people say it. So I try to make it (or whatever activity is going on) sound even more positive by saying we 'get' to do whatever.
11. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? As much as possible, keep the negative attitudes, comments etc that you feel towards ministry and people out of ear shot of your kids. We all struggle with being discouraged or frustrated with people/situations at times and need that time to talk it out. Talk it out, but not in front of your kids. I have seen how negatively it affects them and how much more they have to work through - or more likely it is that they walk away from church alltogether when they hear the negative. It has made me even more thankful that my parents tried to be careful around me and my siblings.
 12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? I would be a more 'naturally submissive' person - to an extent! haha! I would much rather someone tell me what to do than have to be in charge myself, but at the same time I sometimes don't want someone telling me what to do, so it's harder to follow. Usually I am okay with following him, but there have been times I have really struggled following some decisions he's made.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Let him talk and try to remind him of the positive things God is doing/has done.
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? So far we haven't had much of this. He is the fun, goofy guy everyone likes to be around :)
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? Not so well... I usually go cry ;)
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? Not as regularly as I would like. We have done "at home dates" and put the kids to bed then eat dinner together, but it's been awhile. And going out is hard to do when you have 5 kids and no family close.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? To expect the unexpected and just go with the flow. I am pretty laid back and easy going, but I still like to plan out my day/week. I have to process things out mentally if we have big activites coming up so when something comes up and changes my 'plans' I can start to feel overwhelmed. I have to learn to just let things go sometimes. 18.  What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? So far we haven't had to deal with this. Most of the women we're around are 'older' and think of/treat him like their son or grandson!
19. How do you guard your husband from the “crushes” of teen girls? There have been a few girls he will come tell me, "they won't leave me alone!" I'll tell him that's because they like him and he says they don't because he's married.... So I have explained to him how girls think and how they take any kind of male attention. He still doesn't understand how girls think, but we can talk about it. ;)Thankfully the girls haven't been from our church and have just come for different activities so it isn't something we have dealt with often. He is careful not to be alone in a room with girls and things like that though.
20. And how do you guard yourself from the crushes of teen boys? Not sure this would be an issue, but I am careful about talking with just them one on one or being in a room alone and things like that.
21. How do you deal with the parents that are always on their child’s side? So far, Praise GOD!, we haven't really had to deal with this. The issues that have come up, the parents have been the one to call and ask my husband to come talk to their kids.
22. How do you deal with the parent that think it is the youth pastor’s job to “raise” their children and blame them when their teen does wrong? We haven't had this yet, either.
23. How do you establish a good youth leader/parent relationship? I think we are still working on this. We try to talk to the parents as much as we can and let them know about what's going on. We have great parents so far and they all just seem excited about their kids coming and participating in things.
24. How do you deal with “clingy” teenagers? (Ya know the ones who are always following you).  Try to be patient and listen as much I can.
25. How do you encourage/help those teens whose parents are not saved and do not attend church? Just try to remind them to do what God wants and honor their parents.
26. How do you feel about parents grounding their kids from teen activities? Haven't dealt with this yet from our teens. Really though, I'm on the fence about this issue. If there is going to be preaching I think they should go - that's what they obviously need. But I can see how the activities that usually go along with that can make a parent want to keep the home from the 'fun'.
27. In what ways do you deal with the “drama” of your ministry? The hard things like runaways, drugs, partying, drinking or teen pregnancies? My husband is quick to confront them and talk to them about whatever is going on. What we have dealt with so far has been very mild.
28. How do you encourage unity within your youth group? This is a big deal to my husband. He tells them a lot that their best friends should be at church. We have lots of activities (at least once a month and more during summer) so they are doing things together. It has worked well so far :)
29. What is the one thing you would like to get across to the people of your church regarding the youth? Hmmm this isn't really something I've ever thought about. Our church seems to have a great relationship overall. There doesn't seem to be any negative feelings or attitudes toward our youth.
30. What is the most DIScouraging thing someone can say to you regarding the youth? I really haven't dealt with this either. Most people have been very encouraging.
31. What do you do with your young children during activities? Bring them? Stay home? Do you have faithful ladies in the church who are willing to help you by watching them? I have already mentioned this, but usually we take them. There have been times I have stayed home, but that isn't often. We have ladies that are willing to watch them, but with having 5 (and 4 of them being boys lol) we hate to ask and we both feel strongly that it isn't someone else's responsibility to take care of our kids. So we are careful about how often we ask someone to watch them.
32. What is the most encouraging thing that other ladies in the church can do for you? Letting me know they are praying for me or appreciate me is very encouraging - whether it's by talking, a note or whatever it's a blessing.
33. What is the most encouraging thing your pastor’s wife can do for you or say to you? Letting me know she appreciates the work I've put in or what I'm doing. Talking to me about what's going on.
34. Most Discouraging? Being negative about decisions that have been made regarding family or ministry. It's isn't always easy to find that line.
35. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? No
36. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Not usually. Typically or 'down' times are opposite so if I'm struggling he will encourage me.
 37. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? PRAY! Remind myself that none of what I'm doing is for me... and soon it will all pass. lol
38. What is your favorite Scripture? Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ, the same yesterday and today and forever. (I don't enjoy change and living in 'chaos' so I love this reminder that I always have a 'constant')
39. Do you have a favorite song? For my Good and For His Glory
40. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? Talking to people. I am not a people person so it's very hard for me to go up and talk to people and start conversations - even if it's someone I know.
41. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? Yes, partly because I'm not a people person and very private, but also because it's easy to start talking about 'negative' things with the church when you're together and that's not a good thing.
42. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or do you feel you must be the perfect, happy staff wife? Ha! I don't think I can pull off the perfect, happy staff wife lol! I try not to show when I'm discouraged. Apparently though my face is very expressive and I have had people think I'm upset when I'm not so, not sure I can hide it if I really am!
43. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? Not that I can think of
44. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? Yes, I have a couple I can talk to. I don't usually go to them for that, but when we do get together and something comes up I know I can share with them. And I do talk to my mom when something is really bothering me that I couldn't share with someone else. Since she is in the ministry I guess she counts ;)
 45. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I enjoy making food for special dinners or for the teens when we have activites. I have recently started "girl time" with our teen girls - it's basically like a ladies meeting. We meet once a month and have a devotion time. I do not enjoy speaking like that, but I have been enjoying it!
46. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? To put God and His will first before anything else.
47. In all of your busyness, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? To be completely honest, this is one area I REALLY struggle with. I do better though if I do it in the morning. If I tell myself I'll do it later in the day I never do.
48. Other then the Bible, do you have any other books that have helped you along the way? Lies Women Believe, And the Truth That Sets Them Free is a GREAT book!

49. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? That God really does take care of His children. I saw it growing up - how God would provide when we had a need, but it's totally different when you're the 'grown up' and have to rely on God to meet those needs. It has been amazing to see God provide for us when we didn't see how it would be possible.

Day 20...Friend Day!

Today I am thankful for the way the Lord blessed our Friend Day! We had 85 in service...35 first time visitors :)

Day 19...Prayer!

Day 18...My friend Debbie

This is me and Debbie (back when we both drank regular pop! LOL)

When my husband was the youth pastor in Osawatomie, Ks I met Debbie=) Her son was in our youth group. She was always such a blessing and encouragement to me while I was there...She was a big help with the teen girls during activities and our weekly volleyball night! We went on visitation together every week and walking EARLY every morning...I was very sad to leave her, but I am so thankful we have been able to grow closer even though we are no longer near eachother! So thankful for her...

Day 17...sleep!

Day 16...Cooking Shows!

yay for cooking shows!! good thing i don't have cable or i'd be tempted to watch the food network all day!!

Day 15...My Bible

"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path". Psalm 119:105

In this Book I can find wisdom for any situation I face in my life. How awesome is it that we can hold God's actual Word in our hands! The God who created us, who spoke this world into existence left His Word for ME! Wow. And I am just so thankful. I love that even after reading it for 22 years, I still find new things every day.

It saddens me that there are times I neglect God's Word, but I am thankful that the Holy Spirit convicts my heart and doesn't give me the fullness of joy when I do.

I have a bajillion favorite verses! So I will share a few with you =)

Isaiah 43:2

"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee."

Lamentations 3:22-23

"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."

II Samuel 22:31 & Psalm 18:30

"As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried:

he is a buckler to all those that trust in him."

I have a bunch more, but these are a few that encourage me=))

Mrs. Tina Harris...Pastor's wife of the week!

Husband’s Position- Pastor of North Central Baptist Church in Roy, Utah

How long have you been married? 10 years

How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? At this point, God has not given us any children. We would love to have them, but I believe that if God wants us to have children, He can give them to us….whether I will give birth to them or adopt them or whatever. We are not seeking out anything as far as that goes at this point, but are willing to go through any doors God opens to us concerning children.

1.      Where/How did you meet your husband? My husband and I met in college. A friend introduced us and we became good friends. After about 3 months, he finally asked me on a date and we hit it off. We were married less than a year after we first met.

2.      When did you get saved? When I was 4 yrs. Old, my Jr. church teacher taught a lesson on Zacchaeus. When I went home that afternoon, I told my dad I wanted to get saved. He took his Bible and led me to the Lord.

3.      Can you share your testimony? When I was 14 yrs. Old, I surrendered to do whatever the Lord wanted me to do – except be a missionary. I was afraid God would send me to Africa and I didn’t want to go there. When I was 16, during a missions conference, I surrendered to do whatever the Lord wanted me to do, even if it was Africa. When I was dating my husband, he felt God leading him to start a church in Utah. When he asked if I would be willing to do that, I could easily say “yes”, because I had already surrendered to do “anything”!

4.      How long have you been in the ministry? 4 years

5.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? As I stated earlier, I was afraid if I surrendered to God, He would send me to the jungles of Africa with snakes and bugs….eeekk. After 2 years, I finally submitted to ANYTHING.

6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? 30

7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I don’t know what you consider “young”. I like to think I am still “young”. When my husband first told me that God wanted him to start a church, I was 23 and I struggled with it during that time. I had a wonderful pastor’s wife when I was growing up and I felt that I would never be able to measure up to her. After much prayer, God showed me that He didn’t need me to be “my pastor’s wife”, He just needed me to be the best pastor’s wife that I could be.  

8.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Don’t ever complain about the ministry in front of them. Make them part of the ministry with you and make sure that they know that they come before your ministry.

9.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? I am not naturally submissive. I like to have everything planned out and have all the answers before I take my first step. It’s definitely hard to be that way in the ministry. I have to constantly tell myself that I don’t need all the answers, I just need to follow. Easier said than done, sometimes.

10.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? God has given me a wonderful husband who very rarely gets discouraged. When he does, I remind him that God is in control and we don’t have to have all the answers, we just have to follow His leading.

11.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Well, I beat them up of course….just kidding. It is always hard when someone is criticizing your husband. I try to give it to the Lord.

12.  How do you deal with personal criticisms? First, I get mad…..then I pray about it. It’s so hard to be pleasant and act like everything is ok when you know someone is talking badly about you. Over the years, I’ve use the “kill ‘em with kindness” method. If I have bad feelings toward someone or I know they do toward me, I go out of my way to do things for them…. Make them cookies, buy them a small gift. As I do that, God changes my heart toward them. Not an easy thing to do, but it works.

13.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? Since my husband and I don’t have children, we get to do a lot of things together. Mondays is our day off, so we are usually together then, but we don’t have a specific time set aside for that at this point. It will change after we have kids.

14.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? I think the biggest thing I’ve learned is that I have to share my husband. He will get calls in the middle of the night. Our plans will be cancelled from time to time. “People” are the ministry and you have to have a genuine love for people.

15.   What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? As of yet, we haven’t had any of “those” woman to deal with. My husband is great about protecting himself and his testimony. He has a window in his office with blinds on it that he opens when he is meeting with a woman and he never meets with a woman if I am not at the church. We also openly show our people that we are “in love” and there is not room for anyone else in our marriage.

16.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? Yes

17.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? I don’t because he helps to keep me level headed. He seldom gets discouraged and always helps to make my burdens lighter.

18.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? I read in the Psalms every day. I also listen to good music often.

19.  What is your favorite Scripture? Ps 32:8  “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” I don’t have to have all the answers because God has promised to guide me if I keep my eyes on Him.

20.  Do you have a favorite song? “On the other side of the boat”. “On the other side of the boat, just a few feet away. The Lord filled their nets and gave them victory that day. So when you get discouraged, don’t you give up hope. For your victory may be just a few feet away on the other side of the boat.”

21.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? At this point, it is the busyness. I sometimes feel like I do everything. Especially when it comes to the nursery.

22.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I do have ladies in the church that are my friends….but of course, there is no one that I can share everything with.

23.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I try not to show when I am “down”, but I am by no means “perfect”. I think our ladies realize that I, too, am human and I sometimes struggle. I’m usually pretty good at hiding my feelings.

24.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? I recently showed my “un-perfectness” to a lady in the church. She caught me at a bad moment and I did not respond to her like I should have. I went to her and apologized.

25.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? I have pretty much always been a person that keeps things inside and works through them with prayer. I tend to be the “listening ear” and the “shoulder to cry on” for others, but there isn’t really anyone I go to when I need to “vent”. I do go to my Pastor’s wife for advice.

26.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Pitch in and help. There have been times when I’m in the nursery for the 16^th service in a row and one of my ladies will come in and tell me to go out to church and they will watch the nursery. That is such a blessing to me.

27.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? My favorite thing is probably choir and special music.

28.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? We have a ladies meeting once a month.

29.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? We give out “opportunities to serve” slips once a year with all the ways people can get involved in the church. When we need a SS teacher or a meal cooked for someone, we can look through those slips to see what people would like to do that and then we can ask them to do something they “want” to do.

30.  What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? A servant’s heart

31.  In all of your busyness, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? I always do my devotions after my shower in the morning. It is part of my “getting ready time”.

32.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? People, people, people….you have to care for and have a genuine love for people.

33.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? A lady who is spiritual, friendly, willing to do anything that is needed of her, a helpmeet to her husband, and someone you can go to for advice.

Day 14...My teeny kitchen & dining room =)

this is it! haha...i have always wanted a big huge kitchen, but i totally love my little kitchen and thankful for a place to prepare meals for my family!

and my dining room where we eat our meals together=))

Day 13..My (not so) little brother G

This is my awesome little brother Jared. AKA----> G! (this is because when Ruthie was little she could not say Jared and could just say "GG"...so he is now G.

He is awesome and I would say he is the most like me...although it would pain him to admit it! haha

He is definitely the "clown" of the family and the total mama's boy..which he would tell you! We have lots of fun memories (big bear...and NO RUTH! I will NOT tell you what it means!) We had a blast last summer when we went to Hershey Park together=) Can you say LOG RIDE!?

He is so much fun and I am so lucky to have a great little brother like him. He is at college in South Carolina and I hate that he is so far away! We skype every now and then, but he always ditches me when his girlfriend calls...can I blame him? ;)

I am totally looking forward to Thanksgiving this year when we can all be together! I can't wait for him to get married and have kids...I know he'll be a great dad, cause he sure is a great brother!=) Love you, G!

Day 12...My Big Brother Rob

Another blessing of mine is my favorite big brother, Rob! He was always the coolest...we are complete opposites! He is a perfectionist. I am not. He is genius. I am average. He actually thinks before he speaks. I speak before I think. He is studious. I am spacey. He is serious. I am, well...not! His room was always super duper clean. Mine...super dooper messy. The chores all went to him because "Robby does a complete job" while "Barbie only does half jobs". Poor Guy. It's hard doing everything right. ;)
We (or should I say I) have so many great memories. I was always the annoying little sister who tagged along to be annoying or to meet his friends ;) He always had to stick up for me, his abnoxious little sister, and I remember this one time him getting in a fight with someone about me and then yelling at me later to "stop doing stupid things". I'll always remember that. Even though I was wrong and an idiot, he still stuck up for me just cause he loved me.
We had lots of late movie nights and he used to make me ziti and bring me home leftovers from his pizza place job=) When we were little we tried to dig a hole to hell so we could send a little water down! haha....We also attempted time machines, underground hotels, and fun science projects. He is awesome and I will always look up to him. He is graduating with his law degree this spring, so I better stay on his good side...just in case I need a good lawyer some day! He has a good wife who is loves and supports him (and all of his years of school!) and is always willing to help me with my crazy kids. And an absolutely beautiful daughter Brooke (who is just a few months younger than Selah) who is as smart as her Daddy. I am blessed with a sweet little niece like her.
Famous Quote from Rob? "Why do you always look at me? Look at Barbie sometimes"...See? He was always wanting me to get attention, too=) Best Big Brother around. <3 love you, Rob!!

Day 11...My Dad

Thankful for my Dad!!!

Day 10....My mom

(photo disclaimer: my face was only this fat cause I was REALLY pregnant!!! lol)

Well, another of my favorite blessings is my mom! I probably would not be where I am today without her faithfulness to instill in me the things of the Lord. My whole life she always encouraged me to be all I could be for the Lord and that no other occupation would compare to serving Him in the ministry. I know that played a major role in my life.
We have had our ups and downs through the years, just like every other mother and daughter, but I always know that she loves me and truly wants the best for me=) She was always involved very much in our lives and made sure she asked lots of questions (and I mean LOTS) so she knew what was going on in our lives. Nothing made it past Mom..lol
I remember when I was 15 and just starting to "talk" to my now husband, she would sit in the car after church for over an hour so that I could talk to him after church as long as I wanted. She must have known somewhere in her heart that I would marry him one day, cause she didn't do that with just any boy! =)
She is a great friend and I praise the Lord for giving me to her 27 years ago. He couldn't have picked a better mom for me=) And I absolutely love that my kids totally LOVE "Dunkin Donut Gramma" (she always brings them yummy treats from there!) And they know she is always up to reading them a good book....or 10!
I love you, Mom!

Day 9..My sister Ruthie =)

One of my other favorite blesings is my beautiful little sister...and today is her birthday!! When I was little I prayed faithfully every day for a little sister...And on November 9, 1990, she was here! I was so excited!

We have always been very close and we share so many wonderful memories. We laugh. We cry. We fight.  But she is my best friend. I dont know hoe people get through life without a sister. And she is the best!

Mrs. Jennifer Kirby...Youth Pastor's Wife!

Husband’s Position-Joe is an Assistant Pastor/Youth Pastor  at Coast Hills Baptist Church in Santa Maria CA 

How long have you been married?  8 years 

How many children do you have? How old are they?  3 Kiddos-Boys 6,4; One Girl-2 (Her identical twin in Heaven) 

1. Where/How did you meet your husband?  My Pastors Daughter, Charity went to college with me and "hooked" me up with a guy shes known in her church forever. We dated long distance for 3 years (He was in Bible College in Cali; I was in Bible College in Ok) Now, my Hubby is serving back at his home church under his home Pastor...Charitys dad.  =) 
2. When did you get saved?  It was July and I was 17.  
3. Can you share your testimony?  I was a jr in high school and was invited to a teen camp  which I only went because I thought there would be cute guys there =) Traveled to Poplar Bluff Missouri to Camp Waterbrook and it completely was foreign to me. It was a Mon-Fri teen camp and on Wed the preacher preached on How to Know Youre Saved...things like a DESIRE to read your Bible, A DESIRE to be around Gods people...I knew I only went to church because I had to--I most certainly didn’t read My Bible and the Lord used that sermon to Convict me. I remember when I was a child saying the sinners prayer but there was no conviction in my heart...I went forward with an evangelists wife Mrs McGaughey  and My own PW. I knelt there and honestly don’t remember the exact words...all I knew was when I stood I KNEW I had HIM and was Saved! 

4. How long have you been in the ministry?  8 years; My hubby was already in it 2 years before we got married  while I finished Bible College 
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?  I grew up in a home where I wanted the complete opposite of what I had and was willing to do anything to get it. I knew right away that I wanted to be in ministry. I wanted that for my own family, my own kids should I have any. 
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 23 
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?  Looking back, Im so amazed at Gods grace and patience with me LOL! My hubby was already a Asst/Youth Pastor  for 2 years before I joined him...so to say I wasn’t welcomed by the teens was an understatement. And honestly, I don’t blame them a bit-I came in gungho and hotheaded and if I were in their shoes,,I would have felt the same way. I wasn’t respected not because of my age but because of my Attitude.   
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  With my first son yes.  I wanted to do and be a part of everything my husband was in and at times felt resentful of my position as Mother that kept me from doing that. After I loss our daughter Grace-the Lord showed me Motherhood is a privledge not a right..my loss showed me what my "job" really was. 

9. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you try to make it fun for them?  Yes. My husband and I constantly reevaluate...we try to spend quality time with our kids (cells off!), protect our family days, have a fun home and make sure we have their hearts.  

10. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  No-Im not a naturally submissive person...however I have so much respect for my husband its easy for me to follow him. 
11. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?  I  make sure his physical needs are met...his home is a safe haven and enforce the positive 

12. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? If a teen complains I tell them to take it up with him.. 
13. How do you deal with personal criticisms?  Im one of those people that takes it to heart...=( 
14. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?  Yes...we try to protect that time and are extremely blessed to be able to leave my kiddos with my Mother in law    
15. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?  Im extremely blessed to have a husband who LOVES what he does. 

16. How do you guard your husband from the “crushes” of teen girls?  Hubby preaches on it....its never been a issue for us tho 
17. And how do you guard yourself from the crushes of teen boys?  I stay madly in love with my hubby  =)   
18. How do you deal with the parents that are always on their child’s side?  I used to think it was my job  to convince them otherwise LOL...now I try to remember "unsolicited advice is seldom heeded" 

19. How do you deal with the parent that think it is the youth pastor’s job to “raise” their children and blame them when their teen does wrong?  My hubby builds the relationship with the dad and involves them in what way we can 

20. How do you establish a good youth leader/parent relationship?  The closer you get to the parents the less criticism and the more you build the relationship *ESP with the DAD  builds more trust and unity.  

21. How do you deal with “clingy” teenagers? (Ya know the ones who are always following you)  I was one of them LOL! I try to remember one day they wont be a teen and they WILL remember how you treated them... 
22. How do you encourage/help those teens whose parents are not saved and do not attend church?  I send them notes,  texts,  have them over...do as much as their parents will allow. I remind them the decisions they make now will affect the home they want to have later... 
23. How do you feel about parents grounding their kids from teen activities?  We want as many teens as possible to come to teen activities...every situation is different...for the church kid who only gets to go to teen activities sometimes its necessary to keep them from one to show them where their responsibility lies... 
24. In what ways do you deal with the “drama” of your ministry? The hard things like runaways, drugs, partying, drinking or teen pregnancies? Hubby always gets Pastors direction and goes from there. We recently had a Spiritual Warfare conference with Pastor Marvin Smith  and realized its not enough to say Read your Bible and pray...you have to get to the roots and deal with it...Hubby has met in homes with the teen and parents and gone thru some of his DVDs with them... 
25. How do you encourage unity within your youth group?  Were still working on that one..LOL 
26. What is the one thing you would like to get across regarding the youth?  Don’t disregard them..they are people...they are our next generation...our next church... 
27. What is the most DIScouraging thing someone can say to you regarding the youth?  They don’t count..dont matter 
28. What do you do with your young children during activities? Bring them? Stay home? Do you have faithful ladies in the church who are willing to help you by watching them?  When they were younger wed bring them with us to camps and conferences...we don’t take our kids to the activities...we want them to be excited and look forward to all the activities and not have experienced them so its old news  when they join themselves...we leave them back home with my Mom in law. 
29. What is the most encouraging thing that other ladies in the church can do for you?  CHBC Ladies are great-they really love our teens and are willing to serve them...thats always an encouragement...some make breakfast for them  (on long road trips-a parent makes breakfast burritos)  They help us bring teens in and are encouraging to our teens... 
30. What is the most encouraging thing your pastor’s wife can do for you or say to you?  Pray for me and my family and tell me...know me as a person not just a staff wife...take an interest in me 

31. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily?  We try to pray with each other before we fall asleep 
32. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?  Sometimes but I always end up sharing them. My husband is my best friend. He is my rock and can always put things into perspective for me. 
33. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Read Psalms and my journal-remind myself of past struggles and victories, listen to Good Music and find something to laugh at (One time I stayed in Hallmark for an hour and just looked at all their funny cards!) 
34. What is your favorite Scripture?  Rom 8:28 
35. Do you have a favorite song?  right now its...I can Trust Jesus 
36. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  Comparison 
37. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? My closest friends are other ministry wives (outside my church)  but I have several good friends within my church as well. 

38. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or do you feel you must be the perfect, happy staff wife?  More the happy staff wife... 
39. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  Yes...My mouth gets me into trouble...i go to them and ask forgiveness 
40. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  Yes 
41. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?  Teen Ministry  =) 
42. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children?  A Desire for them to love and serve Christ  and others from their hearts 
43. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?  During my daughters naptime while my boys are in school...but the devo book I go through (a Heart Refreshed from Glow Publications) I do at night 
44. Other then the Bible, do you have any other books that have helped you along the way?  I am a huge BOOKWORM-I love to read...Currently reading The Choice is Yours by Terrie Chappell...its excellent...off the top of my head heres 3 books that I love : It’s a Wonderful Life by Terrie Chappell, Teachers of Good Things by Francie Tayler  and Created to Be A Helpmeet by Debi Pearl... 
45. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?  A quote my hubby learned in Bible College...Its Never Completely Fixed, Its Never Completely Broken, Its Never as Good as  you Think but its Never as Bad  as you Think.