Monday, March 28, 2011

Ministry Monday! Ms. Sammie Inman "Wife of the Week!!"

Husband’s Position- Assistant Pastor Southwest Baptist Oklahoma City
How long have you been married? 29 years this April 10th
How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? We have 4 sons, Aaron 25, Daniel 23, David 21 and Caleb 19. We have 2 grandsons, Nathaniel 2 yrs. and Bradley 2 months.


1. How long have you been in the ministry? We have been full-time for 27 years.
2. What “positions” has your husband had since being in the ministry. Ted has been the youth pastor, bus pastor, children’s director, music director, Sunday school administrator, Young Married’s teacher and Assistant Pastor.
3. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? My dad was a pastor and I was resistant in high school to that life, but when I met Ted it wasn’t a difficult decision.
4. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 22.
5. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I felt very young and overwhelmed. Even more so when we went to Southwest and I was 30.
6. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? I did do less because my children were so close together, but my husband made me understand they were my first responsibility, but I have always felt I must know from the Lord what I can do and to make sure I did not use them as an excuse to not serve.
7. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby… We took them everywhere we went (Youth activities, hospital visits ect.
b. Toddler… the same
c. School age… we visited the bus route with them, sang with Ted, camps ect.
d. Teen… They helped clean the nursery, worked in Bible school, but by that time they were visiting and very involved with the youth group.
8. Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? That is always a danger, but I think the biggest thing that made a difference was making sure that Ted spent everyday off with them. He did not have outside hobbies that took him away from the family.
9. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Your first responsibility aside from the Lord is to your husband. Work on that relationship. Your second is to your children and everything else comes after that. Don’t talk about church matters and give the children a negative view of serving. Emphasis the positives. Your attitude is the biggest influence on your children.
10. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? I am my husband’s biggest cheerleader! It is a joke that every night before we go to sleep I tell him that I love him and he is my best friend. No outside relationship should be more important to you. Tuck notes in his suitcase when he travels. Take him treats at work. Be aware of his pressures and don’t put more on him with things that are trivial. Make home a place where he can relax. Make it clean and inviting. Listen to him. Be wise about giving advice. Pray for him.
11. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? That is very, very difficult. Don’t listen to it if others try to “get your ear”. It is best to vent to the Lord. This takes so much grace. This brings out the mother bear in me when it comes to my husband or children, but that is not necessarily a positive thing and can make us say things we shouldn’t. God put him as the head and the Lord will be his defender if the criticism is unwarranted. Sometimes that criticism will make him mature and make needed changes in his life. Be careful what you say. The Lord may use that criticism in his life.
12. Have you/ Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? That was very difficult when they were small. We spend everyday off together as a family and tried to get away when every possible.
13. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? It is a privilege and an honor, but also can be a challenge. One of the biggest things is the heavy responsibility that I feel to be the wife he needs. Many men have not been able to be the man God wants them to be, because of their wives.
14. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I am grateful that my husband is wise in this area, but I have always tried to watch for him and clue him in if I think someone is paying too much attention to him. We are sometimes able to see things he can’t see.
15. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? We do not daily.
16. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes, and sometimes I know I have been a discouragement to him, but that is the position God has put him in and most times the only person I need to be talking to about things. Men are fixers and I found it is helpful before I tell him of a problem to tell him that I just need him to listen and I am not looking for him to “fix” it. Sometimes I do need him to help me in a situation. Make it clear what you need. I hope that makes sense.
17. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Stay in the Word, pray, try to remember that this season of life is not forever. Allow the Lord to work.
18. What is your favorite Scripture? Isaiah 12:2 “ Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah I my strength and y song: He also is become my salvation.”
19. Do you have a favorite song? “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”
20. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I think I am strange, because I have always been content with my husband as my best friend, but I do know that can be difficult. I do have close friends that are in the ministry, but not in our church. They are a blessing to me.
21. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? I do, but I try to be very careful what I say. I think that can be very helpful as long as you are confident that they will give Godly advise. I feel very honored when people call me and try my best to listen and give advice sparingly.
22. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? It is encouraging when ladies see a need and offer to help with that need. Those needs change. Sometimes was an offer to watch the boys when I needed it or to help in the nursery so I didn’t have to work so much.
23. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? There are many things I love to do but the Lord has put me in charge of the nursery here at Southwest for the past 13 years. That is as big job and takes most of my time.
24. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? Sometimes the best I can do is read my Bible and pray in the bathtub. Like everyone else I do the best I can.
25. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? That is a hard one. First: it is an honor. Secondly: God has chosen me for this life and he knows best. That is a help when I feel so inadequate or overwhelmed. He is able to equip me for the job He has for me to do. Thirdly: I am the wife God has chosen for my husband and the mother God has chosen for my children. I need to allow God to make me what I need to be. Fourthly: Allow God to work things out in His time.

Friday, March 25, 2011

"Evidence Not Seen" Book Review!


For my fellow lovers of reading, this is one of the books that I would 100% recommend. So far in my 26 year existence, lol, no book, other than God's Word, has spoken to my heart so much as this. This story is so very amazing and encouraging!! I laughed, I cried, and I walked away so very humbled at the thought of this woman's life and in awe of God's mercy and grace.
My perspective of life was completely changed after reading this amazing testimony. Here is the description from amazon.com...
"This is the true story of a young American missionary woman courage and triump of faith in the jungles of New Guinea and her four years in a notorious Japanese prison camp. Never to see her husband again, she was forced to sign a confession to a crime she did not commit and face the executioner's sword, only to be miraculously spared."
You will never be the same after reading this!! I promise!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A Slight Bump in the Road....prayer request!

Well, yesterday I had some test results come back that I do infact have mild preeclampsia...Every time I get pregnant my blood pressure goes up, but this time it is higher than normal....yesterday and today I had a steroid shot that will help Barbara Joy's lungs develop in case they have to induce early. Right now it is mild and pretty well under control, but if it gets really really bad they will want to induce around 32 weeks and if it stays pretty mild or gets a little worse they will hold of until 37 weeks. I am 27 weeks now, so please pray that everything will remail under control and that I will be able to carry her to term.
I have never been a big worrier, but I'm not going to lie, this does scare me a bit. I am so thankful that I have A God who knows what he is doing and is in control no matter the outcome.
So, now I have to go to the Dr every week and beginning at 32 weeks I will have weekly non-stress tests. I am so thankful that I have a good doctor who is truly concerned and taking all of the precautions so that baby and I will be fine=) Please pray, friends....thank you.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

**New "Ministry Monday" Blog series...suggestions please!

Next week I will be starting a new blog feature called "Ministry Monday: An Interview with the Preacher's (or whatever ministry they are in) Wife" or something along those lines. Each week I will have an interview with a wife of someone in the ministry...this includes Pastor's wives, Youth Pastor's wives, Music Director's wives, etc.
.Anyways, I would like to know from you all....what kind of questions would you ask if you were the one interviewing? Is there anything you would like to know? I'd like some suggestions please!! Thanks! I'd love to hear your comments on this!

***Oh, and if you are a wife of someone in the ministry and would like to be "interviewed", let me know!! =)) Send me a message at barbielynnsmith@yahoo.com

Saturday, March 19, 2011

"Lest Though Forget"...On raising Children...

Last night was the first night of our marriage seminar. It was lovely=) We got to get all dressed up, drop the kids off, and enjoy a fun, relaxing night together. It was a fantastic. Bro. Dave Hardy and his wife Grace are the speakers this year, and last night we heard out first lesson on the home.
He mostly talked about marriage, of course, and it was great, but the thing that stuck out most to me was a comment he said that his wife has said to him. It was something along the lines of "I think mothers forget in raising chilren that their main goal is to produce children that are choice servants for Christ", and that was just so convicting to me! He was saying that for some reasons these days we are just content if we can have our children grow up to just finish school, and stay off drugs...and how true is that!?
In the back of my mind I also have that goal, but sadly, most days that is not my absolute focus, and that was a sad realization to me. Most days I feel accomplished enough if I can just get them up, dressed and fed; homeschool, play time, rest time, fed some more, bathed....well, you know, all the things that we moms do every day, that I am just plain dropping the ball on what matters most!!
Yes, I do teach and train and discipline, but I find that I have lost the vision of not only raising well-behaved children, but raising Godly children. I do not want that. Anyone can raise a smart, well behaved child, but it takes a Godly Christian wife and mother to raise a son or daughter that is going to grow into a "choice servant" for Him!
I think many times we as Christian mothers just go through the motions. We pray before meals, we do devotions with them, we bring them to church 3 times a week, we teach them about the Bible at home, but why?? What is our main focus? Are we doing it because it is the right thing to do? Are we doing it because we want them to have a lot of knowledge so we can look good? Or are we truly focused on the fact that we only have 18 short years with them to really train them to be servants for Christ?
We can easily put on a show for others, but our children know us and watch us more that we even realize...and above and beyond all of our teaching, they are going to learn how to be a servant of Christ by watching us. Is mom reading her Bible? Is mom praying? Does mom have the joy of the Lord in her life? Does mom live what she "preaches"? Is mom a gossip? Is mom a complainer? Does mom show the love of God in her discipline? Is mom witnessing? memorizing Scripture? The list can go on and on!
But, as I heard last night, and many times before, the thing children are watching most is the way mom reacts to dad. In the Bible it talks about the Husband loving the wife as Christ loved the church. Marriage is the prime biblical example of Christ and the church. So we need to be, we MUST be, modeling that for our children. They need to see that picture to understand why we serve. I know for me, I do things for my husband because I love him, and he does the same for me. And that is what our children need....to see that we serve out of love, not duty.
So, therefore, we need to teach our children to love, I mean really love Christ. If they grow up seeing us serve the Lord out of duty, then they can easily rebel and quit serving Christ because they don't want to anymore. But, if we instill in them a genuine love for the Lord and who He is, they will want to always serve Him with their lives. It is when that true love is not there that the heart begins to wander.
A marriage is not going to fall apart when both spouses are 100% dedicated to serving each other, not out of fear or duty, but out of love.  It is when we allow that selfishness and pride into our marriages that we begin to crumble and let Satan in. It is that selfishness and pride that our children see and begin to lose the picture of Christ and the church. Each time we argue with our husbands, defy them, planting our feet and refusing to change, the picture Christ put before is gets more and more blurred for our children, and they miss out on the beauty of what it was supposed to be.
Every single moment of every single day is a time when we can be teaching our children of God's love for us. We need to be talking with our children and letting them see how much we really love Him. I have been reading in the Old Testament and I love Deuteronomy 4. I see how many times it talks about parents teaching their children about all that Christ has done for them in the past. Reminding them how God has always been there no matter what, "lest they forget".
 9"Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons;"
The mercies of the Lord are something we can never teach our children enough. We need to be telling them all of the things He has done for us in the past and in the present and all He has promised us for the future. We need to be teaching them that God is REAL! A true relationship with Christ is not something we get overnight, but something we work on every day, just like our marriage. It is knowing God and learning more and more about Him every day. It is talking to Him and listening to Him and responding when he shows you things to change. Just like with our husbands.
And I truly believe that when we as mothers have that kind of love for the Lord, our children will have no choice but to notice that and want that for themselves. They will come to Christ and draw close to Him, not because we tell them they have to, but because they want to. There will come a day when we will not be there to tell them to read their Bible or pray or that they have to go to church....will they still do it? Do we even do it?
I don't even know if all of this makes sense, but I just do not want to be resposible for missing the mark with my children. The Lord gave them to me, and like Hannah, I need to give them back to Him, and raise them to know the goodness of the Lord, so when the choice becomes theirs, they will follow in His steps....because they know nothing else, but serving Him and loving Him with al of their heart.
Deuteronomy 6
5"And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
 6And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
 7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."

Monday, March 14, 2011

Out with the old.....

My husband is a church planter....meaning, we came to a place where there was a need of an Independent Baptist KJB preaching church and started, or "planted" one. We have been here for a little over 4 years. We started in an old high school

We rented out the tiniest room ever, and had 12 our first service.

This is the room before it was set up!! SOOOO SMALL, but we were so excited!
We then moved accross the hall to a nicer, bigger room....with really orange chairs!

Then we were able to remodel that room...



About a year after we started a lady called my husband and told him they were closing their church and was wondering if we would be inerested in their building. We were so excited, but also so broke!! We had the building appraised at $125, 000...and with no money to our name figured it would never happen. The lady wanted the building to go to a good church so she "gave" us the buildng for just $15, 000!!! We were able to have our home church lend us the money and a few months later we moved in.















It has been so wonderful to have a nice building of our own, for almost 3 years now!! We have made some changes, but this week, we made my favorite change so far! We painted the auditorium and said good-bye to the wood paneling.
BEFORE:

AFTER:


 It brightens is up so much!! Don't ya think!!? We are so thankful for how the Lord has provided for our church. Next is new carpet!!

Friday, March 11, 2011

The dance...

It is 1:10am and I am sitting up thinking about my little miracle who is currently doing her little bedtime dance in my growing belly. I should be sleeping, but each night, she gives me no choice but to lay awake and dream. I wonder if she waits until everyone goes to bed since she knows I don't get much time to sit and think on her with her brother and sisters occupying my thoughts throughout the day.
I think she purposely waits until the quiet has set in and I am completely relaxed to begin her dance. She knows that with each movement I wonder more and more....Who will she look like? Will she be a girly girl like her sister? Will she finally be the "calm" one I am waiting for? What will she love to do? What will she grow up to be? ....My mind cannot help but wonder about this baby that the Lord has entrusted me with.
I have been here a few times before. Each time I discover that there is a new life forming in me, the dreams begin!
This is my 6th time on the beautiful journey of pregnancy. Sadly, for two of my babies, the dreams were cut too short. Before I knew if they were boys or girls; Before I could enjoy their dance... But God is good. God is always good....And even though many, many times I wonder who it is that is missing and what my other two would have become, I find myself wrapped in the loving arms of my Comforter who always has a reason and a purpose for the trials He brings into our paths.
So here, 25 weeks into my journey, I thank Him and praise Him for this special time I can have with my beautiful baby girl. This time when I can keep her close. This time when she and I are one. Each night I can sit and dream of what she will be. I can pray that she will always folllow the steps of the Savior, I can pray that I will train her in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Soon she will be here in my arms....and someday, before I even realize it happened, she will be grown and gone. So tonight, I don't care how late it is.....tonight I will enjoy the dance...

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

10 Things Never to Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom...

By: Candy Kirby of thelaughingstork.com, with help from her Twitter followers and friends


1. When the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job?

2. How June Cleaver of you!

3. Oh, so you don't work?

4. Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow?

5. All day with your kids? I can't even imagine.

6. I'm jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn't have to work either.

7. What do you do all day, anyway?

8. I'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree.

9. That explains why your son is so clingy!

10. Weird. I assumed your house would be superclean.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Children.....a Blessing?

I am wondering why children are considered a "curse" these days?? I cannot seeem to understand it. I only have 3 children right now (one on the way), and the comments I hear with just 3 amaze me!
"Wow, you have your hands full" "Are these all yours?" "You're done, right!?" "You must not have any time for yourself"! "...and your pregnant! That must have been a mistake!" "Is this an "oops" baby?" "You do know how this happens, right?"....and on and on I could go. Any mother of more that one child has to hear it, I am sure.
And then, the mothers with no children are constantly being bugged about "don't you guys want kids?" or "you better hurry up before you get much older!" And if they only have one..."So, are you having any more?" or "if you wait any longer they will be too far apart in age!" Some of these poor women are trying to get pregnant and have been for years and do not need to hear it from you! Just mind your own business people!!!!!
Why does everyone feel like it is their duty to determine how many children a family should have? That is strictly between a husband, wife, and the Lord. No one else has a say in how little or how many children a family should have....and if you do have an opinion, keep you mouth closed, please, because it really does not concern you.
The Bible, or should I say God, makes it very clear that children are a blessing! An open womb is his reward! Why is it now a bad thing to have more than the average 2 kids? I think it is a shame. Especially from other Christians, particularly women, who try to make mothers feel bad for the blessings the Lord has given them. When did one of God's greatest blessings turn into a curse?
Now, I will say  that I myself when feeling overwhelmed, have thought, "no more" for myself, but then I think about how dull and boring my life would be without my 3 crazies bringing all of the laughter and joy into our lives! Yes, I would be able to have fresh highlights, manicures, pedicures, and nice clothes without the "markings of motherhood" all over them. That includes spit-up, poop, pee, food, juice.....well, pretty much, you name it, and it has been on me, haha....BUT, I would miss out on so, so much!!
"Would you do it over if you could?" Absolutely not! I would not have it any other way. I love my children more than anyone can imagne. Yes, I get overwhelmed! Yes, I am almost always tired! Yes, I would like to be able to go to the bathroom alone, just once! Yes, I would prefer not to have 20 loads of laundry a day, but I would not give up being a mommy for a zillion bucks!

~Barbie

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Crutches Anyone??

Well, Huge bummer for me....I broke the 5th metatarsal in my right foot...I was walking down our attic steps on Saturday carrying Ellie, my 1 yr old, and it was pitch black *dumb move!* and I missed the last step and landed in Selah's room ,amidst toys and books, on the side of my foot. I just love that my first broken bone decides to come when I am 24 weeks pregnant with my 4th child...note the sarcasm. It hurts and I can't take anything but tylenol...but the Lord knows and I know He will help me hobble my way through the next 6-8 weeks and give me all the strength I need to take care of the 3 bambinos in the process.
I hear that the healing process could be faster and I could possibly get a walking boot so I can put some weight in it, which would be fantabulous! My laundry room is in the basement, but I could look at that as a blessing, lol. I'll just have to have my hubs do the part down there and I can still fold and put most away.
Sweetest story though, Selah, my 5 yr old daughter, is currently sleeping on a big cushion on the floor next to me because she wanted me to be able to wake her up if I needed anything. Our bedroom is upstairs, so I opted to sleep on the couch for a few nights;) But, isn't that so precious! I am so thankful for the soft heart of my children. They have so much love and compassion for eachother and for our family that is blesses my heart. So, all in all, as annoying as the next few weeks will be, maybe this is just a good opporunity to teach my children that sometimes a family memeber needs a little extra help and we all need to work together as a team.
And let me just say, I cannot figure out crutches for the life of me! And I think the saddest part about all of this is no baths!