Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Happy 31st Birthday to my wonderful husband!! I love him so much...can't believe how old he is! :) Also on this very special day 7 years ago, I became a mommy! One of the most challenging/ rewarding jobs in the world! So thankful for my sweet Selah Elizabeth! 

Monday, August 6, 2012

The Pastor'S WIfe

The Pastor’s Wife
There is one person in our church
Who knows our Pastor’s life,
Who weeps and smiles and prays with him.
And that’s the Pastor’s Wife!
The crowds have seen him
In his strength,
When wielding God’s sharp sword,
As underneath God’s banner bold
He faced the devil’s horde.
But deep within her heart,
She knows
That scarce an hour before,
She helped him pray
That glory down,
Behind the closet door.
She’s heard him groaning –
In his soul
When bitter raged the strife,
As hand in hand she knelt
With him
For she’s the Pastor’s Wife!
You tell your tales
Of prophets brave
Who marched across the World
And changed the course of history
By burning words they hurled.
And I will tell how back of each
Some woman lived her life,
Who wept with him and smiled with him –
She was the Pastor’s Wife!

Mrs. Rena Frayer...Ministry Wife of the Week!

Husband’s Position- Sr Pastor Bible Baptist Church Norwich NY
How long have you been married? 19 1/2 yrs
How many children do you have? How old are they? 5 children-11, 10, 7, and 2 and one waiting for me in Glory.
1. Where/How did you meet your husband?
Matt and I were a blind date set up by my sister
2. When did you get saved? I
got saved Dec 31, 1999
3. Can you share your testimony?
I lived in a Pastor's home and knew all what I need to know about God in my head. I lived as a so called Christian but didn't have that personal relationship with Him until my husband preached a message on New Year’s Eve called "Are You Ready?". I knew if I didn't get it right then-it would be my last chance. God glorious saved my soul and life hasn't been the same since.
4. How long have you been in the ministry?
Matt has been a Pastor for about 12 yrs, but we have been, teen leaders and visitation pastor before all that.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?
God called my husband to be a pastor but as a child growing up I wanted to be a missionary to Mexico. Become a RN and work in an orphanage. God had another plan. At first it was hard because I know the trials my parents have been through. But being a PK is a lot different than a Pastor's wife.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? 
I think I was about 22 when we became teen leaders.
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?
I don't think you are every fully ready for leadership. The kids were pretty good. When he became Sr pastor however that was a different story. My dad was the pastor before, and he still is a member. Some of the people still call him or go to him for things, and that is a daily battle. 
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?
God didn't bless us with children until we had been married 7 1/2 yrs. So yes I did less but felt so privileged to have my kids. We had 7 pregnancies in 10 yrs. So needless to say it was a little crazy. I always want to do more, but my kids come first before church-not God.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?                           *baby-people love babies so that’s not too hard.

*toddlers-they can sing and smile
*school age/teens-  they can do so much-clean, help with projects, sing, be polite, my older  ones help watch my 2 yr old so I can play piano and sing.

10. Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them?
I do at times. We say we like to go to serve not we have to. Try to give the right attitude. Find their talent and let them use it. I have one who loves to sing, one who’s crafty, one who is a prayer warrior and Josh(2) is a lover of people.
11. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry?
Make sure everything isn't about church. Get some activities just for family. They are not perfect-don't expect them to be and don't let other make them feel that way either. Let them be kids!
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?
Oh my. Matt's word is finally but he knows my opinion sometimes too well. God is still working on me too-thank God.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?
He loves chicken so some KFC makes him smile. I make some time for him and I. Make him feel like he’s the best-because he is.
Never go a day without saying I love you and mean it and show him. Of course pray with him and for him.
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? 
Not well. I am very protective. I saw my dad go through some tough things so it’s hard. I've had to learn to break down wall and let people in. You could say I am a mama bear.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms?
It hurts but I get over it. I am not here to please people-only God. Life is too short for grudges. I have learned sometimes the best response is no response.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?
With help from my family with the kids. It doesn't happen often enough. We walk together a lot and that’s our time to talk.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?
I am not the Holy Spirit. I have to allow God to do work not me. I like things to get done on my time-lol. Take care of my family first.
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church?
We have a policy never be alone with the opposite sex. If he counsels and it’s a woman-I am there- If a woman calls and needs to talk-I talk to her, not him.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily?
We try but some days are better than others.
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?
It depends what it is. Don't want him to have more to worry about, but he'd rather that I am honest with him-as hard as it might be for me to tell him.
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? 
I love music. I like walking. Both help me so much and of course Prayer to my Lord.
22. What is your favorite Scripture?
Romans 12:1,2 -Phil 4:13, many more but these are 2.
23. Do you have a favorite song?
People Need the Lord and Jesus Paid it all. I love Hymns and Southern Gospel.
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?
Sometimes I am not satisfied with where I am. I don't have a close friend near me-she lives in GA. I feel alone many times because you cannot share certain things with people in the church.
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? 
Yes, I love them all but they are not my best friends. We have great woman and they are wonderful to me. But I don't have a buddy. Matt is my buddy.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife?
I have a hard time hiding my feeling so I am sure they see when I am discouraged, but I have been working on that more. I don't feel like I have to be perfect but I do need to set an example.
27. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? 
Oh man ....as my son would say-yes and yes-I go and am honest with them and tell them I messed up. Ask for forgiveness.
28. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?
Yes-my mom of course, and a few others.
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you?
Respect me and my husband.
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships?
Yes, we do Bible study every Friday morning, and a ladies day every year
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church?
I always seem to have the same ones but ask them to use their special talent. 
33. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children?
Love the Lord with all their heart and serve with a heart not just because they have to. Get a spouse that loves God.
34. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?
When the baby is asleep. That’s the time when it is quiet.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?
I am my husband’s wife first and a mother-then a Pastor's wife. Priority is a must.
36. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife?
Imperfect who wants to grow in Jesus? One who has a pure heart for the things of God? A down to earth lady-not stuck up. Got to love kids and people.