I am wondering why children are considered a "curse" these days?? I cannot seeem to understand it. I only have 3 children right now (one on the way), and the comments I hear with just 3 amaze me!
"Wow, you have your hands full" "Are these all yours?" "You're done, right!?" "You must not have any time for yourself"! "...and your pregnant! That must have been a mistake!" "Is this an "oops" baby?" "You do know how this happens, right?"....and on and on I could go. Any mother of more that one child has to hear it, I am sure.
And then, the mothers with no children are constantly being bugged about "don't you guys want kids?" or "you better hurry up before you get much older!" And if they only have one..."So, are you having any more?" or "if you wait any longer they will be too far apart in age!" Some of these poor women are trying to get pregnant and have been for years and do not need to hear it from you! Just mind your own business people!!!!!
Why does everyone feel like it is their duty to determine how many children a family should have? That is strictly between a husband, wife, and the Lord. No one else has a say in how little or how many children a family should have....and if you do have an opinion, keep you mouth closed, please, because it really does not concern you.
The Bible, or should I say God, makes it very clear that children are a blessing! An open womb is his reward! Why is it now a bad thing to have more than the average 2 kids? I think it is a shame. Especially from other Christians, particularly women, who try to make mothers feel bad for the blessings the Lord has given them. When did one of God's greatest blessings turn into a curse?
Now, I will say that I myself when feeling overwhelmed, have thought, "no more" for myself, but then I think about how dull and boring my life would be without my 3 crazies bringing all of the laughter and joy into our lives! Yes, I would be able to have fresh highlights, manicures, pedicures, and nice clothes without the "markings of motherhood" all over them. That includes spit-up, poop, pee, food, juice.....well, pretty much, you name it, and it has been on me, haha....BUT, I would miss out on so, so much!!
"Would you do it over if you could?" Absolutely not! I would not have it any other way. I love my children more than anyone can imagne. Yes, I get overwhelmed! Yes, I am almost always tired! Yes, I would like to be able to go to the bathroom alone, just once! Yes, I would prefer not to have 20 loads of laundry a day, but I would not give up being a mommy for a zillion bucks!
~Barbie
I agree, children are definitely a blessing. I find it refreshing reading your thoughts about it, because I have been told that I should be done because I technically have three all ready. At first, I found that a bit harsh, but then I stopped to think how hard it would be to have 4 children at one time in my house... I'm not 100% sure that we are done, I know that I really don't think now is the time for more, but I don't get to decide that!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts and I say, more power to you. If you are able to stay home, have health insurance, and a supportive husband, then why not? I have a friend pregnant with number 6 and even she says that they are not sure they are done!
For our first 11 years of marriage, we often heard, "are you pregnant yet?". It got old but I learned to handle it. It really only got annoying when it came from the same person too often.
ReplyDeleteWe dealt with the question "So, WHEN are you going to have any kids?" after we had been married 10 years and did not have any children. "You're not getting any younger, you know?" "Are you trying to be like Sarah?" A LOT of inappropriate plain old RUDE questions. I had a bad mess of blood vessels in my brain stem and getting pregnant was thought to be very dangerous UNTIL technology improved and it was determined these blood vessels, although abnormal, would most likely not burst and it would be OK if I got pregnant as long as I were watched with "hawk's eyes" by my doctor. So we tried and tried and tried. I took fertility drugs for 9 months, NO BABY. The neurosurgeon then decided he needed to operate for the 11th time. So I quit the fertility drugs and we quit "trying" so much. I had the surgery in May. Two months later i realized NO PERIOD since 2 weeks BEFORE the surgery. I talked to the neurosurgeon who came up with the idea that I might be pregnant. I told him that was HIGHLY UNLIKELY and explained what we had gone through the previous 10 n=months. He advised me to see my gyn. In the meantime, out of curiosity, I bought an EPT kit. It was POSITIVE. Then I didn't believe it so I bought a 2nd one (different brand). It too was POSITIVE. I went to see the gyn who confirmed with blood testing that I was in fact pregnant and had been since the week before the surgery. By this time, we had been married almost 14 years and I was 37. That made me high risk both for my age and for the medical issues (surgery and all the things that come after surgery, particularly the steroid drugs and the potent pain killers.) I ended up seeing my OB on schedule and a high-risk OB in-between those visits. I was HEALTHIER than I had been at any time in the previous 14 years. NO complications on my part. She was born by emergency c-section weighing 9lb3oz and being 21.5" long. She did have 3 small health problems - an ASD, a VSD, and a cataract in her left eye. The ASD and VSD closed on their own (with LOTS OF PRAYER!!!) and the cataract was surgically removed at age 3. Today she is a very healthy 13 yo girl who will be entering high school in the fall at our church school (she is ONE YEAR AHEAD in school and almost 5'11" tall). GOD BLESSED US because after she was born, I went into premature menopause at age 41 - no more babies for us. BUT I AM SO THANKFUL we have Lara.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being the one who finally sticks up for the mothers of onlies!!! I hear all the time, from people who know that we can't get pregnant, "when are you having another one?", "go on vacation without your son, that'll fix it!". These are people who KNOW we can't conceive. I like your words, JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS PEOPLE!"
ReplyDeleteThanks. :)