Mrs. Jennifer DiGiacomo- Wife of the Week

Husband’s Position- Pastor, Lifeline Baptist Church, Haverhill MA

How long have you been married? 7 1/5 years!

How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? 3 girls: 6, 4, and 23 mos. And one more on the way due Oct. 8^th. (We hopefully find out the baby’s gender on Thursday!)

1.      Where/How did you meet your husband? We met at Plymouth State College, in NH in 2001. He was friends with my college roommates. At first we didn’t get along at all, but one day he said something that made me cry. When he apologized I saw a much softer side. We became friends and a few months later started dating.

2.      When did you get saved? I was saved on July, 15, 2003.

3.      Can you share your testimony? I grew up Roman Catholic. I attended Catholic school for 7 years and was very involved in my church. When I turned 14 I refused to be Confirmed by the RCC because I didn’t agree with some of their teachings. I searched for many years for the Truth, knowing there had to be more than what I had known. In college I started dating my husband and I didn’t know it at the time, but he was saved and extremely backslidden. I attended his mom’s church with their family on a visit and was confused at what I heard, but from then on I really started to think about the Lord. I was under conviction for a year and a half before one day I met with Pastor Calvin Fuller. He showed me what the Bible said about salvation and that day I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Personal Savior!

4.      How long have you been in the ministry? Full time, 5 years.

5.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? The Lord called my husband to preach about 9 months after we were married. When he told me what God was doing in his heart and about his call to full time Christian service I was very excited! I was a very young Christian, but I kept thinking about Ruth 1:16-17 and I knew what I needed to do.

6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? 26

7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? It wasn’t difficult to be “young” on deputation, but when my husband took over the pastorate here at Lifeline there have been times when it has been difficult. When we first got here I was the youngest married woman in the church. I feel that most of the church people were very helpful and thoughtful of me, but there have been some bumps along the way.

8.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? My oldest 2 were born while my husband was still in Bible College. It was a difficult transition for me because up until that point we did everything together. It was sometimes hard for me to remember my limitations, or should I say, my girl’s limitations. But God has been good to remind me that my children are my first ministry and right now my priority is being with them whenever I can be.

9.      What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby… when they’re able, picking up after themselves, learning to play quietly, greeting visitors.

b.      Toddler… Picking up the nursery or Sunday School areas. Always making sure to be in her place and obedient, and sometimes going on Nursing Home visits or to see some shut ins.

c.       School age… going on visitation with us. Helping with administrative things whenever possible, greeting visitors, cleaning the church. (and anything else we that might need to be done.)

10.  Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? Sometimes I do. I know that the way I react to someone needing extra time from my husband, or him having to deal with an emergency, can be a HUGE statement to my girls. If they see mommy get mad when Daddy goes to help someone or to do some church related business then they will resent the ministry because it’s taking their time from their daddy. My husband tries to take Monday’s as his family day. This has helped us a lot, and given us a day to really enjoy each other’s company. Especially when there are some weeks when the girls don’t even get to eat dinner with their father. A lot of times he will take one of the girls on a visit with him or to the church to “help” with something. They love it!

11.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Minister to your children first. Don’t become so consumed with the ministry that you neglect your own little mission field.

12.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? NO! I am NOT naturally a submissive person! LOL! Here’s a secret about me… before I was saved I was big into the Women’s Rights Campaign and even marched on Washington D.C. in 2000. I was a Political Science major in college with plans to attend a law school. When the Lord saved me He had to reach WAY down! Today I am not the same person that I was in college, Praise God! I am learning every day how to be more like the wife that the Lord desires me to be. It’s easy to submit when you agree with your husband. For me the true test is when he tells me I need to do something that I don’t want to do. It’s actually been good for me to have my girls and have them listen to how I respond to my husband. When I am submitting to him properly I find that my girls obey and submit to both of us much better. I have come great distances in the area of submission since we’ve been married.

13.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? I pray for him and let him know that I am praying for him. I also praise him out loud, and brag on him to others so that he can hear it.

14.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Better than I thought I would. What helps me deal with criticism is to know that the Lord faced it, so if He faced it surely my husband, (and my whole family really), will face it as well.

15.  How do you deal with personal criticisms? I ask God if that’s really an issue. If it is, then I try to fix it with His help. If it isn’t then I TRY to let it go. Phil. 4:8 has helped me a lot!

16.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? Mondays are our family days. We really do need to have more time just the two of us though!

17.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? Honestly, to be thankful for the blessings that the Lord has given me. Because not everyone has a Godly husband at home.

18.  What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I show him affection in public and always try to make sure that his needs are met.

19.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? It is our goal to have daily prayer together. Some days are crazier than others, but we try.

20.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? There are times when I don’t share something with him and it never seems to work out well. Mostly because I am terrible at keeping something “in” without it showing up all over my face. So I have learned that it saves a lot of extra discussion if I just come out with it.

21.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Music and Bible reading.

22.  What is your favorite Scripture? Psalm 139 is my favorite.

23.  Do you have a favorite song? When Answers Aren’t Enough There is Jesus.

24.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? Time with my family all together.

25.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I do not have close friends in my church. I wish I could, because I really believe my church ladies are the most wonderful ladies in the world! But I do have wonderful sisters in Christ at our church! 

26.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I am a pretty honest, real person. If I am unhappy my husband tells me that it’s no secret! But I also make it a point to not ever be in depths of despair. Balance is important and I don’t believe that people should see leadership as frazzled or out of sorts. However, if I need prayer I will ask the ladies who I know will pray for me to please do so.

27.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? Yes I sure have! I have this fleshly side that makes comments that I don’t need to say and I made one at church one night. Two ladies heard it. The one I knew I may have offended I called right when I got home. The other lady I didn’t know I offended, but when I discovered I had, I immediately sought to make it right with her also.

28.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? I have a few pastor’s wives who I have had to the privilege to get to know over the years and I am able to chat with them whenever I need to talk.

29.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Be kind to my children, but don’t “favor” them.

30.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I have 2 ministries that I love! I teach the teen girls Sunday school class and I run our ladies ministry meetings. Both are really exciting for me!

31.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? We have 3 main ladies meetings a year, plus showers from time to time. I would love to start a weekly Bible study but so far we just don’t have enough ladies home during the day to do one.

32.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I ask them personally. I think people like to be asked. It makes them feel important and since each one of us is, I try to show each one of our ladies that I think she’s of special value too.

33.  What is the most important thing you pray to pass down to your daughters? A love for the Lord and true desire to serve Him with their whole lives.

34.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? I have to get up early and not allow myself to turn on the tv or check my email. Just sit down with Bible and spend time with the Lord.

35.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? To always be flexible! You never know what a day may bring.

36.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? A fairy tale! I think people have a lot of ideas of what a pastor’s wife should be, but I strive to be the pastor’s wife that my husband and my Lord want me to be. I could do everything that everyone else believed I should, but all of those things may not be what my husband wants from his wife. So I learn how to be a pastor’s wife by asking my pastor what he wants and praying for guidance from the Lord.