**Missionary Wife** Mrs. Kendra Barnhardt

Husband’s Position-Missionary

How long have you been married? 3 ½ years

How many children? How old are they?  1 child, Klayton-6 months

1.      What field are you and your husband going to? Norway

2.      Did you feel the same call as your husband to that specific location, or did you just feel the call to follow your husband?  When I was a junior in college, I told the Lord that I was willing to be a missionary wife or a pastor’s wife if He thought I was capable.  I didn’t even know my husband at the time.  When Joseph and I had met I was willing to follow him because I was already surrendered in that area of my life.

3.      How long have you been traveling on deputation? 3 years, technically 2 complete years together. Last year we hardly traveled because I had some complications with my pregnancy, followed by my son being hospitalized and me having surgery.

4.      What is the hardest thing about being on deputation? As a wife and mother I have the desire to “set up” my home and create a home, however that is pretty much impossible to do while on the road.

5.      What do enjoy the most about being on deputation? Seeing sights I would not be able to see otherwise and crossing paths with friends.

6.      How do you keep your children excited about being a “missionary” with constant travel and being in church all of the time? Well, I don’t know necessarily have to work on this one right now as Klayton is only six months; but I will say he has been a little traveler since he was 3 weeks old.  It is hard on him though after we have had many long travel days in a row; but I still think he does better at the traveling thing then I do sometimes! Ha!

7.      Do you feel the burden of having well behaved children at all times? Even though he is an infant I do.  We keep him with us at all times, we don’t put him in the nursery. Klayton is a very happy and content baby; but sometimes I feel people are still judging. He’s been teething and was having a particularly rough day and a lady in a church says to me, “what a fussy baby you have”.  Every time he even whimpered she would say this to me, I just felt more pressure to make sure he was “behaved” even though in my heart I knew I shouldn’t feel that way.

8.      What is the most encouraging thing that a Pastor’s wife could do or say to you regarding your children?  Let me know that they see the good behavior in my child.  Even though Klayton is an infant it thrills my heart when I am told what a good baby he is. Point out the good and if my child is acting up relate to me, don’t act as if YOUR child would never do that! Lol!

9.      Do you always have the option of a Nursery in churches or do you sometimes have to take children who are not ready yet into services? And for those churches where there is no nursery, do you wish they would make a special exception for your family while you are there?  I noted this above; but we don’t put Klayton in nursery.  This is our personal preference.

10.   What is the best thing (other than prayer) that a church can do for your family or give to your family? We have a church in Alaska that cannot support us at this time; but every birthday and holiday and sometimes just because they send us a card and we love it!  Its nice to know that we have not been forgotten, especially when we are always on the go and feel out of the loop!

11.   What are some things that churches do for you that may not be a help to you? It is nice when churches think of us and give gifts.  However, our space is limited and so baskets are not always a good plan for us.  Unfortunately, we have had to condense baskets in the past and toss some. 

12.   Do you prefer to stay in a hotel, mission’s apartment, or the home of a church member? I would much rather stay in a hotel first and my second choice would be a missions apartment.  Staying in peoples homes is fine; but I don’t feel as I can relax.

13.   What is the best thing a Pastor’s Wife can do to make you feel comfortable in her church? Introduce herself and talk to me.  I have been in many churches where I never met the pastor’s wife.

14.   What is the best thing that the ladies of the church can do for you?  Just be themselves and feel comfortable to visit with me about anything-they don’t always have to talk to me about Norway!

15.   What is the biggest pressure you have visiting a new church for the first time? Not knowing what they expect or not knowing what the pastor is like.

16.   Do you ever feel that you have to be “fake” at a new church to be accepted as a missionary? (For instance, do you feel the need to always smile, be social, and be positive about every aspect of your ministry and deputation) Just so you know I am trying to be open, honest, real, transparent in this…lol, so I will go ahead and admit yes.  We are at these churches to share our burden for Norway and be as much of a blessing as we can be.  But, also when we are at a missions conference we know that at times not every missionary will be taken on so we need to do our best to stick out from all the other missionaries so when the churches votes as to who to take on they will remember us.

17.   What kind of church makes you “feel at home”?  The churches that are like my home church. Churches where the pastors wife comes and gives me a hug. Churches where I feel free to laugh and be myself, where everyone is friendly. The churches that have a sincere love for missionaries and don’t love them out of obligation.

18.   Who are your best friends and what do they do that encourages you? My husband is my best friend.  I have several best girl friends, who will simply send me a text on the road to check on me or randomly call me on the phone.  My best girl friends let me wear my hair down and cry if I need to and simply listen.

19.   Any “horror “stories you’d like to share? Haha! We once stayed in a home, where the one working bathroom had two doors, one led to their childrens bedroom but was broken so they could see right into the bathroom. And that same house had a heating system that was condemned by the state for carbon monoxide; but they still ran the heat…I think out of fear of dying from carbon monoxide poisioning neither of us slept!

20.   What has been the biggest blessing so far about being “on the road”?  Mmm, this one is tough.  I have had many blessings…material would be my purse fetish, someone gave me my own Coach bag.  Relationship wise, strengthening our family unit.  Spiritually, seeing God provide for us in ways we could never have imagined.

21.   Do you ever get worried that your children will resent the ministry and the fact that you took them from America, away from their family and friends? No.  I choose not to worry about this, we believe that we are in God’s will and we are trusting Him to work out the details as we do our best to raise Klayton for God’s use and glory.

22.   What are your biggest fears and challenges about raising your children in a different culture? I am hoping that God gives us at least one more child so that Klayton has someone to grow up with.  I don’t want him to grow up “alone”…

23.   How do you plan on managing the lonely times (holidays, etc) without your family and friends in the States?  Mimicing holidays as if we were in the states.  I plan on bringing all my scrapbooks so I can look through them during lonely times…skype as well! But, I guess I won’t really know until I get there.  When I get lonely on deputation, I cry to my husband, pray for God to give me grace and hug my baby A LOT!!

24.   What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord?  I pray A LOT and remind myself that since we believe we are in the center of God’s will that HE WILL take care of us. 

25.   Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband for fear of discouraging him? Sometimes.  I feel as if I keep my burdens to myself that I am protecting him…however, most of the time the day draws to an end and we start praying with Klayton then the tears will come and I end up telling him; but I still try to sugarcoat it and act like its not that big of a deal, even though I’m crying!

26.   What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?  Remind him that I think he is doing a good job and try to love on him a little more than usual.

27.   What is your favorite Scripture? Luke 1:38, “…be it unto me according to thy word…” What a heart of humility.

28.   What is your favorite song?  Little is Much When God is in it…

29.   How do you fit in your personal time with the Lord each day?  On travel days its easy because I just do it in the van.  When we are not traveling I usually do it at night before bed.  I am not a morning person and I’m still working on grasping the schedule of mommy and baby in the mornings.  I feel I get the most “meat” when I do it at night.

30.   What is the most important thing you have learned so far about being in the ministry?  My expectations are too high! We can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like us, so I need to place my expectation in the Lord, only, and do my best in resting that I am in His will.