Husband’s Position- Pastor of Victory Baptist Church in Vail, AZ
How long have you been married? 30 years
How many children do you have? How old are they? 4 children: Danny-28, Anthony-27, Melody-25 and Harmony-almost 24
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? I met Dan in N.C at a Shoneys Big Boy restaurant. I went to visit my sister and he and a friend came to the restaurant to meet me.
2. When did you get saved? I made assurance of my salvation at the age of 13 in Denver, Co.
3. Can you share your testimony? I was born and raised in a Baptist home but church was not priority. My parents did make sure though, that as teens, we attended the youth activities. After hearing an Evangelist preach on hell and the unpardonable sin, I decided that I would make sure of my salvation. My mom had always told me that I prayed the sinners prayer but, I wanted it to be something that I could remember.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? All my married life and even before. We worked with a Pastor in PA while finishing our 1st year of Bible college and then we got married that summer and have worked in the ministry since.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?
1 year after I was saved, I surrendered my life to the Lord for whatever He wanted. There was no question in my mind that God wanted me to be a Pastors wife…Never a doubt! I was excited and wouldn’t date any guy if he wasn’t interested in the ministry.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 19 when he was on staff in PA as youth pastor. I was 25 when he started as Assistant Pastor in Syracuse, NY and then 36 when he surrendered to church planting. I was 43 when we came here to Vail to start this work.
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? Not really. Some adults would challenge my husband as to decisions and how he would handle certain situations because they said that we were so young but, the Pastors always supported us or if they felt wrong decisions were made then he would help with that.
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? The hardest part was not being able to attend Pastors meetings especially when they were a long distance away. I loved hearing from seasoned Pastors wives and glean from them. Most of the time we would take our kids with us or we always had it set up where a parent could watch the kids.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby…Always at church, in the nursery. Including visitation
b. Toddler…This is when they learned how to sit quietly in church. Because I was involved in the music ministry, I couldn’t work in the Sunday p.m. toddler class so the kids always sat with me.
c. School age…Made sure they attended activities. If I had work to do at the church I would bring them and let them help or they would play and then learn the importance of cleaning up and respecting the church building. As teens they always knocked on doors with us and helped us with the 2 churches that God allowed us to start in upstate NY. They were involved In the music and Jr. churches as well.
10. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? Always a concern about that. We would try to teach them that we don’t “have” to go to church but, we “get” to go to church and ALWAYS a listening ear. I never got angry when they would ask “why” but would try to encourage them in the Lord.
11. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? LISTEN to your children. We don’t always feel like going to church or visitation…who’s going to yell at us about that? Show understanding and spend as much time with them aside from church. HAVE FUN!! LET YOUR HAIR DOWN SOMETIMES! My daughters remember how silly I would be at the mall or in the store. Show them your fun side. Individual time with each as well.
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? Extremely submissive. I don’t want the responsibility sometimes, of making decisions.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Give him my ear. I don’t try to give advice. If he’s stubborn, I ask him “when was the last time you took it to God” We have spent some nights just talking and sharing concerns and burdens and of course PRAYER!
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? I tell them to pray for their pastor and that they should talk to him about it.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? I say “thank you” and then I ask God to show me if I need to work in that area.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? Not really. We should though. With all the kids grown it’s a little different than when they were young. Years ago, yes.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? Keep my mouth shut! Words can do much harm.
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I have a serious talk with the Lord and then carefully talk to my husband about it. Sometimes they just don’t see what we do.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? Our schedules are so messed up. When we are together we do, most of the time.
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes, sometimes and then when I do talk to him about it I find out that he has the same burden and then there is that special time of prayer.
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? My prayer life is so important to me. I have spent hours audibly crying out to God and WOW! I can’t imagine life without my Bible and prayer.
22. What is your favorite Scripture? Prov. 3:5,6
23. Do you have a favorite song? Many…”It is well” is on the top of my list
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? With the church…peoples faithfulness, for myself…finding time to clean my house LOL! True though.
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? No, I try to spend individual time with each lady at some point. Easy to do right now with a small church.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeve but, I am careful about it. I guess it depends on what’s bothering me too.
27.Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? There have definitely been times that I have said something or done something that offended or hurt someone. Usually I cry first and then I ask that person for forgiveness. There have also been times that I have been accused falsely and I will kindly and gently inform that person that it was a terrible misunderstanding. Sometimes they see it and other times they won’t accept that and it takes time to restore that relationship. PRAYER is the best thing!!
28.Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? ABSOLUTELY! God has blessed me with some very good ministry friends.
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Just love me for me and attend the ladies meetings. I just vented a little J
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? Planning ladies meetings and studies.
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? No Bible study right now. I try to have meetings once a month for 8-9 months.
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I ask them to do things that are needed. I will tell them that I can’t nor do I want to do it all. I want them to be in on the blessings as well.
33. What is the most important thing you pray to pass down to your daughters? To teach their children (my grandkids) to love the Lord and to be faithful to HIM.
34. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? My time is in the evening. I love going to bed with the Lord on my mind.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? Wait on the Lord. Bring ALL to Him.
36. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? One who’s not afraid for others to see that she’s not perfect.
This was great! I love reading each week. Thanks for sharing! :)
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