Ministry Monday...Mrs. Terri Cannon....Wife of the Week

Name- Terri Cannon

Husband’s Position- Pastor

How long have you been married? 30 years on June 5th

How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? We have ten children in heaven. We also have six adopted children. Five were adopted older out of foster care and one was adopted at birth. They are 27, 26, 25, 24, 24, & 20. We have four grandchildren: 7, 3, 2, & 1 and two more on the way.

1.      How long have you been in the ministry? 30+ years

2.      What “positions” has your husband had since being in the ministry? Bus Captain, Sunday School Teacher, Children’s Church Teacher, Youth Pastor, Assistant Pastor, Assistant Youth Pastor, Choir director, Song leader, Trustee, Deacon, Church Planter, & Pastor (I’m sure I missed something in there.)

3.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? When I was 8, I surrendered to full-time service at youth camp. I had some severe family struggles for a while in between and rededicated my life to the Lord when I was 13. When I was 15, I knew the Lord was going to have me marry someone in the ministry. Both times, I knew 100% that this is what God wanted for my life. The hard part was my dad (who was backslidden) arguing with me all the time about how I was going to fall in love with someone who wasn’t going into the ministry. I guarded my heart very carefully.

4.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership?  20

5.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? His first position of leadership was as youth pastor/assistant pastor. I don’t think that I really even thought about my age. For both of us, we were doing what we were supposed to be doing. I never felt like anyone in the church treated us as “youngsters” either. He took his first pastorate when I was 27, and again, I didn’t feel like my age was a factor.

6.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? I don’t think that any of my children limited how much I did in the ministry. My situation is a little different in that only one of my children came to me as an infant. The others came in groups: one group came at 10, 11 & 12; and one group came at 9 & almost 14. My husband has always tried to keep the church schedule limited so that families have several nights a week at home. That always helped. The biggest thing was just keeping my home organized enough that I had the time to do the things my husband wanted me to do. My husband has also always insisted that if one of the kids were sick, I stayed home with them as my role as a mother was/is more important than my duties at church.

7.      What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby… Our baby went to church every time we did. The first time she was at church, she was 4 days old. My husband was an assistant youth pastor at a large church at that time and there was usually a nursery for most activities. The baby went with me to choir practice though and she loved the attention of being passed around while we sang.

b.      Toddler… Again, she went every where with us. When she got up to 3 or 4 we left her with her grandparents when we went to youth camp, but other than that, she was with us. We started a church when she was 4. We had to set up the meeting room every week and she could line up hymn books and pass out offering envelopes like a pro.

c.       School age… Our school age children accompanied us soul winning and on church visits when appropriate. As pastor, my husband made sure there were age appropriate activities for all of the children in the church including our own. As the children learned new musical skills, he allowed them to play instrumental specials and sing but we were always careful not to place our children in the “spotlight.” We wanted their service to be toward the Lord and not as a “performance.”

d.      Teen… As teens, we gave the kids more responsibilities. They had a regular rotation cleaning the church. Our girls took regular turns in the nursery and even taught the preschool Sunday School classes when appropriate. They continued on in their musical involvement in the choir and special singing groups. Two of our girls played clarinet and flute and enjoyed playing offeratories.

8.      Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? I did worry at times that they would resent the ministry, but not for the reasons you might expect. We worked hard to be their parents when it was time to be parents. We took vacations and had regular family time every week. Again, with our children, it was a little different because they had emotional baggage that most kids in the ministry don’t come with. All of our children hit late adolescence and early adulthood and struggled spiritually. All of them have made decisions that have grieved us. And yet, all of them call and ask Bible questions and all of them acknowledge God and His working in their lives. (There was a time when I wondered if they ever would.) In many respects, we did not raise OUR children in the ministry, we raised “bus kids” in the preacher’s house. We did try to point out all of the blessings of the ministry. We were blessed to meet many great men and have them in our home. We were able to take many trips that, outside of the ministry, would not have been possible. We were able to view many nations and cultures up close through missionaries who visited in our home. We always allowed the children to interact with guests and they enjoyed that.

I think the one thing the kids resented were the expectations of church members. We often told the children that God’s expectations were no different because of their father. If they were the pastor’s kids or the milkman’s kids, God still expected the same: fear God, love Him and love their neighbor. However, people can often be unthinking when speaking to kids and that was a harder part of raising kids while we are in the ministry.

9.      What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? As their mother, you are first and foremost the mother. (This is assuming that you are in your rightful place as a Christian and as a wife.) If your child is sick or even just having a hard time, your duties at church should not take precedent over those kids. I now have the empty nest and am free to do whatever church things the Lord and my husband desire of me whenever. When my children were younger, though, I wanted them to KNOW they had a mother who cared for them and would drop everything else when they had a true need. God can and will do His work without you. Those children only have one childhood and you need to nurture and raise them while you can. Aside from that, RELAX. Don’t be so uptight about what other people think that your kids feel like they can’t be kids. We would think it was silly if the physician’s wife panicked every time her child caught a cold because “what will my husband’s patients think?” But we panic every time our child stumbles in their walk with the Lord because of what the deacons or the church ladies will think. Train them. Training implies that there is still much to be learned. By all means, never make your child feel like a failure because they aren’t perfect little Christians. I’m not. Are you?

10.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? This is a hard question for me. My husband has often said “there is no tenderness beneath my honesty” and usually when he gets discouraged, I tell him to suck it up. That’s probably not very “submissive” sounding but sometimes that’s what he needs to hear. I do work to point out the good things God is doing that maybe he has lost sight of. Sometimes the victories we have seen get lost in the daily-ness of the ministry and so I keep little lists of things to remind him of when he struggles.

11.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? First, most people in all of our ministries have known not to complain about him to me. I am very vocal about the fact that he is my hero and my best friend. Second, how I deal with it depends on the source. Often times, criticism comes from a lack of understanding. If someone criticizes in an honest fashion, I will attempt to redirect the person, either to understanding or to talking to my husband directly. If someone criticizes in a destructive way, I want to scratch their eyes out, but instead I walk away and pray for them. After 30 years in the ministry, I know that reacting can cause far more damage than the criticism. Some people are just going to criticize and honestly, those who are critical are generally known for being so. There are always going to be the “simple” who believe every word they hear and the best you can do is hope that time and experience teach them otherwise. Some criticism is good. It causes you to re-evaluate and rethink how others view your actions, but ultimately you have to “walk in your own integrity” and leave the rest to the Lord.

12.  Have you/ Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? We have always tried to set aside date times. When the kids were young, it might just be a special treat we shared together after the kids were in bed. Now, we are once again trying to start a church and we both work secular jobs while we get the church off the ground. Our schedules are pretty hectic but we go out to eat every Friday night. We are empty-nesters but that has not made us strangers. We are more in love than we have ever been and have loved the time we have alone.

13.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? The biggest thing? Ministry or not, he is a man. He leaves the toilet seat up sometimes and he leaves his socks in the floor, but he is MY man! Second, he is not a pastor because of what he does. He is a pastor because of who he is by God’s calling. Some ministry wives wonder what it would be like to live “normal” lives where the husband worked eight hours and came home and left the office at the office. First, there are very few jobs like that. Second, that is not who you are married to. He would be miserable and in your heart you know that. I love the ministry because my man loves the ministry and I love him.

14.   What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I scratch their eyes out. No, not really, but I might…. From very early in our marriage, my husband has trusted my “gut” when it came to other women. There are some women that I just tell him to avoid. He never counsels a woman more than once without bringing me or her husband/father/boyfriend into the counseling. He has a big window in his office door and if he is counseling a woman at the church when it is not before/after a service I go to the building and sit in the auditorium just so he is not alone in the building with her. When the kids were still at home, he would take one or two of them to the building with him for the same purpose.

15.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? We try to pray together every night at bedtime. Occasionally one of us falls asleep, but we try. We don’t really have a regular time of devotion but we talk all the time about what he is studying or what I am studying in the Bible. We just read through Pilgrim’s Progress together and had great conversations about that.

16.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? If my burdens are ministry related things that my husband can do nothing about, for instance, we are a struggling new work and there aren’t a lot of ladies for me to fellowship with, then I usually don’t share those kinds of things with him. He wants to “fix” things for me and I don’t necessarily need to rely on him to fix everything. Some things are just better left with the Lord. Other than that, we share almost everything.

17.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? There are several things that I do to encourage myself in the Lord. I count my blessings regularly. It’s hard to be discouraged when you recall all that the Lord has done for you. Just the knowledge that I deserve Hell and instead will enjoy eternal life in Heaven is unimaginable. I listen to good uplifting music. I have several good Godly radio stations bookmarked on my iPhone radio app and I play those through my car radio while driving. I have chosen for myself a marker to remind me that God loves me and that marker is a lady bug. (There’s a story behind this but I’m already running long.) Every time I see a lady bug, I am reminded that God loves me and my house and even my desk at work are filled with lady bugs.

18.  What is your favorite Scripture? Psalm 27:14 “Wait on the LORD, be of good courage and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”

19.  Do you have a favorite song? Up Calv’ry’s Mountain

20.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I have had close lady friends in the church and it has never been a problem. I try to make every lady I meet at church feel like she has my undivided attention while I am talking to her. Church really isn’t the time that I buddy up to my friends.

21.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? I do have three close friends who have been married to men in the ministry for many years that I go to for counsel. I don’t vent a lot because they have enough of their own frustrations without me adding mine, but I do talk to them and joke with them and find it nice to be able to “be myself” more.

22.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Show up and get involved. Nothing encourages me more than to see the ladies growing and ministering.

23.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I love almost every part of the ministry. I love teaching Sunday School—all ages. I love working in the nursery. I love singing. I love planning and serving at fellowships. I used to hate speaking to ladies but I even enjoy that now. I don’t know what would really be my favorite. If I had to choose, I think it would be participating in congregational singing.

24.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? Those troubles in my family when I was a kid that I spoke of earlier, during those times, I learned what it meant to “pray without ceasing.” For my Bible reading, it varies. I try to read some everyday but I really enjoy searching out a subject in the Scriptures and do that regularly. I don’t have a set time that I read my Bible and pray but I do some every day.

25.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? The most important thing I have learned is that it’s all about God’s plan for a given people in a given place at a given time. You can’t compare any two ministries or men or even two different churches you have been in. Four years ago, I spent 39 days in the hospital and almost died. I had five surgeries and I was even on life support, though conscious, for several days. You know what? God’s work went on without me. I just have to do today what God wants me to do today. He takes care of all the rest.