Baby Blessing #5...It's a.....

Today we found out the gender of this precious little one that has been growing inside of me for the past 18 weeks!! I have not really had any morning sickness with this little bundle, so I thought it must be a boy...WELL, no, sir! It is  GIRL!! And surprisingly when the u/s tech announced that, I was so excited! Maybe I secretly was hoping for another girl...I like familiarity ;) I am so excited! I think I already said that.

I was a little bummed when we told our boy (who already has 3 sisters) and he said "but I pwayed fo a boy?!"  I do feel a little sad for him because he was so wanting a brother...but God decided that we needed yet another princess, and we are so thankful and blessed <3 I told my mother in law, "Someone has to be providing good wives to all of these future pastors & missionaries!" 

I will admit though- the more daughters I have, the more inadequate I feel in raising them! I have so much I want to teach them, but there is so much I can't really do well myself (like sew!)...I want them to grow to be the best wives & mothers they can be, and I am just feeling overwhelmed thinking about that today! So, if you think of it, say a little prayer for me!! :) 

Happy 31st Birthday to my wonderful husband!! I love him so much...can't believe how old he is! :) Also on this very special day 7 years ago, I became a mommy! One of the most challenging/ rewarding jobs in the world! So thankful for my sweet Selah Elizabeth! 

The Pastor'S WIfe

The Pastor’s Wife

There is one person in our church

Who knows our Pastor’s life,

Who weeps and smiles and prays with him.

And that’s the Pastor’s Wife!

The crowds have seen him

In his strength,

When wielding God’s sharp sword,

As underneath God’s banner bold

He faced the devil’s horde.

But deep within her heart,

She knows

That scarce an hour before,

She helped him pray

That glory down,

Behind the closet door.

She’s heard him groaning –

In his soul

When bitter raged the strife,

As hand in hand she knelt

With him

For she’s the Pastor’s Wife!

You tell your tales

Of prophets brave

Who marched across the World

And changed the course of history

By burning words they hurled.

And I will tell how back of each

Some woman lived her life,

Who wept with him and smiled with him –

She was the Pastor’s Wife!

Mrs. Rena Frayer...Ministry Wife of the Week!

Husband’s Position- Sr Pastor Bible Baptist Church Norwich NY
How long have you been married? 19 1/2 yrs
How many children do you have? How old are they? 5 children-11, 10, 7, and 2 and one waiting for me in Glory.
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? Matt and I were a blind date set up by my sister
2. When did you get saved? I got saved Dec 31, 1999
3. Can you share your testimony? I lived in a Pastor's home and knew all what I need to know about God in my head. I lived as a so called Christian but didn't have that personal relationship with Him until my husband preached a message on New Year’s Eve called "Are You Ready?". I knew if I didn't get it right then-it would be my last chance. God glorious saved my soul and life hasn't been the same since.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? Matt has been a Pastor for about 12 yrs, but we have been, teen leaders and visitation pastor before all that.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? God called my husband to be a pastor but as a child growing up I wanted to be a missionary to Mexico. Become a RN and work in an orphanage. God had another plan. At first it was hard because I know the trials my parents have been through. But being a PK is a lot different than a Pastor's wife.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I think I was about 22 when we became teen leaders.
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I don't think you are every fully ready for leadership. The kids were pretty good. When he became Sr pastor however that was a different story. My dad was the pastor before, and he still is a member. Some of the people still call him or go to him for things, and that is a daily battle. 
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? God didn't bless us with children until we had been married 7 1/2 yrs. So yes I did less but felt so privileged to have my kids. We had 7 pregnancies in 10 yrs. So needless to say it was a little crazy. I always want to do more, but my kids come first before church-not God.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?                           *baby-people love babies so that’s not too hard.
*toddlers-they can sing and smile
*school age/teens-  they can do so much-clean, help with projects, sing, be polite, my older  ones help watch my 2 yr old so I can play piano and sing.
10. Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? I do at times. We say we like to go to serve not we have to. Try to give the right attitude. Find their talent and let them use it. I have one who loves to sing, one who’s crafty, one who is a prayer warrior and Josh(2) is a lover of people.
11. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Make sure everything isn't about church. Get some activities just for family. They are not perfect-don't expect them to be and don't let other make them feel that way either. Let them be kids!
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? Oh my. Matt's word is finally but he knows my opinion sometimes too well. God is still working on me too-thank God.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? He loves chicken so some KFC makes him smile. I make some time for him and I. Make him feel like he’s the best-because he is.
Never go a day without saying I love you and mean it and show him. Of course pray with him and for him.
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others?  Not well. I am very protective. I saw my dad go through some tough things so it’s hard. I've had to learn to break down wall and let people in. You could say I am a mama bear.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? It hurts but I get over it. I am not here to please people-only God. Life is too short for grudges. I have learned sometimes the best response is no response.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? With help from my family with the kids. It doesn't happen often enough. We walk together a lot and that’s our time to talk.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? I am not the Holy Spirit. I have to allow God to do work not me. I like things to get done on my time-lol. Take care of my family first.
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? We have a policy never be alone with the opposite sex. If he counsels and it’s a woman-I am there- If a woman calls and needs to talk-I talk to her, not him.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? We try but some days are better than others.
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? It depends what it is. Don't want him to have more to worry about, but he'd rather that I am honest with him-as hard as it might be for me to tell him.
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord?  I love music. I like walking. Both help me so much and of course Prayer to my Lord.
22. What is your favorite Scripture? Romans 12:1,2 -Phil 4:13, many more but these are 2.
23. Do you have a favorite song? People Need the Lord and Jesus Paid it all. I love Hymns and Southern Gospel.
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? Sometimes I am not satisfied with where I am. I don't have a close friend near me-she lives in GA. I feel alone many times because you cannot share certain things with people in the church.
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church?  Yes, I love them all but they are not my best friends. We have great woman and they are wonderful to me. But I don't have a buddy. Matt is my buddy.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I have a hard time hiding my feeling so I am sure they see when I am discouraged, but I have been working on that more. I don't feel like I have to be perfect but I do need to set an example.
27. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  Oh man ....as my son would say-yes and yes-I go and am honest with them and tell them I messed up. Ask for forgiveness.
28. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? Yes-my mom of course, and a few others.
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Respect me and my husband.
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I LOVE TO SING!
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? Yes, we do Bible study every Friday morning, and a ladies day every year
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I always seem to have the same ones but ask them to use their special talent. 
33. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? Love the Lord with all their heart and serve with a heart not just because they have to. Get a spouse that loves God.
34. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? When the baby is asleep. That’s the time when it is quiet.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? I am my husband’s wife first and a mother-then a Pastor's wife. Priority is a must.
36. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? Imperfect who wants to grow in Jesus? One who has a pure heart for the things of God? A down to earth lady-not stuck up. Got to love kids and people. 

Chrissy Dedmon- Wife of the Week

Husband’s Position-Church Planter/ former pastor

How long have you been married? 16 years on May 25

How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? I have 7 children.  Kylie, our only girl is 15, Matthew will be 13 in June, Caleb is 10, Silas 6, Titus 4, Joel 2, and Jedidiah- 3 weeks

1.      Where/How did you meet your husband? We went to school together from K5- 7^th grade.  Our school was 20 miles East of Springfield, MO, and after my 7^th grade year, my family moved to a town 20 miles west of Springfield.  When we were seniors in high school we both worked at a hospital in Springfield, and began dating.  That was 19 years ago.  =-)

2.      When did you get saved?  I was saved when I was 4 ½.  My grandpa led me to the Lord.  My sister and I were outside playing at the church.  My grandpa (our pastor) came out of the parsonage and asked to talk to me.  He took me inside, sat me on his knee and talked to me about Jesus.  We then got down on our knees and I prayed and asked the Lord to save me.  My grandpa went home to be with the Lord this past August, and I'm so thankful for him, and many memories, but especially that one!

3.      Can you share your testimony?  (this is the testimony in our information packet) I was born to christian parents who faithfully took me to church, and I was saved when I was 4 ½ years old.  I vividly remember sitting on my Grandpa's lap and him talking to me about Jesus and then kneeling down with him and asking Jesus to save me.  Not long after I was saved, my parents got divorced, and as a result I went to church some, but not faithfully again until I was 22 years old.   I always had a desire to live a christian life, and to be in the ministry (though know one would have known it), but it was all so foreign to me that I never thought I could live that life, or that I would be good enough for God to use me.  When we were expecting our first child I knew that I didn't want her to grow up how we were living, and decided that I was going to raise her in church.  I went a few times, but I hated going alone.  My husband told me he would go after the baby was born.  He did go with me when she was a few weeks old, and from that first time we went I was ready to be there for everything!  After we became more faithful in church, it wasn't long before I knew that God was going to call my husband to preach.  I told him that several times to which he would respond that I was crazy and just trying to change him.  I praise the Lord for my grandma who told me to shut my mouth, and let God call him, and if I didn't that he would probably never answer the call to preach.  Keeping my mouth shut was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but for 4 years I waited and prayed, and kept my thoughts to myself.  I was in a hurry, but God knew I needed that time!  It was during those 4 years that God changed my heart to follow my husband, rather than trying to lead him, and he showed me how good life was when I was willing to let go, and to be willing to go and to do whatever God called my husband to.  And then in August 2001, he surrendered.   In September we moved to Oklahoma City, and in January 2002 he started classes at Heartland Baptist Bible College.  It has been an exciting 10+ years, and absolutely the best years of our lives.  I'm still not good enough to be in the ministry, but I'm thankful that God chose to use me and it's Him who enables me to do what He's called us to do.  Ephesians 3:20- Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us,

4.      How long have you been in the ministry?  8 years

5.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?  As I stated in my testimony I knew for 4 years that God wanted us in the ministry, and really even before that, so I was ready, and it wasn't hard at all to submit to that.

6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? We had worked in different areas of the church, but my 1^st official position was as church planter/ pastor's wife at the age of 29.

7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?  I didn't have a hard time adjusting, but then I think that maybe planting a church was easier.  I wasn't taking anyone's place, and I was the one in that position from the time anyone came.  I don't know that I felt “ready”, but I was excited about what God was doing, and He was so gracious to give us people who loved us back.  We had a few bumpy times in Luther, but overall it was wonderful!  ( I was glad when I turned 30 though b/c there was one lady who would make comments about me being in my 20s.)

8.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  I had 3 children, and found out I was pregnant with our 4^th when we started the church so I don't know.  One thing that I've always loved is that my husband only expected me to be his wife and a mother to our children, and things at the church came after that.  I was always very active, and did lots of things, but he also expected other ladies to do stuff too, and he would say that if someone didn't do it that it just wasn't going to get done, that it wasn't all up to me.  That was always a blessing to me to not have to be the bad guy, and not be overwhelmed thinking I had to do it all.

9.      What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby…Always take them with us everywhere

b.   Toddler…take them too, they love door knocking riding down the sidewalk in their stroller.  And older people love it when they come and visit with you! 

c.      School age/teens…They helped more as they got older.  They helped us clean, build our building, visit, set-up, although we didn't have a whole lot of that b/c we started in a funeral home, and there were already pews.  My oldest son was our song-leader on Wednesday nights when he got old enough, and my daughter would fill in playing the piano.  They were always our ushers from the time they were about 5.  We are planning on Kylie teaching Sunday School, Matthew leading singing, and all the boys ushering when we start again.  They love serving, even though I have noticed as they've gotten older it's sometimes harder b/c they get embarrassed.  We also used all the kids in the church, not just ours.

10.  Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them?  I have always worried about that b/c of my dad and my aunt and uncles who have resented the ministry b/c my grandpa put everything at the church before them.  But I've used that to learn from, and make sure we don't repeat that.  It's not always fun, it's a lot of work, and I want them to understand that, but I do try to remember to take time out to just do something fun, or to make a game out of our work.  One thing I've learned is that their attitude and opinion about whatever situation we're in is often what mine is, so I try to have a good attitude.

11.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry?  Put them 1^st, but also make them understand that there are times when other people need you, things have to be done, and that it is a joy to serve the Lord.  Expect your kids to act a certain way and do things b/c they're your kids, and b/c you love the Lord, and not b/c you're in the ministry and that's what's expected.  I've always told them, it doesn't matter that we're in the ministry, we would expect you to do and act this way b/c you're our kids, not b/c of what people think.

12.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  I am NOT naturally submissive!  I'm prideful and want my own way, and I have to give it to the Lord.  A friend once told me early in my Christian walk when I really needed it- she said, “I don't submit to my husband b/c I love my husband, but b/c I love my Lord, and want to please Him.”  I've always remembered that, and it's been a blessing and a help to me.

13.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?  I usually just say, well what does God want us to do?  Did He call us here?  Not in an ugly way, but to say, just keep going on, God knows where we are, and what's going on right now, and he'll get us through this, too.  And I pray for him, and tell him so.  When he's away and getting ready to preach, or when he's had to meet with people I'll text him or send him a note to tell him I love him and I'm praying for him.

14.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? After I get through wanting to poke their eyes out, I usually just pray for them. 

15.  How do you deal with personal criticisms?  I 1^st examine myself to see if they might be right.  Is there something I need to change?  And I talk to my husband about it, and if he doesn't think there's a problem, God doesn't think there's a problem then  I just blow it off, and go on.  I can't control what other people think or say.

16.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?  We set aside time every morning and evening to spend time with each other.  And then we go out for lunch and stuff, too.  A lot more now that we have a 15 year old who can watch the other kids!

17.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?  That he's just a man, and he needs me to encourage him, and love him. That it's an honor to be used of God serving Him where He's put us.

18.   What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church?  I warn him about them.  He's also very careful.  He made it very plain to the church from the pulpit that women were never to come to the church without calling 1^st, and if they did show up he would either ask them to come back later, or he would leave.  He doesn't make visits alone, and he won't hug any woman, just shakes hands.  We're also very seldom not together so that helps, too.

19.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily?  Family time, not just the 2 of us, although we are planning to.

20.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?  Sometimes, but not usually.  There are a lot of things though that if I'll just talk to God about 1^st I don't find the need to tell anyone else.

21.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Read, pray, sing songs.  Read my prayer journal and remember what God has done in the past, and what He can do today!

22.  What is your favorite Scripture?  This is one.  I have several!  Ephesians 3:20- Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us,

23.  Do you have a favorite song?  When We See Christ, Farther Along, What a friend We Have in Jesus

24.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  Honestly, I don't have one.  I love the ministry1

25.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church?  I choose not to.  I befriend them all, but I try not to have any of them be closer than another.  But I did do things with all of them at different times.

26.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife?  I have let them see it, I think they all knew I wasn't perfect-lol.  And it was a good thing b/c when we were going through trials that people knew about they would often comment on it being a blessing to them about how they saw us draw our strength from the Lord.  I think it helps people to see that you're as human as them, but equally as important that they see the Lord in you. 

27.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  Fortunately there was only 1 big major offence, and although she never fully got over it, I just apologized, told her I was wrong, that I loved her, and killed her with kindness.

28.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  Sometimes.  There are ladies who I know I can always go to, and others who God has brought along in time of need.  Many times I just go to the Lord, and never tell anyone else anything.

29.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you?  Tell me they're praying, cards, taking me out for my birthday, remembering special days for me and for my kids.  Brought food when I was sick, took care of things so I wouldn't have to.  (those are things ladies in our church did that were a blessing)

30.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?  Teaching ladies, and girls, but my very favorite is standing at the door greeting everyone.  I always liked to make sure I talked to every person there, every service.  There wasn't anything I didn't like to do.

31.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships?  No, but only bc we're in between

32.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church?  Ask them at 1^st to help me do small jobs that I really don't need help with, but want to include them, and then eventually they are comfortable just doing it on their own.

33.  What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children?  To love the Lord with all their heart, mind, body, and soul

34.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?  It comes 1^st.  I get up before everyone else so I can spend time with the Lord and my husband, then I get the kids up.

35.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?  To love people and give them time to grow.  Compassion makes a difference in their lives.  When they know you love them you can teach them the hard things along with the basics.

36.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife?  One who loves the Lord, loves her husband and her children, who is 'real', and loves the people that God gives her to minister to.

Oh yeah! I forgot I had a blog! ;)

Well, I have not posted in forever! I have been busy, busy...Guess it has something to do with the fact that I have 4 children that require a lot of time and attention! They are getting big and I am so proud of each of them......BIG NEWS!!!! most of you already know, but WE ARE EXPECTING baby #5 in February! I go for my first u/s on Thursday...praying to hear a nice strong & healthy heartbeat! Will keep you posted!

Click this link for a devotion I recently did about having a Teachable Spirit :)

And The Winner Is......!!

 

Congratulations, Cindee!!

CD GIVEAWAY!!!

Will be giving away one of my new CDs!! Just "like" my blog page on facebook and comment under the post about the giveaway! The winner will be announced here on my blog Saturday!!

LIKE THE BLOG HERE!!

Happy Resurrection Day!!

Hope everyone had a wonderful day celebrating the resurrection of our Lord! He's no longer on the cross...no longer in the grave...but HE IS RISEN and He is ALIVE!! Here are a few great sermons on the resurrection from my wonderful husband Matt, Pastor of Tri-City Baptist Church in Binghamton, NY! LISTEN HERE!

It's HERE!!!

My CD has arrived! Yay! I am so excited:) You can order it here!! Hope you enjoy it!

Spring Cleaning!

So I have not been on facebook since Monday (other than a quick post about church) and I have so been enjoying it....I know, it's sad, but I guess I didn't realize how much time I was spending on there! I would usually sit and "facebook" while I was nursing Joy, but then she'd fall asleep and some days I'd just sit there until she woke up. These last few days I realized how much I could get done during her little naps! :)

I have been busy getting our school room ready for next year...and yes, I know I still have 4 months! I'm just a little excited. It is going to be so cute! I have also been enjoying (and I do mean enjoying) deep cleaning the house. There is nothing more exciting than throwing things away....it makes me happy! :-) It is nice to get the clutter out of the house! 

It is also nice to get the clutter out of our lives. There are so many things we can do to waste our valuable time! TV, Facebook, reading, etc...just so many little "fun" things that can start as 20 minutes to ourselves and turn into a huge time waster! Now, I don't know about you, but I have no extra time to be wasting!! Yes, I am a stay at home mom, but that doesn't have to be a stay at home, (on my butt) mom. There are a bajillion better things I can be doing with my time. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, dishes, schooling, teaching my 4 precious children about the Lord, praying, Bible reading, church work...I really could go on and on! So, after my only 4 days off of facebook, and feeling like a new woman, I will be mindfully spending much less time on there in the near future! 

I am sorry to all of you who wait on the edge of your seat for my next exciting status update!! LOL :p

"BLESSED"...almost here!!

I'm so excited! After talking about it for over a year, my CDs should be shipped out tomorrow...which means I should have them by Saturday! I can't wait to see how they turned out!! I hope they look good...anyways, if you are interested in a copy, you can order now. I will be shipping some on Monday (as long as I get them Saturday) or Tuesday and would love to add yours to those I am shipping:) You can either order here or you can go to http://barbiesmith.com and order. Cds are $12 each. Shipping for one is $3 and for each additional $1....hope you enjoy it! There are 14 songs which you can find listed here

Happy Resurrection Week!

If you are my friend on facebook, do not be alarmed! I am not deleting my account for good....just taking a break for the week to focus on some more important things. Love you all <3

Spring is here!

I haven't posted in a long time! Everything is going wonderful. The kids are growing and are more of a blessing each day. Joyanna is already 9 months and she loves to walk. She still falls down a lot, but she can get a good 5-10 steps in before she does. She is just the sweetest little thing! Selah is almost done with 2nd grade and we are getting ready to order her curriculum for next year. I cannot believe how fast they are growing up. It makes me sad if I think about it....so I try not to think about it :P Ellie is adorable as always, still enjoying the "terrible 2's" to the fullest, haha. She is a sweetheart, but sadly, she is just like her momma! We will be starting school with Sam this year! I can't wait to see how he does. 
I am so excited that I got 4 matching school desks! I found a great deal on ebay and got them all for $130. I am so excited to get our classroom set up! The church is going well, and we are excited about all of the summer activities that will be going on. Life is good. God is good. Love you all!

Mrs. Lindsay Lusk...Associate Pastor's Wife!

Husband’s Position- My husband is an associate pastor at Hillcrest Baptist Church in El Paso, Texas.

How long have you been married? 10 years in June

How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? We have three blessings:  Clayton (13); Quinton (8); and Hudson (1).  The Lord chose to build our family in a unique way – our older two are family members of ours that we are raising.  I thought it might be a good idea to point that out since, if you do the math, we shouldn’t have a 13-year-old yet J

1.  Where/How did you meet your husband? We met our freshman year (2000) at Heartland Baptist Bible College.

2.      When did you get saved? I was saved on November 1, 1998.

3.    Can you share your testimony?  I would love to!  The Lord has been so good to me!  I was raised in a single-parent, Christian home and I am SO thankful that my mom had us in church (Eastside Baptist Church in Sioux Falls, SD) from an early age.  I had been told that I had made a profession of faith when I was young.  While I was in high school, I really started struggling with assurance of my salvation as I just did not remember anything about my so-called profession.  After going back and forth for quite a while, I just decided I was going to take care of it right then so that I had no more doubting.  I was 16 when I accepted Christ and am so grateful to now have that sweet assurance.  (Side note:  after coming to the Lord, a sweet lady in our church tracked down the information regarding the profession I had made as a young child – I was barely three.  That would explain why I hardly remembered it!)

4.      How long have you been in the ministry?  Combined total of almost six years (this is our second ministry – we took a break in between ministries for my husband to finish his schooling).

5.    How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?  You know, I really did know from early on – before I even met my husband.  When I left for Bible college, I just had a feeling that I wouldn’t be moving back home as I felt the Lord had something else for me.  I don’t remember a specific call from the Lord, but more an assurance (especially while I was in Bible college) that being in the ministry is what He had for me.  I did not have a difficult time submitting to it at all.  I think this is because of the influence my home pastor and his family had on me.  I saw what a blessing it was (for me personally) to have someone follow the Lord and be in the ministry and I have always been grateful for the opportunity to try and be a blessing in the same way to someone else.

6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership?  I was 20 when he first became the youth pastor at his home church (Bible Baptist Church, Ennis, Texas).

7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? YES, NO, and somewhat J  The first six months we were working with the youth, we had a group of kids that were barely younger than me and some of them had actually been in the youth group WITH my husband… pretty awkward J  Anyway, they were real sweet about it and the next “crop” of teens were much younger and we were able to have them through most of their high school years.  I feel like I was my own worst enemy as far as making myself feel inadequate because I was so young.  No one else made me feel that way, just me.  The adults at our church were wonderful and not disrespectful in any way so that was a huge blessing.  One of the many times in my life that I just had to remember that if the Lord called me to it, then I didn’t need to worry what anyone else (including me) thought about it.

8.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  This is a little bit of a tough question to answer since we were given all three of our children at once and two of them were already older.  Obviously, not the “normal” situation.  Also, when we went from having no kids (for eight years) to having all three, we were in Bible college – not really in an official “position” of ministry at the time.  But, for the sake of the question, if I had to compare our first ministry (pre-kids) with our current ministry, I would say that there is quite a difference.  But, in my opinion, a wonderful difference.  I wanted to be a mama for so long that I don’t really resent anything that my children might “keep” me from doing.  I hope that makes sense.   

9.      What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby…Of course, Hudson spends most of his time in the nursery J  But I try really hard to “share” him with folks at the church.  I hope that doesn’t sound weird.  In other words, if he is acting shy, I still encourage him/help him to shake other people’s hands and sometimes even go to people.  Now, if he has had an especially rough day or isn’t feeling good, that’s another story.  I obviously want to try to find a balance between doing my best job as a mama but also not enabling him to be a stinker just because he feels like being one J Again, I hope that makes sense.  (I’ve already said that haven’t I?) 

b.      Toddler… Am just now getting to that point with Hudson (see above), but wasn’t able to experience that stage with my older boys.

c.       School age/teens… I LOVE LOVE LOVE having older boys!  I am constantly telling my friends (who have several small children) that I have it SO much easier than them because my older two are SUCH a big help!  I love that they love serving and I hope to continue to instill that in them by my words and my example.  They LOVE it when we have people over to the house and they are both pretty social with going around church and greeting everybody/shaking their hands.  Just yesterday, Clayton reminded me that we need to “reinvite” our neighbors to church since they didn’t come the last time we invited them.  He was even willing to go over there himself J  My husband and I try really hard to make them aware of other’s needs (both here in our home and in church) and not to be thinking of themselves.  All that being said, again, we hope to find a good balance between family time and ministry time, but a lot of times, they are combined.  We love serving as a family!

10.  Do you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them?  As I mentioned before, we really make sure to involve them in everything that we are able to so that they just see it as a way of life – not as something they HAVE to do.  Also, I’ve been encouraged lately (actually from reading other “Ministry Monday” posts) to verbally talk about what a blessing it is to be in the ministry.  My husband and I also make it a point to not say anything negative or discouraging about certain things – especially in front of the boys.

11.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry?  I think the best piece of parenting advice I ever heard was from a man in our church in Oklahoma City when we were in Bible college.  It’s not specifically for ministry moms, but is applicable even more so I would imagine.  “Our job is not to raise good kids, but to raise Godly adults.”  I try to keep that perspective when dealing with all areas of our children’s lives; whether it be here at home in treating their brothers, at church when serving/ministering to others, and even when disciplining.  I don’t know if there is such a things as a “perfect balance” but I’m trying to reach it if there is J  Trying to spend that one-on-one time with them so that they never feel robbed of my time, but also involving them in as much ministry as possible so that, hopefully, they will cultivate a love for serving God as well.

12.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  Ah!!  Everytime I read this question on other wives’ questionnaires, I’m just looking for someone to say “IS there such a thing as a naturally submissive person?!” ha!  Definitely my carnal flesh is not submissive.  This is something that the Lord has been molding and shaping me into even more so in the last couple of years.  I do feel like I’ve gotten better at submitting but what I have to guard against is a bad attitude while doing so.  Obviously, a bad attitude completely negates any “submission” that I might be proud of.

13.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?  I have to be careful with this because I have such a tendency to want to encourage anyone and everyone and sometimes what I want to say may not always be Spirit-led.  Usually, I will listen to him for quite a while without saying anything and then just say things when I know the Lord wants me to.   Also, just lately I feel like I’ve started to understand how important it is for my husband to WANT to come home to a nice house, dinner on the table that he likes, as a sort of encouragement in itself, so I’ve really been working in this area as well.

14.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others?  Thankfully, I don’t know that we have really experienced much (if any) of this.  I know there are some people who from time to time don’t agree with something that my husband has done but they haven’t come to me to say so, they just mostly tell him to his face J  At that point, I just try to be a listening  board and offer words of encouragement if the Lord so leads.

15.  How do you deal with personal criticisms?  I try to remember Proverbs 29:1 “He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.”  I remind myself that there is so much to learn from others and not to be prideful and not accept suggestions, etc. from others.  Most of the time if people criticize something I’ve done, it’s usually something that I’ve done under my authority’s umbrella of protection so to speak.  So, I just pass the buck J  No, that sounds harsh.  I’ll just usually (and kindly) refer them to my authority. 

16.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?  We do from time to time, but not on a regularly scheduled basis.  My favorite evenings are when the kids are in bed and he and I can just hang out for a while.

17.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?  In a sentence:  to have the proper view of ministry itself.  To not view it as drudgery or a chore, or even as my husband’s “job” that once he gets home he can escape from.  As most ladies who are reading this know, it’s not a typical job.  When you’re “off”, you’re not really off, and I’m okay with that.  I married a man who was called to preach and that was my choice.  It wouldn’t be right for me to view his job as an inconvenience, but rather I try to jump in with both feet and help him where I can.

18.  What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church?  We haven’t dealt with this while ministering to adults (thankfully!), but while he was a youth pastor, we had to put some boundaries in place as far as no “frontal” hugging from teenage girls, never being alone in a vehicle with any of the teenage girls, etc. 

19.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily?  We do not.  We have our own personal devotions of course and will share with each other from time to time how the Lord has been speaking to us.

20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?  Sometimes.  If it’s something that I ultimately know is pretty minor, I will share it with him because he can usually talk some sense into me J  If it’s something major, I try to pray about it first – should I bring this up to him?  And if so, when?  (I’ve learned that timing is everything when bringing up important things to my husband.  Sunday morning before he is going teach?  Probably not a good idea J)

21.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord?  Lock myself in my room (while the baby is sleeping and my older two are doing school) for 10-15 minutes and get in the Word.  Best medicine for any discouraged soul.

22.  What is your favorite Scripture?  I have two:  Psalm 18:30 “As for God, his way is perfect:  the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.”  And I Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:  but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted about that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

23.  Do you have a favorite song?  I love “God’s Been God”!

24.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  Hands down, comparing myself to others.  Unfortunately, this is something that I have struggled with through the years.  Before I was in the ministry, it was comparing myself to so-and-so.  And now?  Being in the ministry?  If left to myself, not much has changed.  This is where I again have to remind myself that God doesn’t move in everyone’s lives in the exact same way, and it’s “okay” if something in my life isn’t the same as someone else’s if He hasn’t led me in that way.

25.  Do you ever find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church?  Now, I haven’t ever been the head pastor’s wife and I would almost imagine that in that position, one might need to be even more guarded against that.  However, I would say that in my own life, I’ve found that there are people that you are naturally going to grow closer to just because they may be more involved in similar ministries and you see more of them, etc.  I try not to single people out to speak with/visit with while I’m at church.  If I’m talking to someone and another lady approaches us, I try and join her in on our conversation so that she doesn’t feel left out.  I should note that I feel so blessed with the church staff God has allowed us to be a part of.  We are all fairly young (20’s and 30’s), roughly in the same stage of life as each other and of course, have quite a bit in common.  We LOVE spending time with each other and I have become good friends with the other staff ladies.  (Super fun side note:  my pastor’s wife was actually my childhood best friend and her dad was my pastor while I was growing up.  Most people here at church are so surprised to find out how long we have known each other J)

26.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife?  Absolutely (to the first question J).  I feel very strongly that when someone is “real” that makes all the difference as far as ministering goes.  Now, there are boundaries.  Obviously, I’m not going to call so-and-so up and tell her all the things about my husband that frustrate me.  My point is, my husband and believe that effective ministry is built on relationships, and real relationships cannot grow without some level of transparency.  Again, there are clear boundaries here, but I feel like it’s important to not make yourself seem “perfect”; like you are on some sort of higher level, when that isn’t the case at all. 

27.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  Well, I guess it’s good that nothing HUGE immediately comes to mind – ha!  I will say that I have a tendency to over-apologize (I guess that’s a good thing?) if I do feel like I’ve offended someone.  Most of the time, if I find myself in such a situation, the person I’m talking to doesn’t have the slightest clue what I am apologizing for, so that’s always humbling J

28. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  Counsel?  Definitely.  Venting?  I try to keep that between me and the Lord and sometimes my husband of course.  As I mentioned earlier, I am so thankful for the church staff that we are a part of and I feel very comfortable going to any of these ladies to talk to them.  I’m also thankful for technology where I am able to keep in touch with a lot of my friends from Bible college who are serving in various ministries and they are always an encouragement to me.

29.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you?  For me, I love it when people love my family.  To hear an encouraging word about my husband’s message or my children’s behavior is such a blessing to me.

30.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?  A big part of my husband’s job is that he oversees all of the Sunday School classes.  It’s important to him that he builds relationships with the Sunday School teachers; he doesn’t want to have “Sunday morning only” type relationships.  That being said, we have people over to the house a lot just to try and be a blessing to them and to get to know them better.  I would say that is my favorite part of serving the Lord and being a blessing to my husband. 

31.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships?  Yes, we do.  I am not solely responsible for any one thing, but my pastor’s wife does an amazing job!  We have a Friday night/Saturday morning ladies’ conference in the spring, a mother/daughter banquet, as well as monthly ladies’ meetings which are always such a blessing.

32.  What ways do you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church?  Last year, my pastor’s wife split the ladies ministry up into several groups (one of which I am in “charge of” if you want to say).  I try to build relationships with the ladies that are in my group.  I don’t want to just pick up the phone to call them if I need them to do something, you know that I mean?  That being said, we have found a good way to involve ladies is to find out what they are interested in.  There are several ladies that love to cook, others may enjoy decorating more.  I try to find out what their interests are and then use them in that way.  Also, another staff wife had mentioned how important it is to let the ladies know how much you appreciate it when they do something for a meeting, banquet, etc., so I send out thank you notes to let them know their work didn’t go unnoticed.

33.  What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children?  To be young men (and one day, older men) of integrity.  To love the Lord with all their being and follow Him.  If it’s being in the ministry?  Great.  If it’s being a doctor or a cashier at a convenience store?  Great.  Just serve Him and follow Him with their whole hearts. 

34.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?  I HAVE to do it first thing in the morning, which requires me to wake up about an hour before the kids get up.  If I don’t do it then, it won’t get done.

35.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?  God can and wants to use everyday people (like me) to have an impact and eternally change the lives of others.  I know because that is what happened in my own life.

36.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife?  Is there such a person? J  A lady that, first of all, has her relationship with the Lord right and secondly, has her relationship with her husband right.  She asks herself:  What can I do to serve my Lord and my husband?  How can I do to be a blessing and help to my husband?