Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Mrs. Barbara Furan....Wife of the Week!

Husband’s Position- Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church, Niagara Falls, NY
How long have you been married? October will be 19 years.How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they?  4 children; Eric (20), Joshua (16), Christina (14) this week, Andrew (10)
1.      Where/How did you meet your husband?  I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan with the Air Force and he was stationed there with the Marine Corps.  We met in a nightclub.  I had orders to leave Japan and he had orders to stay so we married only after knowing each other a month and had our orders extended there.  There was no proposal, just a question posing the idea of marriage.  My response to the question was, “You don’t even love me.”  His response was that he could learn to.  We obviously did not have the Lord in our life at that time, but it’s amazing that his answer was so true!   
2.      When did you get saved?  I was saved the Spring of 1991 on Gate 2 Street in Okinawa, Japan.
3.      Can you share your testimony?  I was raised in a single-parent home in El Paso, TX.  At the age of 18, I joined the Air Force to get out of El Paso.  My life was a mess and that was my only out.  I immediately found myself stationed in Okinawa, Japan (where my mother is from and the place I was born).  At the age of 19, I was pregnant with my first son and alone.  It was when I was six months pregnant, that I first believed that there was a God.  Throughout my pregnancy, I verbalized on many occasions how I wished I would lose the baby (not really meaning it in my heart).  Even as a lost person, I did not believe in abortion, but was scared to death about becoming a single mother.  When I was six months pregnant, my appendix ruptured and I knew that there was a God and He was fully prepared to answer my request that I had verbalized.  I begged God that day to spare my baby and immediately after I got out of the hospital, I began my search for a “church,” knowing that I needed my life to change.  I visited many to include Seventh Day Adventist, Mormon, and the Base Chapel.  After my son was born, I was shopping alone with him on Gate 2 Street.  A group of people approached me with gospel tracts.  They presented the gospel to me and I didn’t hesitate to kneel there in the shopping area to pray.  I knew without a doubt that Jesus was the answer to my sin.  The only way my life would have hope and could change for the better.  I visited the church that this group was from, but they were charismatic and the Pastor could not explain tongues to me, so I quit my search for a church.  I was married about a year later.  It wasn’t until I was married for 2 years and was transferred to Air Traffic Control, where I met 8 people who attended Maranatha Baptist Church (a military missionary work in Okinawa).  I had been in the military for 5 years at that point and that was the first time I met people who professed to be Christians and actually lived it.  It was 6 months later when my husband agreed to check out this church.  When we arrived there, he counted how many people shook his hand.  Sixty people had shaken his hand that night and told him that they had been praying for our family for six months.  At the time, he had no idea what they were talking about.  We later learned that my co-workers put us on the church prayer list for salvation.  Two weeks later is when my husband got saved and God has done and continues to do a tremendous work in our lives. 
4.      How long have you been in the ministry?  Full-time ministry since May 2002; served an internship from May 2002 to May 2003; full-time deputation from June 2003 to October 2004; Missionaries to Sri Lanka from January 2005 to September 2007; Pastor’s wife at Calvary Baptist Church from March 2008 – present.
5.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?
My husband “surrendered” or answered the call into the gospel ministry 5 months after he was saved (September 1995).  We returned to the states in November of that year.  The week before my husband and I met, I re-enlisted into the Air Force for 6 more years.  We were transferred to Oklahoma City and became members of Southwest Baptist Church.  I followed the secular philosophy and I figured that I could continue my career while my husband did his thing.  It wasn’t until January of 1998, through the preaching of an Evangelist, where I surrendered my will to follow my husband in his calling.  A couple of months after that, Pastor Davison announced the possibility of Heartland Baptist Bible College coming to Oklahoma City.  My enlistment with the military would expire that September, which is when school started.  I knew without a doubt, that I had kept the doors shut for my family for 3 years because I was living my life and God and my family were secondary.  
6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership?  We’ve held positions through our time in the military, but for ministry, we were both 31.
7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?  Even though we were older, my husband looked and still looks young.  I never feel “ready,” not even now.  I just do my best to humbly submit to the Lord, trusting in His promise that He will equip us and enable us. 
8.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  I had the privilege to graduate from Heartland Baptist Bible College with my husband in 2002.  At the time, my kids were 11, 7, 4, and 1.  When we were interviewed for the internship in Indianapolis, I asked the Pastor what my responsibilities would be in the church.  His answer to me was that I was to be a godly wife, mother, and model Christian in the church.  I have to admit, I was a little disappointed since I, too, had just graduated.  During that year, I was so thankful for the Pastor’s wisdom and not placing specific demands on me in regards to the ministries there.  It gave me the flexibility I needed with young children and the focus was always to serve alongside my husband in whatever he needed. 
9.      What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a.      Baby…we rarely utilized babysitters and kept him with us when working with the Junior High kids during our internship (although, I didn’t hesitate to step back from the ministry if my baby or other kids had a need)
b.      Toddler…we were on deputation, so he was in church all of the time.
c.       School age/teens…singing, visiting, nursing home, tsunami relief work, nursery helper, teaching Junior Church and Patch the Pirate, church greeters, cleaning, some office work, song leading, preaching. 
10.  Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them?  I used to worry about it more when my older two were younger.  They all have experienced times of discouragement where I became concerned.  I am thankful for a godly husband who is a wonderful father to our children.  He purposes to take time to speak to them and listen to their struggles and uses the Bible to help them recognize God’s working through the trials.  We keep a close eye on the younger two, fully aware that they are just as susceptible to those feelings.  My husband regularly checks on them by asking them how they are doing or asks them how God has worked in their life. 
11.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry?  We were told by a Veteran Missionary once that he had to sacrifice his children in order to have the ministry he has.  My counsel would be to NEVER sacrifice your children for the sake of the ministry.  My first influence in ministry is to my children.  They watch and learn from the things we do and how we respond.  Our goal has always been to raise them to have their own, personal relationship with the Lord.  They need to know that God is real and that God will direct them as they learn to obey.  We have always stopped what we were doing to recognize when God provided a need or blessed our family.  We would always let the kids know that we needed to thank God for those blessings. 
12.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  No, I am definitely not “naturally” submissive.  You can figure that one out through my testimony.  I will say, that through many years and lots of conviction, the Lord has shown me and I am a lot better in that area.  I don’t ever want to be responsible for hindering what God wants to do through my husband.
13.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?  Continue to pray for him, talk with him, listen to him (and do my best to keep my feelings out of it).  Thankfully, we have never been discouraged at the same time! 
14.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? The Lord has given him a lot of wisdom from the Word of God and he is so much more able to handle those criticisms than I am so I let him deal with it, trusting that God will guide him.  I do, however, do my very best not to treat those involved any differently if I am aware of the criticisms.  I try to show them God’s love and longsuffering and do my best to keep my feelings and emotions out of it. 
15.  How do you deal with personal criticisms?  I examine myself and speak to my pastor/husband for guidance and do my best to make things right if I am in the wrong.  This is difficult for me because I would rather avoid a situation because I don’t like confrontation. 
16.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?  Not regularly, but we do have date nights and lunches.  We spend a lot of time together as a family.
17.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?  That it is the hardest and most demanding job I know of.  He, along with other Pastor’s carry a “burden” that only they understand.  The burden to handle the Word of God correctly and to “shepherd a flock” in order to minister to a needy people. 
18.   What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church?  He purposes to never put himself in a situation to be alone with another woman.  I warn him if I see things that present themselves as warning signs.  I stay close by if a woman speaks to him for any length of time.  We homeschool at the church so that I am always available if he has to make a visit to a lady or if a lady comes to the church for counseling. 
19.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily?  Not daily, but we do on many occasions listen to preaching CDs (from our home church) as a family and have discussed how God spoke to each of us through the preaching.  It has been through the preaching where God was able to minister to my family and help us through the trials and victories. 
20.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?  No, because he is my best friend and also my Pastor.  Now, there is a difference between sharing my burdens or just complaining.  I try not to do the latter because that does discourage him. 
21.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Pray, Read my Bible, practice the piano (I’m new at it, but it just gives me another opportunity to focus on the music and get some practice in…and get my frustrations out!)  J
22.  What is your favorite Scripture?  Romans 8:28 because it is TRUE!  I think about how God has changed my life.  I look at my son, Eric, that when I was pregnant would verbalize how I wished I could lose the baby because of my fears.  I see Eric now and am so blessed because God did make a bad situation in my life good.  Eric is 20 and just finished his first year in Bible College.
23.  Do you have a favorite song?  How Great Thou Art
24.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  Worrying about what others think.  Thankfully, my husband primarily worries about what God thinks!  Actually, he doesn’t “worry.”  That helps keep me straight. 
25.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church?  I’m still trying to figure that one out.  Depends what you mean by close.  I try to be friends with them all, although I have more in common with some than others.  I’ve reached out to all of them, but have found that some desire a closer relationship than others.  I, however, don’t share all of my feelings with any of them.  My husband is that friend for me.  
26.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife?  I try to be real, understanding that through my discouragements, my goal is still to glorify God.  So, even in discouragement (that they may see), I try to recognize and share with the ladies how God has helped me through the discouragement.
27.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  Of course!  I’m bad about timing and quickly restoring the relationship, but I will ask for forgiveness and seek reconciliation. 
28.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  No, I only “vent” or seek out counsel from my husband (in other words, I don’t personally call other ladies for that).  Now, I do take opportunity when the Lord sends Missionaries and Pastor’s wives our way, to ask them their experiences and testimony and to receive any counsel they have for me.  I’ve so appreciated the many lady ministry friends that God has given me.  
29.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you?  Serve God, be faithful to God.  That is the biggest encouragement!  They don’t have to do a thing for me.  If they do it for God, we all benefit!
30.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?  My least favorite is the piano!!!  Oh, sorry, that wasn’t the question.  J  My favorite is organizing ladies meetings, teaching kids.  I would love to one day host a lady’s retreat.  With help, of course!  I just know that as a lady, those types of ministries helped me when I needed it.
31.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships?  When we first came to Calvary, I started doing them once a month.  With homeschooling and other areas of ministry, I scaled it back to a few times a year primarily focusing on a Christmas Cookie Exchange and a Ladies Banquet or Tea in the Spring.  We host church Fellowship meals for our Missions Conference, Revival Meeting, Thanksgiving, and a few more throughout the year.
32.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church?  I ask and my husband asks from the pulpit.  When they do get involved, we do our best to show our appreciation for their help.
33.  What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children?  To love the Lord and do right according to the scriptures.  The Word of God has to be their standard, not man. 
34.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?  During the school year, my life seems more structured and I find it easier to do that in the morning.  It was nice as missionaries when we did school all year long!  As far as prayer, I do that several times throughout the day. 
35.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?  He’s still working on me!  I know that the ministry is a small part, the bigger part is that God is working on me and molding me! 
36.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? I wouldn’t because there isn’t one!  J  The “perfect” Pastor’s wife is one that knows she is not perfect! 

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