Mrs. Alyssa Farinella...wife of the week!

Husband’s Position- Pastor
How long have you been married? 8 years
How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? I have four boys. Elijah is 6. Grant is 4. Ethan is 2. Jackson is 9 months.
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? Short version of the story…we met at Heartland our first year. Long story…my home church in Michigan was his parents sending church (they started WoodinValley Baptist in Woodinville, WA over 25 years ago). So all growing up I heard my pastor read their monthly support letters and grew to LOVE the Farinella family! I adored his mother (Kathy Farinella) and wanted to be just like her when I got older. She was a bus kid at my home church and grew up with my mom in the youth department. Something even crazier was that Kathy caught the bouquet at my parent’s wedding! Who would have ever thought that their children would grow up and get married!
2. When did you get saved? When I was 10 years old
3. Can you share your testimony? I was raised in a Christian home, but a "broken" home. My parents were divorced when I was 6 weeks old. And that started the years of step dads, step moms, more divorce, separation…simply put, Chaos! But through all the turmoil at home, my mom ALWAYS kept me and my siblings in a good, Bible Believing Baptist church. Church became my haven. When I was 10 years old an evangelist came through and preached a revival. And on the last night, April 27, 1990, I went forward and my pastor led me to the Lord. I wish I could say my struggles stopped there. But it seemed like my struggles only started to intensify. I really started to doubt my salvation and continued to do so for over 25 years! I made multiple professions after that and kept battling for such a long time. God gave me the victory over my struggles, but it would take me 5 pages to write out all that happened over that time. I’m just thankful that God sent people my way to guide me down the right path and get false doctrine out of my head. My husband being the main source. I don’t know where I would be had not God sent him my way.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? 8 years. As soon as Matt and I got married, we were on staff at Bible Baptist Church in Stillwater, OK under Wayne Hardy. We were the mission interns. Then, God called us to Sammamish, WA to start a church. We just celebrated our 5th anniversary there.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? I surrendered to the Lord my first year of Bible College. But I didn’t know where or to what extent he would use me. Then, I met Matt and he knew he would be a pastor some day, so I knew in my heart that I would follow him anywhere. I have never struggled with trusting my husband’s leadership in regards to where God wants us. If he told me tomorrow we were going to move to Africa or some exotic place, I would follow him in a heartbeat. By no means am I saying that I haven’t had "trust" issues, especially with the lack of security in my home growing up. But for some reason, I never struggled with following Matt.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? 23
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel "ready" to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? Yes, it was a struggle at first. We were the "lowly interns" on staff for those first couple of years. And the youngest staff couple too. So I sometimes felt out of place. But God grew me so much those first couple of years in Stillwater. Matt and I call it our "Boot Camp" years. They were hard, but the best training we could have ever had!
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? In some ways yes, but in some ways no. I didn’t have much responsibility as an intern when I had my first son. Then we moved to Washington and started a church. Our church has been growing along with our family size! So more responsibility with the church has come along with more kiddos as well. At times it has gotten quite stressful, but my husband has always been good about watching the boys so I can go spend quality time with the ladies of the church when they need me.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby…Ummmm…they cleaned the floors of our church with their knees as they crawled around while we set up the chairs and prepared for church services
b. Toddler…They helped set up and tear down for church services each week…and they still do. We got them involved in that as soon as they could walk.
c. School age/teens…Elijah, my oldest, now takes the offering on Wednesday nights. Which he loves! Along with his other responsibilities of setting up each week.
10. Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? I am so blessed to have the husband that I do. He was raised in a wonderful Pastor’s home and his parents always told him and his siblings how serving the Lord is the greatest thing you could ever do with your life. They also never showed the negatives of being in the ministry. So, that philosophy rubbed off on Matt and he tries to do the same with our kids. Since Sundays are such long days and our kids don’t get much of our attention, once we get home at night, we always try to have pizza or some "fun" food and we have a family night. My boys LOVE to wrestle with their daddy, so they know that Sunday nights are just for them11.What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Watch what you say about church members and any frustrations you have. Your children don’t need to know the negative side of the ministry. We want our boys to look at the ministry as the greatest adventure you could ever have.
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? There are some things that I struggle with submitting to, but over all, I submit pretty easily. My husband knows me quite well and if I fight him on something, he knows that I will eventually come around. I’m stubborn.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Since he was raised in a church planters home, he was prepared for a lot of the ups and downs of the ministry already. So he really doesn’t get discouraged that much. But when he does, I just love on him.  I would go into more detail, but we have to keep this rated PG 14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Sadly, I haven’t always dealt with it gracefully. But I’m learning.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? I usually take it very personally and have had to learn to take those criticisms to the Lord. I try to learn from them.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? Yes, we try. But it is getting harder and harder to find babysitters for 4 boys!
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from "those" women in the church? I never let him be alone with any of them and when I notice them trying to get a little too close to him, I just try to spend more one on one time with them.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? No. but we do occasionally. We talk often about how God is working on both of our hearts.
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? No. Sometimes I fear that I share too much of my burdens. But he is my greatest encourager.
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Listen to godly music.
 22. What is your favorite Scripture? Lamentations 3:22, 23 "It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness."
23. Do you have a favorite song? "He’s Always Been Faithful To Me"
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? Loving the difficult people and trying not to show favoritism
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I have to be very careful with how much attention I give to each lady. But there are some that are easier to be around and I mix better with. But I try not to let that show.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can "show" that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the "perfect" happy Pastor’s wife? One thing that my ladies have said on multiple times is that they feel like I am "real" with them. So they see my down falls and my strengths. I try to show them that I am human just like they are.
27. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? Apologized as soon as I realized what I did and reassured them how much I love them.
28. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and "venting" purposes? Yes, and I thank God for them!
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Understand that I’m a mother of 4 boys and I won’t always have time to meet their every need. And for them to understand that on Sundays I can’t always give any one person my undivided attention. It’s nice to have ladies that aren’t easily offended.
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? singing
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? Once a month Ladies Bible Study in my home. And then I have a ladies getaway each September. We rent a beach house and fly in a special speaker for 3 days.
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I just approach them personally if a need or hole needs to be filled.
33. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? Of course I want them to love God with all their heart. But since I have all boys, I want to be the type of woman that they would want to marry when they get older.
34. In all of your busyess, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? Every day is different. Sometimes it is first thing in the morning depending on how long the kids sleep in. Sometimes it is during their nap time. Sometimes it is right before I go to bed.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? People aren’t perfect. But neither are we. 36. How would you describe the "perfect" Pastor’s wife? I really hope there isn’t a "perfect" pastor’s wife. Because if there was I would probably compare myself to her and feel like I fail miserably! But if there was, I would say she would have to be totally and completely captivated by her Savior. Matt’s mom wasn’t perfect, but she had a walk with God like no other! Every night, no matter what, she would have her quiet time with the Lord. Matt said that even if the whole family was having a fun night together and enjoying eachother’s company, his mom would dismiss herself and go spend time with the Lord. She never missed. She even built a praying altar in her back yard. That was her special place to get alone with God. He was her very best friend. Even on her death bed, she had such joy and peace. I couldn’t get over how I didn’t see sadness in her eyes or any type of fear of dying. She couldn’t wait to meet her Savior. If I could know God the way she knew God, that would be my greatest desire.

Mrs. Loretta Donnelly-Wife of the Week!

Husband’s Position-Pastor

How long have you been married? 23 years

How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? we have 3 boys ages 22, 20, & 18

1. Where/How did you meet your husband? I met my husband at church

2. When did you get saved? 2003

3. Can you share your testimony? I was raised in a Christian home and thought I had accepted Christ when I was 6 years old. I realized in 2003 during revival meetings that I had a head knowledge of salvation, but I had doubts about whether I had ever truly applied it to my heart. It was at that time that I asked Christ to save me.

4. How long have you been in the ministry? My husband has been in the Pastorate 4 years, but prior to that we served as the head in a printing ministry and were youth leaders for 14 years.

5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? I guess when he called my husband I realized he wanted me in ministry too because I believe when you marry you become one with your spouse. It wasn’t hard for me to submit because I knew he had been calling my husband for a long time and my husband had not submitted. I could see how miserable it was making so it was kind of a relief to have him submit and have peace with God and the true happiness that can be found in doing the Lord’s will.

6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? 21

7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I think it is a little difficult to have a position of authority at a young age because you are used to being told what to do instead of telling others or leading them in what they should be doing. As far as respect is concerned I think that has to be earned at any age. I think if you are willing to respect others and be kind and considerate in the way you treat them you will get the respect you deserve. I have had the experience of receiving respect from a person older than myself sometimes easier than I receive the respect of someone my own age.

8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? When my children were young my husband was not in the pastorate, but we were very involved in heading up the printing ministry in our church. I home schooled my children when they were young and sometimes it was hard to be as involved as much as I wanted to. I often struggled with trying to figure out ways I could help my husband more in the ministry. As the children got older we started involving them and that helped.

9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a. Baby… not in the pastorate yet and difficult for them to get very involved in the printing ministry other than sitting in a car seat and watching

b. Toddler… In the printing ministry We had them carry stacks of paper, box up finished product with us and they would help us clean up.

c. School age/teens… In the printing ministry our oldest son would help my husband trim Scriptures and my husband taught him how to operate the printing presses. They all collated Scripture portions with us. In the pastorate they take offering, do special music, lead singing, clean the church, mow lawns, help with shoveling and basically do whatever else needs doing.

10. Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? Because my husband went into the pastorate when they were teenagers that was a concern for me. We try to get them involved as much as possible and because we planted the church and don’t have any kids their ages we talked with our Pastor and he graciously allows them to attend all of our home churches activities.

11. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Show your children the importance of loving the Lord, be a Godly example and NEVER let them hear you speak negatively of the ministry.

12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? I am by nature a leader, but because we entered the pastorate many years after we were married and also after we had served in another ministry for so many years I have learned how to be a follower where my husband is concerned.

13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?I often talk to him about how far we have come with the church. We also often share our burden for the people of Sidney, NY with each other. It is easy to become discourage when you look out on others and their circumstances instead of looking up and concentrating on what God has called you to do. So in light of that when I know my husband is facing discouragement I pray, pray, pray.

14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? fortunately so far we have not really faced that in the pastorate. I hope if that were to happen I could be kind hearted towards the person and gently remind them that we are all human and make mistakes and that that even includes Pastors. I then would advise them to talk to my husband if they feel he is doing something wrong or unfair.

15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? Have not had to deal with that a lot either, but when I am criticized I try to take a deep look at myself and see if there is justification for the criticism. If there is I try to make the necessary changes if it something I need to change if not I try to just shrug it off and go on.

16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? We do try, but with him working full time as well as pasturing the church sometimes it is tricky.

17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? To try to be positive and encourage him instead of letting things take a negative turn and becoming a discouragement to him. After all discouragement is one of the leading reasons people fail in the ministry and I want him where God has called him to be.

18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I think we as women generally know if a women has the wrong ideas by their, actions, dress, etc. so when I see cause for concern I let him know and he is very good at keeping himself away from bad situations.

19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? We have at times, but right now that is not the case. With his full-time job and pasturing we find it difficult to get that time together daily. It does bother me some that we don’t and sometimes I think we should try harder to make the time.

20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes, I guess sometimes I do. I try to think things through so that I can present them in a more positive light. Sometimes that is not easy to do and when I share a burden with him and it upsets him sometime I feel bad and wish I had kept it to myself. However there are things that he just has to know.

21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? I have started a ladies Bible study at our church on Friday mornings. It is a very relaxed setting we have refreshments, share prayer request, study God’s Word and just take time to fellowship one with another. I feel it has brought me closer with the ladies in the church. I have seen them beginning to grow in many areas and it just plain encourages me.

22. What is your favorite Scripture? Proverbs 3:5&6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

23. Do you have a favorite song? I love music especially southern gospel. Not the contemporary type but real southern gospel. Rodney Griffin is one of my favorite song writers because His songs always convey a wonderful message.

24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? PATIENCE !!! I struggle with waiting on the Lord for growth in the church.

25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I try to befriend all of my ladies. I think as far as having someone to share burdens with you have to be careful and it might be wiser to choose another pastor’s wife.

26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I think it is important to share all kinds of feelings with them. They need to see that you are human. If you want your ladies to come to you when they are struggling they need to see that you struggle to. Otherwise they might feel you just wouldn’t understand.

27. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? I haven’t had this happen in a big way that I know of, but if I have felt someone was upset with me I have tried to go to them and apologize and make things right.

28. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? I do and I think we all need to after all if we’re going to be able to encourage our ladies we to get encouragement from someone.

29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? I think their faithfulness is the biggest encouragement. I have a couple of “huggers” in my church and a hug always encourages me as well.

30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I think my Ladies Bible study is my favorite and I also really enjoy teaching the children and music.

31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? Yes

32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I have just started having them help me plan church dinners during our Ladies Bible study. We have an “older” group of ladies so it is very hard for them to get involved in a lot of the physical work.

33. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? A genuine love for the Lord and a willingness to serve him in any capacity.

34. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? No laughing, but I do my prayer time in the tub. My husband laughs because he says the longer my list grows the longer my bath takes,

35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? To wait upon the Lord because it is His ministry not mine!

36. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? There are no perfect Pastor’s wives. I think We have to strive to do all that the Lord has given us to do, keep the right attitude and Love the Lord with all of our heart. Thank God He loves us with all of our imperfections.

On Having Children....from a Mama of Many=)

I asked my friend Tammy if I could steal her blog post so I could share it with you! She is the wife of a missionary to Guatemala and a mother to 7 (almost 8!) beautiful children. I read this post and just loved it. Read this with an open heart and you will be blessed!

"Weddings, Having Babies, and Eternal Rewards..."

By:Tammy Coates

 http://thispilgrimage.blogspot.com/

       I looked at some pictures of a Mormon wedding today online, and something that really struck me about it was that there were SO many children in the pictures of the extended family. Their family is large and beautiful, and children are clearly welcome. It made me think sober thoughts about how the Enemy has lied to true believers about the importance, the value, the *necessity* of children. Those who have the true Gospel have, unfortunately, bought into his lies. In fact, some of our most respected teachers and preachers actually counsel young couples to hold off having children, and then be careful to "space them out". And those are the couples who are actually planning to have any children at all.

      We have forfeited God's long-term blessings in favor of short-term convenience, or so that we can have more luxuries, or the designer "one of each" kind of family. We've lost sight of the eternal, and fixed our eyes (and affections) on the temporal. How far removed we are from the godly men and women of Bible times who begged God to bless them with children, who rejoiced to see them born, who blessed young brides of the next generation with a blessing of fruitfulness!

"Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways... Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table." {Psalm 128:1,3}

"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it." {Genesis 1:28}

"And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people." {Genesis 28:3}

"And I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all countries whither I have driven them, and will bring them again to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase." {Jeremiah 23:3}

"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." {Psalm 127:3-5}

Do we believe that the fruit of the womb is His reward? Really? If we believed that, then would we be counseling young couples to prevent pregnancies? The fact is that Christians today have an unbiblical view on childbirth and family planning. We've accepted the world's philosophy on it, while other groups.. cults.. (not just Mormons) are multiplying and teaching their young their false doctrines, raising up a healthy generation of hell-bound zealots. And we look around us, bewildered at their sheer numbers, wondering how we'll ever be able to win them all to the Lord.

Well, the answer to that dilemma is right in our homes.

       The fact is that YOU can't win that many people to the Lord in your lifetime. It's impossible. You will only be able to reach a limited number of people, and that's it. Meanwhile, people continue to be born, grow up without being taught the truth, and will likely, eventually, die lost. Will your influence only extend to the end of your life? Not if you have a whole passel of children, and train them up to walk in the ways of the Lord! I challenge you to do this:

1) Rethink your philosophy about childbearing and family planning. Does it line up with Scripture? Do you see large families as being abundantly blessed, or as unfortunate souls who perhaps haven't figured out "what causes that"?

2) Realize that children really are a blessing from the Lord, and treat them as such. Do not balk at the woman in your church who is "pregnant AGAIN??", and instead bless her with words of affirmation and joy. (Check out Luke 1:42!)

3) Encourage the young mother who is tired, who wonders if it's all worth it, who just had a baby and needs the support of others while she is resting. Give her the support she needs, lest she get discouraged and decide in her heart that this one's the last one, because she can't take anymore.

4) If you are married, of childbearing age, and you are physically able to have children, pray about taking your hands off the controls and allowing God to open and close the womb according to His will.

     I have never heard anyone say they regret having a child, but I have heard many regrets from people who wish they would have had more. "Father, give us YOUR heart attitude about children!"

***This post is not intended to hurt those who cannot have children, nor to cause distress to those who could have, did not, and now it is too late. To those brothers and sisters, I say now is your opportunity to encourage the next generation to welcome children, and bless them with your words, your love and support!*** -Tammy Coates

Mrs. Lindsay Harris...Wife of the Week

Husband’s Position- Associate/Youth Pastor at Victory Baptist In Talihina, OK

How long have you been married? 8 years

How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? Matthew 7 and Madisyn 3

1.      Where/How did you meet your husband?  We grew up in the same church at Central Baptist in Ponca City, OK/ We were in the youth department together

2.      When did you get saved? August of 2000

3.      Can you share your testimony?  I grew up in church and had made a profession of faith when I was younger but not until August of 2000 did I make Jesus the Lord of my life.  We were in Teen Time with Bro. Schuyler and all I could think about while he was teaching is “I am not saved”.  After Teen Time was over I took a youth worker by the hand and asked if they would pray with me and I accepted Jesus as my Personal Lord and Savior.  It was a huge burden lifted off my shoulders because I had pretended for so long.  I am so glad that the Lord doesn’t give up on us.  That same year my husband and I started courting and a few years later he proposed on July 4^th 2002.  I was still in high school and he was attending Heartland Baptist Bible College, I knew that is where the Lord wanted me to attend when I was through with high school.  Well, May came around and I was fixing to graduated in a few days when my dad was life flighted to KU Med and a few days later he went to be with the Lord, this was on May 21^st, 2003.  I went back home and graduated May 23, 2003 and then Danny and I got married May 31, 2003 and went to OKC to start college that fall.  I tell you all this to tell you how good God is and how He knows best.  God has shown His hand through all this and it has made me a stronger person and has allowed me to help many others already in my short time in the ministry.  Now we are in a small town with very loving people who want to serve the Lord and God has blessed us with 2 great children that are growing way to fast.  God is good All the time.

4.      How long have you been in the ministry? 7

5.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?

I was at Sagmount in Joplin, MO and that week at camp I surrendered my life into full time service.  I just knew that the Lord would show me when and where He would have me to serve in His time

6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 20 and He was 23

7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?  I was young and felt that I didn’t feel I was qualified to be in that position.  Some did not take us seriously but most did.  We didn’t really worry about it to much because we knew God wanted us here.

8.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  I do about the same…I have wonderful ladies and teens who help out a lot

9.      What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby… took them everywhere with us

b.      Toddler…the same but we left them with our preacher and his wife when we went on youth activities

c.       School age/teens…Matthew will sing with me and they both help clean the pews before church and get the offering baskets and shake peoples hands

10.  Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them?  I have at times but we pray that the Lord will watch over them and help us to train them in His ways.

11.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Your husband and your children are your first ministry

12.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? No but I am learning with God’s grace and guidance

13.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Tell him how much I love him and pray for him

14.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? I have to hand it over to the Lord.

15.  How do you deal with personal criticisms?  I try and examine myself and pray about the matter in which they are criticizing and if I need to change something I ask the Lord for help.  I know I can’t do it on my own.

16.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? We spend as much time as we can together as a family

17.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? He has a great responsibility.

18.   What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? Praise the Lord we have not had to deal with this.

19.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? We have family devotions together with our kids

20.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? No he is my best friend and he is good to listen.

21.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord?  SING

22.  What is your favorite Scripture? Proverbs 15:1

23.  Do you have a favorite song? I have been blessed

24.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  My attitude at times

25.  Do you find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? We are in a very friendly church so no I do not find that hard

26.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife?  I feel I can show my feelings to some point…they understand I am only human too

27.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? When I offend someone I pray and ask God for forgiveness first and then I go and apologize to them and ask for forgiveness. 

28.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  Yes and I love them dearly

29.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Love my family

30.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? Singing

31.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? We go to Ladies Meetings that other churches put on

32.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? By letting them know that we appreciate it and they are a huge help because no one can do it alone. 

33.  What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? To love the Lord with all their heart and to let them know how much the Lord loves them

34.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? It is most convenient for me at night

35.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? Put god first

36.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? One who puts God first

"The Good Part"

     The time has come....SCHOOL!!! yes, already. Tomorrow Selah begins 2nd grade! I am not starting anything with my other 3. Joy is just about 8 weeks, Ellie, 18 mo, and Sam just turned 3. The first week of September Sam will be starting Pre-K! He will be going to the same program Selah went to 2 years ago and he has the same teacher, who I really like. His class will be from 8am-10:30am every day, which is when I am "planning" on doing school with Selah. So earlier bedtimes and more scheduled nap times are in my near future=)
    Another thing we are wanting to get more scheduled with is our family devotions. We have been slacking big time! I am sure you all know how it \is! You get convicted about not having family devotions, so you start them. The first night you sing like 5 songs, do a great lesson, prayer request time, and maybe you even throw in a craft!! Then after even a few more days like that you cut out the craft, the songs, and most of the lesson....and in the end, you end up with a short goodnight prayer. The same pattern seems to go with Bible reading, prayer, dieting, and exercising, the way we raise our children...you know, ALL of the things we need and things that are important to the Lord!
WHY in the world is it soooo hard to be consistent? Why do we have such a hard time denying ourselves in order to do more to please the Lord? For example, devotions!  After making and eating dinner I do dishes, and clean up the house from the crazy day, and I am exhausted! Then you have to get all of the kids cleaned up and ready for bed, and then clean up all of the mess you made doing that. All this after a day of diaper changing, feeding babies, preparing meals and snacks, cleaning up along the way, laundry, dishes, errands, school, whining, fighting, etc. etc.(you know the drill!)....and it is very hard to want to then have devotions....by then I just want everyone in their beds sleeping!
    How selfish can I be!? really. It is a shame that I would rather just say a quick prayer with my kids so I can go plop on the couch and eat junk food (which is a whole other subject all together!!!) and watch tv (another subject, lol) so I can "relax", over wanting to spend quality time with my children by teaching them God's Word and filling their little minds and hearts with thoughts of Him before they lay down to sleep. It makes me sad to look at where my priorities have been lately. I think of the words Jesus spoke.....
 ⁴⁰But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
 ⁴¹And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
 ⁴²But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
     And while I want to pass down to my daughters the art of homemaking ,and taking good care of your home, family, and husband, I want even more to pass down to them, and to my son, the "good part". How can I do that if all they see me doing is things around the house all day, then saying a quick prayer and putting them to bed without ever really taking the time to share God's actual Word with them. I will say that I do use the entire day to teach them about the Lord by little comments I make here and there and when they are being corrected, but I want to develop in them a hunger for His Word and I want them to know all of the wonderful promises that can be found in it. 
     I have always struggled with consistency in this area, and as I look back on our family devotions as kids, they were very inconsistent. I do not want my children to struggle with that. I want to teach them to make this a priority, not just a habit, but something they love, and a time they look forward to each day. I don't want them to feel like they can go to sleep until they have had that special time.
    Anyways, just one thing I have been convicted about lately...among many others! God has richly blessed me with these 4 beautiful babies, and I so want to mold them into servants of His. I do not ever want them to resent us, or the ministry, or especially the Lord! My husband feels the same way I do, and I am so thankful for a man that is willing to lead His family for the Lord. I feel for those mommies who do not have a Godly husband who can lead their family in a devotional time.
     But also, let me encourage you mommies who are in that situation, keep it up! If your husband is not leading the children in the ways of the Lord, step up and do it yourself!! Even some "christian" husbands do not think it is important, and in turn the wife just gets bitter and resentful thinking about what the husband "should" be doing, and she neglects to have this special time with her children.....just DO IT! Someone needs to step up and train the children that nothing is more important than having a personal, meaningful relationship with Jesus. When he sees that you are making an effort to make this your priority, he'll eventually feel convicted and step up! Just keep praying fot the Lord to change his heart.
     Well, anyways, we did devotions last night. My husband wasn't home, but the kids and I sang a couple of songs, read a Psalm, and a story in their kid's devotional. I felt so good when they went to bed. Even better than I feel when there is not a dirty dish in the sink, and the house is clean....I am slowly learning, "the good part" and praying I can pass this down to my precious children.
  

Mrs. Nancy Smith "Wife of the Week"

Husband’s Position- Pastor of Buckley Road Baptist Church

How long have you been married?  37 years

How many children do you have? How old are they?  3 sons: 34, 33, 30.

1.      Where/How did you meet your husband? Baptist Bible College in Springfield, MO

2.      When did you get saved?  Just before my 16^th birthday

3.      Can you share your testimony?  After giving my parents much grief my mother decided that they should take me to church.  We had no idea where we were going, but as we were driving around Detroit, we saw a sign that pointed to Ryan Road Baptist Church, so that’s where we went.  It was a strong independent fundamental soul-winning church.  After a few weeks of going and being convicted of my sin, while I was at home alone in my bedroom I asked God if he was real.  I flipped through a Bible looking for Him to answer.  This was the year 1970, so the word “Peace” caught my eye in John 14:27.  “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be trouble, neither let it be afraid.”  Wow! That spoke to my heart.  That is exactly what I needed.  It was just like my eyes were opened and I knew God was real.  I prayed and asked him to forgive me for not believing and for all I’d done against Him.  I knew immediately that He had forgiven me, but hadn’t learned the terminology that I was now “saved.”  I went to school the next day, so happy, telling everyone I believed in God.  The next Sunday when I went to church I saw the tract,
God’s Simple Plan of Salvation.  I was so happy to know then that I was saved and could tell others.  I couldn’t do enough for God and surrendered to the ministry.

4.      How long have you been in the ministry? 36 years

5.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry?  Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? It was my heart’s desire and God gave me complete peace with that decision.  When times got tough, I always knew it wasn’t a choice for me to make.

6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 20 and my husband was 21.

7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? I felt very ready.  Lacked maturity, but made up for it in enthusiasm.

8.      Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?  I always looked much younger, so people didn’t always take me seriously.  My husband had somewhat the same experience when we first started out.

9.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  My husband would not ever allow the children/babies to hinder us.  They were brought along and involved with anything we did.  They were always part of the ministry.

10.  What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby-I worked a lot in the nursery

b.      Toddler-I started a toddler church program at the church we were youth directors at.

c.       School age/teens- visitation, pro teen program, choir and playing instruments.

11.  Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them?  I believe the parent’s attitude about the ministry has the most impact.  We would be doing the same thing if we weren’t in the ministry.  Having missionaries/evangelists in our home was a special treat for the kids and I loved it when the missionaries/evangelists would spend time with the children and make them feel special.  Many people in the church would show special attention to the kids too, so that made it fun.

12.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry?  Never discuss problems or let your children hear negative things about the church members.  Keep a positive attitude that God will work all things out.   And He does!

13.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  I guess I always thought I was, but as I look back I know there was room for improvement.  We both have a strong leadership drive, but mostly we are on the same page.

14.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Pray for him and just let him talk through it.  We have lots of long talks together and that encourages both of us.

15.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Makes me mad, but I know the best thing to do is just try to love and pray for that person.  I know that God will take care of the situation in His time.  He always does.

16.  How do you deal with personal criticisms?  When I was younger it would bother me.  Now that I’m older I realize the only person that really matters is what my husband thinks.  I do try to see if there is any validation to what they are saying and “fix it” if I feel the need.  There will always be someone to criticize you. 

17.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?  We’ve been empty nesters for some time now, but we always look for fun things to do together whenever we are together.

18.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?  Let them do what they feel God wants them to do and always be a support.  That means being very flexible.  Plans change quickly and it’s just better to go with the flow.

19.   What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? My husband does a great job of staying above reproach.

20.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? Not every day.

21.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?  Not anymore.  He is a good listener and most times has the best advice.

22.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Read the Bible.  When I ask for encouragement, He gives it to me through the Scriptures.

23.  What is your favorite Scripture?  John 14:27

24.  Do you have a favorite song?  It is Well

25.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  Ministering to negative people.  I don’t like to be around negative people.

26.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church?  I think it’s harder when you are younger because there may be more jealously among the younger women.  I have lots of kinds of friends in the church.  I try to do things with all the ladies.  Some of the older officer’s wives are my best friends. 

27.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife?  You better let your ladies know you are a real person.  If you can’t cry at church when you need to and be real, your ladies won’t be able to relate to you.  Let them see how God can work in your life.

28.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  Own up to your mistakes.  Ask for forgiveness and go the extra mile to “fix it.”  You will gain a friend and make strong bonds with your ladies.  Those that resist will move on.

29.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  A few of my best friends are pastor’s wives.  They are always encouraging and loving.  They give the best advice.

30.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you?  Ask about my children.

31.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?  I love to teach ladies, teach sign language, head up Ladies in ministry outreaches and interpret for the Deaf.

32.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships?  Ladies Missionary Outreach

33.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church?  To minister in whatever gift God has given them.  I like to help them find out their gifts.

34.  What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? Just to keep serving the Lord no matter what happens in this world.

35.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?  How can He not be in everything I do?

36.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?  Just to love people.  Many people are disgruntled because they are not happy with themselves.  Insecurities can be displayed in many different forms.  Showing God’s love goes a long way!

37.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife?  Being the kind of wife that her husband needs.