Mrs. Nancy Smith "Wife of the Week"

Husband’s Position- Pastor of Buckley Road Baptist Church

How long have you been married?  37 years

How many children do you have? How old are they?  3 sons: 34, 33, 30.

1.      Where/How did you meet your husband? Baptist Bible College in Springfield, MO

2.      When did you get saved?  Just before my 16^th birthday

3.      Can you share your testimony?  After giving my parents much grief my mother decided that they should take me to church.  We had no idea where we were going, but as we were driving around Detroit, we saw a sign that pointed to Ryan Road Baptist Church, so that’s where we went.  It was a strong independent fundamental soul-winning church.  After a few weeks of going and being convicted of my sin, while I was at home alone in my bedroom I asked God if he was real.  I flipped through a Bible looking for Him to answer.  This was the year 1970, so the word “Peace” caught my eye in John 14:27.  “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be trouble, neither let it be afraid.”  Wow! That spoke to my heart.  That is exactly what I needed.  It was just like my eyes were opened and I knew God was real.  I prayed and asked him to forgive me for not believing and for all I’d done against Him.  I knew immediately that He had forgiven me, but hadn’t learned the terminology that I was now “saved.”  I went to school the next day, so happy, telling everyone I believed in God.  The next Sunday when I went to church I saw the tract,
God’s Simple Plan of Salvation.  I was so happy to know then that I was saved and could tell others.  I couldn’t do enough for God and surrendered to the ministry.

4.      How long have you been in the ministry? 36 years

5.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry?  Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? It was my heart’s desire and God gave me complete peace with that decision.  When times got tough, I always knew it wasn’t a choice for me to make.

6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 20 and my husband was 21.

7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? I felt very ready.  Lacked maturity, but made up for it in enthusiasm.

8.      Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?  I always looked much younger, so people didn’t always take me seriously.  My husband had somewhat the same experience when we first started out.

9.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  My husband would not ever allow the children/babies to hinder us.  They were brought along and involved with anything we did.  They were always part of the ministry.

10.  What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby-I worked a lot in the nursery

b.      Toddler-I started a toddler church program at the church we were youth directors at.

c.       School age/teens- visitation, pro teen program, choir and playing instruments.

11.  Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them?  I believe the parent’s attitude about the ministry has the most impact.  We would be doing the same thing if we weren’t in the ministry.  Having missionaries/evangelists in our home was a special treat for the kids and I loved it when the missionaries/evangelists would spend time with the children and make them feel special.  Many people in the church would show special attention to the kids too, so that made it fun.

12.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry?  Never discuss problems or let your children hear negative things about the church members.  Keep a positive attitude that God will work all things out.   And He does!

13.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  I guess I always thought I was, but as I look back I know there was room for improvement.  We both have a strong leadership drive, but mostly we are on the same page.

14.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Pray for him and just let him talk through it.  We have lots of long talks together and that encourages both of us.

15.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Makes me mad, but I know the best thing to do is just try to love and pray for that person.  I know that God will take care of the situation in His time.  He always does.

16.  How do you deal with personal criticisms?  When I was younger it would bother me.  Now that I’m older I realize the only person that really matters is what my husband thinks.  I do try to see if there is any validation to what they are saying and “fix it” if I feel the need.  There will always be someone to criticize you. 

17.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?  We’ve been empty nesters for some time now, but we always look for fun things to do together whenever we are together.

18.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?  Let them do what they feel God wants them to do and always be a support.  That means being very flexible.  Plans change quickly and it’s just better to go with the flow.

19.   What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? My husband does a great job of staying above reproach.

20.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? Not every day.

21.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?  Not anymore.  He is a good listener and most times has the best advice.

22.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Read the Bible.  When I ask for encouragement, He gives it to me through the Scriptures.

23.  What is your favorite Scripture?  John 14:27

24.  Do you have a favorite song?  It is Well

25.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  Ministering to negative people.  I don’t like to be around negative people.

26.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church?  I think it’s harder when you are younger because there may be more jealously among the younger women.  I have lots of kinds of friends in the church.  I try to do things with all the ladies.  Some of the older officer’s wives are my best friends. 

27.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife?  You better let your ladies know you are a real person.  If you can’t cry at church when you need to and be real, your ladies won’t be able to relate to you.  Let them see how God can work in your life.

28.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  Own up to your mistakes.  Ask for forgiveness and go the extra mile to “fix it.”  You will gain a friend and make strong bonds with your ladies.  Those that resist will move on.

29.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  A few of my best friends are pastor’s wives.  They are always encouraging and loving.  They give the best advice.

30.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you?  Ask about my children.

31.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?  I love to teach ladies, teach sign language, head up Ladies in ministry outreaches and interpret for the Deaf.

32.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships?  Ladies Missionary Outreach

33.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church?  To minister in whatever gift God has given them.  I like to help them find out their gifts.

34.  What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? Just to keep serving the Lord no matter what happens in this world.

35.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?  How can He not be in everything I do?

36.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?  Just to love people.  Many people are disgruntled because they are not happy with themselves.  Insecurities can be displayed in many different forms.  Showing God’s love goes a long way!

37.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife?  Being the kind of wife that her husband needs.