Husband’s Position-Pastor
How long have you been married? 23 years
How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? we have 3 boys ages 22, 20, & 18
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? I met my husband at church
2. When did you get saved? 2003
3. Can you share your testimony? I was raised in a Christian home and thought I had accepted Christ when I was 6 years old. I realized in 2003 during revival meetings that I had a head knowledge of salvation, but I had doubts about whether I had ever truly applied it to my heart. It was at that time that I asked Christ to save me.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? My husband has been in the Pastorate 4 years, but prior to that we served as the head in a printing ministry and were youth leaders for 14 years.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? I guess when he called my husband I realized he wanted me in ministry too because I believe when you marry you become one with your spouse. It wasn’t hard for me to submit because I knew he had been calling my husband for a long time and my husband had not submitted. I could see how miserable it was making so it was kind of a relief to have him submit and have peace with God and the true happiness that can be found in doing the Lord’s will.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? 21
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I think it is a little difficult to have a position of authority at a young age because you are used to being told what to do instead of telling others or leading them in what they should be doing. As far as respect is concerned I think that has to be earned at any age. I think if you are willing to respect others and be kind and considerate in the way you treat them you will get the respect you deserve. I have had the experience of receiving respect from a person older than myself sometimes easier than I receive the respect of someone my own age.
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? When my children were young my husband was not in the pastorate, but we were very involved in heading up the printing ministry in our church. I home schooled my children when they were young and sometimes it was hard to be as involved as much as I wanted to. I often struggled with trying to figure out ways I could help my husband more in the ministry. As the children got older we started involving them and that helped.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby… not in the pastorate yet and difficult for them to get very involved in the printing ministry other than sitting in a car seat and watching
b. Toddler… In the printing ministry We had them carry stacks of paper, box up finished product with us and they would help us clean up.
c. School age/teens… In the printing ministry our oldest son would help my husband trim Scriptures and my husband taught him how to operate the printing presses. They all collated Scripture portions with us. In the pastorate they take offering, do special music, lead singing, clean the church, mow lawns, help with shoveling and basically do whatever else needs doing.
10. Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? Because my husband went into the pastorate when they were teenagers that was a concern for me. We try to get them involved as much as possible and because we planted the church and don’t have any kids their ages we talked with our Pastor and he graciously allows them to attend all of our home churches activities.
11. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Show your children the importance of loving the Lord, be a Godly example and NEVER let them hear you speak negatively of the ministry.
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? I am by nature a leader, but because we entered the pastorate many years after we were married and also after we had served in another ministry for so many years I have learned how to be a follower where my husband is concerned.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?I often talk to him about how far we have come with the church. We also often share our burden for the people of Sidney, NY with each other. It is easy to become discourage when you look out on others and their circumstances instead of looking up and concentrating on what God has called you to do. So in light of that when I know my husband is facing discouragement I pray, pray, pray.
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? fortunately so far we have not really faced that in the pastorate. I hope if that were to happen I could be kind hearted towards the person and gently remind them that we are all human and make mistakes and that that even includes Pastors. I then would advise them to talk to my husband if they feel he is doing something wrong or unfair.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? Have not had to deal with that a lot either, but when I am criticized I try to take a deep look at myself and see if there is justification for the criticism. If there is I try to make the necessary changes if it something I need to change if not I try to just shrug it off and go on.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? We do try, but with him working full time as well as pasturing the church sometimes it is tricky.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? To try to be positive and encourage him instead of letting things take a negative turn and becoming a discouragement to him. After all discouragement is one of the leading reasons people fail in the ministry and I want him where God has called him to be.
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I think we as women generally know if a women has the wrong ideas by their, actions, dress, etc. so when I see cause for concern I let him know and he is very good at keeping himself away from bad situations.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? We have at times, but right now that is not the case. With his full-time job and pasturing we find it difficult to get that time together daily. It does bother me some that we don’t and sometimes I think we should try harder to make the time.
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes, I guess sometimes I do. I try to think things through so that I can present them in a more positive light. Sometimes that is not easy to do and when I share a burden with him and it upsets him sometime I feel bad and wish I had kept it to myself. However there are things that he just has to know.
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? I have started a ladies Bible study at our church on Friday mornings. It is a very relaxed setting we have refreshments, share prayer request, study God’s Word and just take time to fellowship one with another. I feel it has brought me closer with the ladies in the church. I have seen them beginning to grow in many areas and it just plain encourages me.
22. What is your favorite Scripture? Proverbs 3:5&6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
23. Do you have a favorite song? I love music especially southern gospel. Not the contemporary type but real southern gospel. Rodney Griffin is one of my favorite song writers because His songs always convey a wonderful message.
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? PATIENCE !!! I struggle with waiting on the Lord for growth in the church.
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I try to befriend all of my ladies. I think as far as having someone to share burdens with you have to be careful and it might be wiser to choose another pastor’s wife.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I think it is important to share all kinds of feelings with them. They need to see that you are human. If you want your ladies to come to you when they are struggling they need to see that you struggle to. Otherwise they might feel you just wouldn’t understand.
27. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? I haven’t had this happen in a big way that I know of, but if I have felt someone was upset with me I have tried to go to them and apologize and make things right.
28. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? I do and I think we all need to after all if we’re going to be able to encourage our ladies we to get encouragement from someone.
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? I think their faithfulness is the biggest encouragement. I have a couple of “huggers” in my church and a hug always encourages me as well.
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I think my Ladies Bible study is my favorite and I also really enjoy teaching the children and music.
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? Yes
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I have just started having them help me plan church dinners during our Ladies Bible study. We have an “older” group of ladies so it is very hard for them to get involved in a lot of the physical work.
33. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? A genuine love for the Lord and a willingness to serve him in any capacity.
34. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? No laughing, but I do my prayer time in the tub. My husband laughs because he says the longer my list grows the longer my bath takes,
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? To wait upon the Lord because it is His ministry not mine!
36. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? There are no perfect Pastor’s wives. I think We have to strive to do all that the Lord has given us to do, keep the right attitude and Love the Lord with all of our heart. Thank God He loves us with all of our imperfections.
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