Mrs. Alyssa Farinella...wife of the week!

Husband’s Position- Pastor
How long have you been married? 8 years
How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? I have four boys. Elijah is 6. Grant is 4. Ethan is 2. Jackson is 9 months.
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? Short version of the story…we met at Heartland our first year. Long story…my home church in Michigan was his parents sending church (they started WoodinValley Baptist in Woodinville, WA over 25 years ago). So all growing up I heard my pastor read their monthly support letters and grew to LOVE the Farinella family! I adored his mother (Kathy Farinella) and wanted to be just like her when I got older. She was a bus kid at my home church and grew up with my mom in the youth department. Something even crazier was that Kathy caught the bouquet at my parent’s wedding! Who would have ever thought that their children would grow up and get married!
2. When did you get saved? When I was 10 years old
3. Can you share your testimony? I was raised in a Christian home, but a "broken" home. My parents were divorced when I was 6 weeks old. And that started the years of step dads, step moms, more divorce, separation…simply put, Chaos! But through all the turmoil at home, my mom ALWAYS kept me and my siblings in a good, Bible Believing Baptist church. Church became my haven. When I was 10 years old an evangelist came through and preached a revival. And on the last night, April 27, 1990, I went forward and my pastor led me to the Lord. I wish I could say my struggles stopped there. But it seemed like my struggles only started to intensify. I really started to doubt my salvation and continued to do so for over 25 years! I made multiple professions after that and kept battling for such a long time. God gave me the victory over my struggles, but it would take me 5 pages to write out all that happened over that time. I’m just thankful that God sent people my way to guide me down the right path and get false doctrine out of my head. My husband being the main source. I don’t know where I would be had not God sent him my way.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? 8 years. As soon as Matt and I got married, we were on staff at Bible Baptist Church in Stillwater, OK under Wayne Hardy. We were the mission interns. Then, God called us to Sammamish, WA to start a church. We just celebrated our 5th anniversary there.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? I surrendered to the Lord my first year of Bible College. But I didn’t know where or to what extent he would use me. Then, I met Matt and he knew he would be a pastor some day, so I knew in my heart that I would follow him anywhere. I have never struggled with trusting my husband’s leadership in regards to where God wants us. If he told me tomorrow we were going to move to Africa or some exotic place, I would follow him in a heartbeat. By no means am I saying that I haven’t had "trust" issues, especially with the lack of security in my home growing up. But for some reason, I never struggled with following Matt.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? 23
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel "ready" to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? Yes, it was a struggle at first. We were the "lowly interns" on staff for those first couple of years. And the youngest staff couple too. So I sometimes felt out of place. But God grew me so much those first couple of years in Stillwater. Matt and I call it our "Boot Camp" years. They were hard, but the best training we could have ever had!
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? In some ways yes, but in some ways no. I didn’t have much responsibility as an intern when I had my first son. Then we moved to Washington and started a church. Our church has been growing along with our family size! So more responsibility with the church has come along with more kiddos as well. At times it has gotten quite stressful, but my husband has always been good about watching the boys so I can go spend quality time with the ladies of the church when they need me.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby…Ummmm…they cleaned the floors of our church with their knees as they crawled around while we set up the chairs and prepared for church services
b. Toddler…They helped set up and tear down for church services each week…and they still do. We got them involved in that as soon as they could walk.
c. School age/teens…Elijah, my oldest, now takes the offering on Wednesday nights. Which he loves! Along with his other responsibilities of setting up each week.
10. Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? I am so blessed to have the husband that I do. He was raised in a wonderful Pastor’s home and his parents always told him and his siblings how serving the Lord is the greatest thing you could ever do with your life. They also never showed the negatives of being in the ministry. So, that philosophy rubbed off on Matt and he tries to do the same with our kids. Since Sundays are such long days and our kids don’t get much of our attention, once we get home at night, we always try to have pizza or some "fun" food and we have a family night. My boys LOVE to wrestle with their daddy, so they know that Sunday nights are just for them11.What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Watch what you say about church members and any frustrations you have. Your children don’t need to know the negative side of the ministry. We want our boys to look at the ministry as the greatest adventure you could ever have.
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? There are some things that I struggle with submitting to, but over all, I submit pretty easily. My husband knows me quite well and if I fight him on something, he knows that I will eventually come around. I’m stubborn.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Since he was raised in a church planters home, he was prepared for a lot of the ups and downs of the ministry already. So he really doesn’t get discouraged that much. But when he does, I just love on him.  I would go into more detail, but we have to keep this rated PG 14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Sadly, I haven’t always dealt with it gracefully. But I’m learning.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? I usually take it very personally and have had to learn to take those criticisms to the Lord. I try to learn from them.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? Yes, we try. But it is getting harder and harder to find babysitters for 4 boys!
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from "those" women in the church? I never let him be alone with any of them and when I notice them trying to get a little too close to him, I just try to spend more one on one time with them.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? No. but we do occasionally. We talk often about how God is working on both of our hearts.
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? No. Sometimes I fear that I share too much of my burdens. But he is my greatest encourager.
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Listen to godly music.
 22. What is your favorite Scripture? Lamentations 3:22, 23 "It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness."
23. Do you have a favorite song? "He’s Always Been Faithful To Me"
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? Loving the difficult people and trying not to show favoritism
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I have to be very careful with how much attention I give to each lady. But there are some that are easier to be around and I mix better with. But I try not to let that show.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can "show" that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the "perfect" happy Pastor’s wife? One thing that my ladies have said on multiple times is that they feel like I am "real" with them. So they see my down falls and my strengths. I try to show them that I am human just like they are.
27. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? Apologized as soon as I realized what I did and reassured them how much I love them.
28. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and "venting" purposes? Yes, and I thank God for them!
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Understand that I’m a mother of 4 boys and I won’t always have time to meet their every need. And for them to understand that on Sundays I can’t always give any one person my undivided attention. It’s nice to have ladies that aren’t easily offended.
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? singing
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? Once a month Ladies Bible Study in my home. And then I have a ladies getaway each September. We rent a beach house and fly in a special speaker for 3 days.
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I just approach them personally if a need or hole needs to be filled.
33. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? Of course I want them to love God with all their heart. But since I have all boys, I want to be the type of woman that they would want to marry when they get older.
34. In all of your busyess, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? Every day is different. Sometimes it is first thing in the morning depending on how long the kids sleep in. Sometimes it is during their nap time. Sometimes it is right before I go to bed.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? People aren’t perfect. But neither are we. 36. How would you describe the "perfect" Pastor’s wife? I really hope there isn’t a "perfect" pastor’s wife. Because if there was I would probably compare myself to her and feel like I fail miserably! But if there was, I would say she would have to be totally and completely captivated by her Savior. Matt’s mom wasn’t perfect, but she had a walk with God like no other! Every night, no matter what, she would have her quiet time with the Lord. Matt said that even if the whole family was having a fun night together and enjoying eachother’s company, his mom would dismiss herself and go spend time with the Lord. She never missed. She even built a praying altar in her back yard. That was her special place to get alone with God. He was her very best friend. Even on her death bed, she had such joy and peace. I couldn’t get over how I didn’t see sadness in her eyes or any type of fear of dying. She couldn’t wait to meet her Savior. If I could know God the way she knew God, that would be my greatest desire.