Mrs. Chris Ingram...Missionary Wife!

Husband’s Position- Missionary

How long have you been married? 30 years in November

How many children/grandchildren do you have? 4 children and 7 grand childrenHow old are they? kids are all adults and grands range from 15 to 4

What field are you and your husband in/ going to? to the gypsies in Eastern Europe; will be living in Croatia

1. When/Where did you meet your husband? We met at our home church, Trinity Baptist Church in Arlington, TX
2. When did you get saved? My Sunday School teacher led me to the Lord when I was six years old.  She happened to be a missionary wife home on furlough.
3. Can you share your testimony? My mother was divorced and remarried when I was young.  The pastor that married them was an independent Baptist pastor.  After they got married we started going to the church.  My mother and new father were both saved before they married.  Within a few months of going to church I quickly learned that even at my age that I was a sinner that needed to be saved.  One Sunday morning I walked down the aisle and my Sunday School teacher led me to the Lord.  I was baptized that night.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? Since 1982.
5. Did you feel the same call as your husband to that specific location, or did you just feel the call to follow your husband? I felt the Lord calling me to the mission field when I was in high school. But I rebelled after I watched my mother die from a brain tumor.  But the Lord was not going to let me get away that easy.  Through many years of fighting Him, I surrendered.  Literally.  I told the Lord that I give up.  And right after that He put my future husband in my path. 
6. How long did you/ have you been traveling on deputation? We came off the mission field several years ago because of my health and family problems.  We surrerendered to go back this past February.  My husband has been on furlough since October.
7. What is the hardest thing about being on deputation? For me the hardest thing is being away from my grandchildren. (Sorry kids!)
8. What do enjoy the most about being on deputation? When we had the children it was being able to take them all over the United States and seeing so many sites. 
9. How do/did you keep your children excited about being a “missionary” with constant travel and being in church all of the time? We were always showing them how the Lord was working in our lives as we traveled.  They could watch how He always provided when we needed.
10. Do/Did you feel the burden of having well behaved children at all times? Any parent wants their children to be well behaved at all times, but that is not always possible.  That 'ole depraved nature always pops out at the most inoportune time in kids. But we all do our best to teach them.
11. What is the most encouraging thing that a Pastor’s wife could do or say to you regarding your children?. I guess is that the can see that we have taught our children how to behave and to also have their own standards. 
12. Do you always have the option of a Nursery in churches or do you sometimes have to take children who are not ready yet into services? I was fortunate to always have a nursery where we were. And for those churches where there is no nursery, do you wish they would make a special exception for your family while you are there? That would always be nice, but I would never expect it.  We would do the best we could.  It would not make me feel out of place to take a child out of the services.  That is just the same as is expected of any church member.
13. What is the best thing (other than prayer) that a church can do for your family or give to your family? Friendship and love
14. What are some things that churches do for you that may not be a help to you? We have been put into to church members homes that obviously did not like children and that caused inconvenience.  But there really has not been anything that I comes to mind.
15. Do you prefer to stay in a hotel, mission’s apartment, or the home of a church member? For me, when we had children a mission apartment was always wonderful.  But as we have gotten older staying in a home is nice.  I have developed several very special friendships from staying in homes.
16. What is the best thing a Pastor’s Wife can do to make you feel comfortable in her church? Just to show kindness goes a very long ways.  I have actually been in churches that I never learned who the pastor's wife was.  A willingness to help you with you children, especially if you have several.
17. What is the best thing that the ladies of the church can do for you? Talk to you.  Start up a conversation.  Not necessarily always about the mission field.  Just normal women and mom things.
18. Do you ever feel that you have to be “fake” at a new church to be accepted as a missionary? (For instance, do you feel the need to always smile, be social, and be positive about every aspect of your ministry and deputation) When I was younger and new in the ministry I felt I had to be perfect.  Just be yourself.  People can always tell when you are being fake.  When talking about your ministry and being on deputation, you can be honest.  It is not always easy, but it just how you talk about it.  You don't want people to feel sorry for you, you want them to feel your burden.
19. What kind of church makes you “feel at home”? Friendly, outgoing and talkative.  I enjoy it when the ladies talk to me, but what impresses me the most is when the teenagers come and talk.
20. Who are your best friends and what do they do that encourages you? I think my best friends are my two sisters.  One is also in the ministry.  She is a pastor's wife.  They allow me to vent when I need to.  If my husband and I are not on the same page (nice way of saying having an argument) I know that my sisters will let me vent and it is not going to be told all over the church.  They can be honest with me and tell me get off my soapbox or stop having a pity party for myself.  But most of all, I know that they are praying for me daily.  Sometimes hourly when needed.
21. Any “horror “stories you’d like to share? Well.........that could be opening a can of worms.   :0)  Let me see.  How about our family of six (youngest age 4 and a boy) staying in a home.  The lady did not like kids and her living room was completely white and glass furniture..  Including white shag carpet.  Needless to say, I was in our bedroom a lot with all for children because I was afraid of a disaster.
22. What has been the biggest blessing so far about being “on the road”? To me that was being able to share with our family how God provides.  Over and over we watched Him perform those miracles that people say never happen anymore. 
23. Do you ever get worried that your children will resent the ministry and the fact that you took them from America, away from their family and friends? There is always that possibility.  All we can do is our best, allow them to help as much in the ministry as possible, and pray, pray, pray.
24. What are/were your biggest fears and challenges about raising your children in a different culture? We would us it a learning tool to teaching them (and ourselves)the differences between our culture and other countries.  It also taught our children to love our own country.
25. How do you manage the lonely times (holidays, etc) without your family and friends in the States? We would try to celebrate in the same way as if we were in the states.  I tried to always make sure that I would bring something for each holiday to put up in our home.  And we started making new traditions.  In fact, we started a new tradition here in the states.  On New Years Day, I would make an full Romanian meal for the family.  It is something that we look forward to every year. 
26. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Of course Bible reading.  But I sing a lot.  It soothes my heart to hear hymns. 
27. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband for fear of discouraging him?. I used to feel that way years before.  But I began to carry burdens thinking I was protecting my husband.  But after we talked one time he taught me that I was trying to carry burdens that were really something that he should be handling.  Also, if we do not share our burdens with our husbands, how can he properly pray for us?
28. What do you do to encourage your husband? You would be surprised how by simple encouraging words.  Quite often he would go out to new villages on evangelistic trips.  I would try to put little notes in his shirt pockets or Bible.  Try to find new ways to encourage him. You would be surprised what really does encourage him.  I learned accidently one time when he was talking to another preacher about how when I would walk by him when he was at his desk working and just brush my hand across his shoulders as I walked by what a encouragement that was to him.  Who would have thought it???
29. What is your favorite Scripture? I Cor 15:10 - But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.
30. What is your favorite song? It Is Well With My Soul
31. How do you fit in your personal time with the Lord each day? I try to start every morning.  But you never now what is going to happen.  I have the Bible on my phone.  So every spare minute I have I try to read or listen to the Bible when my devotional time gets interrupted.
32. What is the most important thing you have learned so far about being in the ministry? To be careful to get too busy doing the ministry.  When I do, I tend to start doing it in my power and not the Lord's.  We have to cherish that personal time with Him.  I know that it is not always possible, but just do our best.  And to constantly pray.
33. If you could give one piece of advice to a girl/young woman who is wanting to be the wife of a missionary, what would it be? As women, we want to claim him to be "all" ours.  We have to be willing to share him.  Of course, we should always want him to put God first before us.  Just stay yielded and die to self every morning. 
34. What is your favorite thing about the country you are in/are going to? It might sould corny, but my favorite thing is that it is the country God wants us to be in.  And that make it my favorite.
35. Are you able to have the same type of ladies' ministries where you are serving as you could have in the states? When we were in Romania it was not possible to have the same type of ladies ministries that we have here.  When working with gypsy women it is a whole different culture.  Most of the women were bought as young ladies and even teenage girls.  They are just property.  They are not allowed to go to school.  The men want to keep them uneducated and always pregnant.  They want their women to be dependent on them. 
36. Did/Do you have to learn a new language? And if yes, how was it? Did you catch on quickly? Yes, we learned Romanian.  Even though the gypsies spoke the own language, they also spoke Romanian.  The last few years we were learning their language.  For me learning another language was difficult because at the time I was home schooling four children.  I was not able to get out as much to practice the language with people.  I learned the language almost perfectly on paper and reading but speaking was difficult for me.  After the children were gone was when I was able to learn better.
37. What is the hardest thing about being in another country? I was always afraid of breaking one of the laws that I did not know.  Or do a cultural mistake. 
38. How have you had to adapt to the culture where you are serving? Food? Clothing? I had to be careful how I acted and interacted with my husband in public.  Because women were second class citizens then.  When it came to food I had to adapt the "don't ask" policy.  Sometimes it was better not to know what I was eating.  Working with the gypsy women, clothing was not much of a problem.  They were required to be covered from head to toe, including the head. 
39. What are some ways you keep in contact with your family and friends that are across the world? The first few years were very difficult.  There were no computers.  The only way was to communicate was by snail mail and phones.  And then it was between $2-4 per minute to call.  So we did not call the states very often.  Now, there is no problem at all.  With computers you can do almost anything type of communicating.  Anything from email to Skype.
40. Do you feel "home" where God has called you?  We have been away from the mission field for several years.  Even though we knew this was where God wanted us at this time, both my husband's and my heart never left Romania.  We are so anxious to get back to the mission field!!!

Mrs. Rachel Miller...Youth Pastor's Wife!

Husband’s Position- Youth Pastor and Music Director

How long have you been married? 4 years 6 months

How many children do you have? How old are they? 2 boys, Jude (2yrs) Jonah(6months)

1. Where/How did you meet your husband? Pensacola Christian College - my best friend was dating his best friend :) I met him on my first day on campus, but I didn’t really get to know him until a dating outing. I only went because my best friend was going with her boyfriend, and Stephen had no choice but to go since he was the Chaplain of his collegian. So my best friend talked me into going with Stephen. I really didn’t want to go because I thought it was going to be awkward sitting next to someone I didn’t know. He started talking about the restaurant that he and his brother started in PA (Jones Shakes, Burgers, and Stuff) and how he almost died in a car accident when a cotton candy truck pulled out in front of him. Then when he started talking about how he wants to be in the ministry, and how he wants to serve God... I knew. My heart skipped a beat. I knew I was going to marry him.
2. When did you get saved? I was 5 when I asked Jesus to save me and was baptized the next Sunday
3. Can you share your testimony? I grew up in a Christian home, but honestly, I didn’t live a strong Christian life until I had a heart change around the age of 18. It was then that I rededicated my heart to Christ and repented of my sinful life. One night laying out under the stars just thinking about how big the universe is, and how big God is, I asked God if there was any way He could still use me, that I would be willing to do it. That moment I will never forget - I saw a shooting star. My life has never been the same.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? 4 years and 6 months - we moved the week after we were married to our ministry here in Holyoke.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?  I did not know right away, it was revealed to me in small ways and first I had to accept that I was supposed to marry Stephen. I knew the first time I really talked to him that I was going to marry him someday, but knowing that marrying him would mean that I would be a pastor’s wife made me nervous, and I doubted... for months. When I accepted that that’s what God wanted for my life (after remembering that shooting star) I jumped in completely... and I have not regretted it one bit. God knew exactly the person I needed more than I knew myself.
6. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?   Yes, I did have a difficult time. Not only was I adjusting to my new married life, but I moved from my hometown in South Dakota to a place I’ve never been. I have never been to New England, never saw our church, never met the teens I would be working with, never saw my apartment, until the day I moved there. Needless to say, I trust my husband 100%! But I knew that God was the One that called me there, and all the details would be worked out, and they were! 
7. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? Yes it was hard to go to all the same activities as I used to, and yes it was hard for me and the girls of the youth group. They loved spending time with me, and having children took away from that time. I have adjusted and I’m able to go to more things now, or I have some girls to the house. I also take them out when I can and Stephen can watch the boys at home.
8. What are some ways you include and involved your children in the ministry?
1. Baby… Jonah stays in the nursery :)
2. Toddler… Jude, also in the nursery, but also enjoys playing with the older kids after church. We also allow him to practice his singing at the pulpit when everyone is gone.
9. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you try to make it fun for them? My children are very young, so this is not a worry yet. I do know of many stories such as this, but I just try to be faithful in praying for my boys future, and that they will see their parents hearts in serving God, and will want to do the same.
10. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Pray for them above all. Yes, it may sound cliche but the power of prayer will make up for any human error, and I know myself, I need God’s hand in raising my kids. Be sure to just take time to love on your kids. I’m a young mother to very young children, but the experience I have is mostly from my upbringing as a child. You can never tell them “I love you” too much!
11. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  I am more than happy to follow my husband. I trust him completely with the decisions for our family, marriage, and youth group.
12. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? I just tell him that when great things are happening for God, there will always be opposition, and that should be an encouragement that he is doing what’s right. When it’s a “burnt out” feeling, we just take a day vacation and renew our spirits, which always helps. We also reflect on how God has already worked in our lives, we see past victories, knowing God still has a work to do, and He is the One Who called us here is the best motivation to keep going.
13. How do you deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? I don’t listen! When I do hear something, I just ignore it. I know that if a tiny seed of bitterness gets planted then it’s just Satan trying to ruin what God’s been working on through us.
14. How do you deal with personal criticisms? Again, I don’t listen. People can/will say what they want about me, but if I know my heart is right with God, I have nothing to worry about. If they are criticizing me in a right way, like from an elder in the church or about something that I’m doing wrong, then that’s completely different.... I am humbled, and I take it for what it is - “a wound from a friend” and try to move on and grow from it.
15. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? YES!! I look forward to those!!
16. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? I have learned to share my husband, and not be selfish and want all his time to myself. That can be very hard sometimes!
17. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? Never alone, talk through me if it’s about music (my husband is also the music director), tell me about any conversations, and pray for my husband’s protection.
18. How do you guard your husband from the “crushes” of teen girls? no private conversations, no council unless I’m with him
19. And how do you guard yourself from the crushes of teen boys? same as above, I don’t “bond” with the guys... that’s my husband’s job. 
20. How do you deal with the parents that are always on their child’s side? Stick to our ground rules, and if need be, talk to the head pastor if we are caught in a compromising position. This happened once with grandparents and their rebellious grandson. We all had a meeting at the church and talked it all out. They ended up taking a step back in their ministry - now, that couple is one of our closest friends at church, and such a big help!
21. How do you deal with the parent that think it is the youth pastor’s job to “raise” their children and blame them when their teen does wrong? We have not encountered this, praise God, but sometimes we feel like it is more our responsibility than at home because 80% of our kids are bus kids and do not have good homes at all. Many have told us we are their second set of parents. It’s very humbling.
22. How do you establish a good youth leader/parent relationship? Communicate! We learned this very early. Our first few months, we had a girl run away from home. Her parents called us to help them find her. We never met her parents before as they were not church members. The dad barely knew any English, so his wife translated for him. She said that he promised God that if we found their daughter alive, that he would start coming to church. After two days, she showed up. The family has been faithful to church ever since, helping in the bus ministry. They trust us because we established a relationship with them. The parents know we are on their side, and are trying to help in the areas where their kids aren’t willing to open up.
23. How do you deal with “clingy” teenagers? (Ya know the ones who are always following you) - yes, we have those! I try to be patient, and watch what I say. It seems the more you are looked up to, the more every word you say is magnified. I try to pair them up with someone that would be a good example for them in the youth group.
24. How do you encourage/help those teens whose parents are not saved and do not attend church? This is the majority of our youth group. Out of 50ish teens, only 5 have mom and dad in church. We pray for them constantly, tell them to never give up, and to always keep a good testimony at home because that could be the only “Bible” they read. Always respect them, even if they don’t agree. Keep inviting them to church, keep talking about the decisions they’ve made for God.
25. How do you feel about parents grounding their kids from teen activities? Mixed on this, it’s happened. But we can’t really tell the parents what to do. I don’t like it if they miss a youth rally because we always could hear more preaching, but if it’s one of our fun activities, then it might be worth the punishment. If there’s a chance I can talk to the parents, we try to work it out so it’s something else.
26. In what ways do you deal with the “drama” of your ministry? The hard things like runaways, drugs, partying, drinking or teen pregnancies? We have had all the above, unfortunately. First, we don’t talk about those involved to anyone else. Stop any rumors if I hear anything. Take that teen out for a day, get ice cream and just try to get them to open up to me. There’s almost always an underlying problem that lead to the big mistakes. Most the time, they have no one to go to that cares, really cares. I want them to see what the Bible says about that sin, but also, they always have hope in God. It’s not over just because they made a mistake. I am able to give a  few examples in my own life, and show them that God truly loves them and wants them to have an amazing life. First - repentance, second- healing, third- forget and move on.
27. How do you encourage unity within your youth group? Welcome the new/younger teens and we highly discourage ‘cliques’ - this being our first youth group, we’ve been blessed with a great bunch of kids on this subject.
28. What is the one thing you would like to get across to the people of your church regarding the youth? Encourage them!! They always hear that they’ll never make it, never graduate, they’re just a bunch of rebellious kids that are disrespectful and full of hate. We need adults to love on them, show them that serving God is not only real fun, but they won’t regret it the next morning. They should be welcomed to church by even the adults, not just the other kids or youth leaders.
29. What is the most DIScouraging thing someone can say to you regarding the youth? “they won’t last” 
30. What do you do with your young children during activities? Bring them? Stay home? Do you have faithful ladies in the church who are willing to help you by watching them? It really depends on the activity. I bring them if i can, if it’s a rally and they have a nursery, I bring them. Sometimes if they are hours away, I’ll stay home with the boys. Yes, there are a couple ladies that are willing to watch the boys, and have done so!
31. What is the most encouraging thing that other ladies in the church can do for you? pray for me, send me an encouraging card or Bible verses
32. What is the most encouraging thing your pastor’s wife can do for you or say to you? I have an amazing pastor’s wife/friend! She gave me a card just to say that I’m doing a good job and it’s a privilege to work along side me. I kept that card.
33. Most Discouraging? I don’t know... anything opposite of above, or bad news about a family in the church
34. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? Not as often as we should. We talk about what we have learned in our personal devos, or something we’ve been praying about and have seen answers. It’s amazing to hear that we have been praying for the same thing and the other not knowing until it was answered for both of us!
35. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? No, I’m just careful in how I say it, and always make sure the good outweighs the bad... I know I can trust him with anything
36. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? sing, listen to music, get alone, bubble bath, work out, look at old pictures and remember my amazing journey that lead me here, and play with my sons!
37. What is your favorite Scripture? Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart, and lean not on thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
38. Do you have a favorite song? I Have Been Blessed, God’s Been Good, Stand Still, What About His Grace, All Along - anything from the Pictures of Grace cd :)
39. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? I need to schedule my time better, be more outgoing with the girls, I tend to be shy and I don’t want that to appear “stuck up” to the newcomers
40. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? Sometimes... but I have some really good Godly friends that I count a huge blessing, and they really encourage me.
41. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or do you feel you must be the perfect, happy staff wife? If I’m discouraged, I try my best not to show it as to get sympathy. If anything, I am more quiet, seeking God, trying to find comfort or answers. I go to my pastor’s wife if I need advice if it has to do with someone in the church, or a teen that I don’t know how to deal with. If it’s just a “rut” I’m going through, I just take time alone and try my best to snap out of it. I do not like to put a front on, making everyone think I’m always happy. I want to be known for being real. I pray that God’s joy will always outshine even my bad days!
42. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? I can’t think of any big mistakes, but I know we’ve made small ones and I know we’ve offended people simply through miscommunication. Easiest thing to do is talk to that person. You never know what’s wrong until you go to the source.
43. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? Just my pastor’s wife, which we’ve become very close over the past 4 years
44. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I’m known as the church photographer and graphic designer, and I love it!
45. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? to love and serve God with all their hearts is no better way to live
46. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? Each morning I have my own devotion time. Before I do any chores, graphic art work, turn on computer, I read and pray. I keep a journal of what I learned that day, a verse that jumped out at me, a praise, and something I’m praying about.
47. Other then the Bible, do you have any other books that have helped you along the way? My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and Glimpses of God by Debi Pryde
48. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? My ministry is only as strong as my marriage, as my home, as my prayer life. 

Mrs. Alyssa Farinella...wife of the week!

Husband’s Position- Pastor
How long have you been married? 8 years
How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? I have four boys. Elijah is 6. Grant is 4. Ethan is 2. Jackson is 9 months.
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? Short version of the story…we met at Heartland our first year. Long story…my home church in Michigan was his parents sending church (they started WoodinValley Baptist in Woodinville, WA over 25 years ago). So all growing up I heard my pastor read their monthly support letters and grew to LOVE the Farinella family! I adored his mother (Kathy Farinella) and wanted to be just like her when I got older. She was a bus kid at my home church and grew up with my mom in the youth department. Something even crazier was that Kathy caught the bouquet at my parent’s wedding! Who would have ever thought that their children would grow up and get married!
2. When did you get saved? When I was 10 years old
3. Can you share your testimony? I was raised in a Christian home, but a "broken" home. My parents were divorced when I was 6 weeks old. And that started the years of step dads, step moms, more divorce, separation…simply put, Chaos! But through all the turmoil at home, my mom ALWAYS kept me and my siblings in a good, Bible Believing Baptist church. Church became my haven. When I was 10 years old an evangelist came through and preached a revival. And on the last night, April 27, 1990, I went forward and my pastor led me to the Lord. I wish I could say my struggles stopped there. But it seemed like my struggles only started to intensify. I really started to doubt my salvation and continued to do so for over 25 years! I made multiple professions after that and kept battling for such a long time. God gave me the victory over my struggles, but it would take me 5 pages to write out all that happened over that time. I’m just thankful that God sent people my way to guide me down the right path and get false doctrine out of my head. My husband being the main source. I don’t know where I would be had not God sent him my way.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? 8 years. As soon as Matt and I got married, we were on staff at Bible Baptist Church in Stillwater, OK under Wayne Hardy. We were the mission interns. Then, God called us to Sammamish, WA to start a church. We just celebrated our 5th anniversary there.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? I surrendered to the Lord my first year of Bible College. But I didn’t know where or to what extent he would use me. Then, I met Matt and he knew he would be a pastor some day, so I knew in my heart that I would follow him anywhere. I have never struggled with trusting my husband’s leadership in regards to where God wants us. If he told me tomorrow we were going to move to Africa or some exotic place, I would follow him in a heartbeat. By no means am I saying that I haven’t had "trust" issues, especially with the lack of security in my home growing up. But for some reason, I never struggled with following Matt.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? 23
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel "ready" to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? Yes, it was a struggle at first. We were the "lowly interns" on staff for those first couple of years. And the youngest staff couple too. So I sometimes felt out of place. But God grew me so much those first couple of years in Stillwater. Matt and I call it our "Boot Camp" years. They were hard, but the best training we could have ever had!
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? In some ways yes, but in some ways no. I didn’t have much responsibility as an intern when I had my first son. Then we moved to Washington and started a church. Our church has been growing along with our family size! So more responsibility with the church has come along with more kiddos as well. At times it has gotten quite stressful, but my husband has always been good about watching the boys so I can go spend quality time with the ladies of the church when they need me.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby…Ummmm…they cleaned the floors of our church with their knees as they crawled around while we set up the chairs and prepared for church services
b. Toddler…They helped set up and tear down for church services each week…and they still do. We got them involved in that as soon as they could walk.
c. School age/teens…Elijah, my oldest, now takes the offering on Wednesday nights. Which he loves! Along with his other responsibilities of setting up each week.
10. Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? I am so blessed to have the husband that I do. He was raised in a wonderful Pastor’s home and his parents always told him and his siblings how serving the Lord is the greatest thing you could ever do with your life. They also never showed the negatives of being in the ministry. So, that philosophy rubbed off on Matt and he tries to do the same with our kids. Since Sundays are such long days and our kids don’t get much of our attention, once we get home at night, we always try to have pizza or some "fun" food and we have a family night. My boys LOVE to wrestle with their daddy, so they know that Sunday nights are just for them11.What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Watch what you say about church members and any frustrations you have. Your children don’t need to know the negative side of the ministry. We want our boys to look at the ministry as the greatest adventure you could ever have.
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? There are some things that I struggle with submitting to, but over all, I submit pretty easily. My husband knows me quite well and if I fight him on something, he knows that I will eventually come around. I’m stubborn.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Since he was raised in a church planters home, he was prepared for a lot of the ups and downs of the ministry already. So he really doesn’t get discouraged that much. But when he does, I just love on him.  I would go into more detail, but we have to keep this rated PG 14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Sadly, I haven’t always dealt with it gracefully. But I’m learning.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? I usually take it very personally and have had to learn to take those criticisms to the Lord. I try to learn from them.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? Yes, we try. But it is getting harder and harder to find babysitters for 4 boys!
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from "those" women in the church? I never let him be alone with any of them and when I notice them trying to get a little too close to him, I just try to spend more one on one time with them.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? No. but we do occasionally. We talk often about how God is working on both of our hearts.
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? No. Sometimes I fear that I share too much of my burdens. But he is my greatest encourager.
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Listen to godly music.
 22. What is your favorite Scripture? Lamentations 3:22, 23 "It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness."
23. Do you have a favorite song? "He’s Always Been Faithful To Me"
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? Loving the difficult people and trying not to show favoritism
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I have to be very careful with how much attention I give to each lady. But there are some that are easier to be around and I mix better with. But I try not to let that show.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can "show" that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the "perfect" happy Pastor’s wife? One thing that my ladies have said on multiple times is that they feel like I am "real" with them. So they see my down falls and my strengths. I try to show them that I am human just like they are.
27. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? Apologized as soon as I realized what I did and reassured them how much I love them.
28. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and "venting" purposes? Yes, and I thank God for them!
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Understand that I’m a mother of 4 boys and I won’t always have time to meet their every need. And for them to understand that on Sundays I can’t always give any one person my undivided attention. It’s nice to have ladies that aren’t easily offended.
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? singing
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? Once a month Ladies Bible Study in my home. And then I have a ladies getaway each September. We rent a beach house and fly in a special speaker for 3 days.
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I just approach them personally if a need or hole needs to be filled.
33. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children? Of course I want them to love God with all their heart. But since I have all boys, I want to be the type of woman that they would want to marry when they get older.
34. In all of your busyess, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? Every day is different. Sometimes it is first thing in the morning depending on how long the kids sleep in. Sometimes it is during their nap time. Sometimes it is right before I go to bed.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? People aren’t perfect. But neither are we. 36. How would you describe the "perfect" Pastor’s wife? I really hope there isn’t a "perfect" pastor’s wife. Because if there was I would probably compare myself to her and feel like I fail miserably! But if there was, I would say she would have to be totally and completely captivated by her Savior. Matt’s mom wasn’t perfect, but she had a walk with God like no other! Every night, no matter what, she would have her quiet time with the Lord. Matt said that even if the whole family was having a fun night together and enjoying eachother’s company, his mom would dismiss herself and go spend time with the Lord. She never missed. She even built a praying altar in her back yard. That was her special place to get alone with God. He was her very best friend. Even on her death bed, she had such joy and peace. I couldn’t get over how I didn’t see sadness in her eyes or any type of fear of dying. She couldn’t wait to meet her Savior. If I could know God the way she knew God, that would be my greatest desire.

Mrs. Lynne Carney...Wife of the Week!

Husband’s Position- My husband is the Pastor at Lighthouse Baptist Church in Holbrook, Massachusetts.

How long have you been married?  We have been married 18 ½ years.

How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? We have three sons: Sean, 15; TJ, 13; Matthew, 10; and we have one daughter, Katie, 19 months.

1.      Where/How did you meet your husband? We met in January of 1993 while working at the Lighthouse Children’s Home in Kosciusko, Mississippi.

2.      When did you get saved?  I received Christ as my Saviour in 1977.

3.      Can you share your testimony?  I grew up in a Pastor’s home so I heard the Gospel at a young age.  One Sunday afternoon as we came in the house from church, I told my father, “Daddy, I need a Saviour.”  As he walked through the kitchen he said, “Well, we all do, Lynne,” and he kept on walking.  Thinking back, I know he must not have thought I knew what I was talking about.  I then said, “But, Daddy, I’m lost.”  Then, he knew I understood.  I believed Christ died for me and rose again and I received Christ as my Saviour that afternoon. 

4.      How long have you been in the ministry?  My father has been a pastor since I was two years old, but apart from that, I started serving the Lord on my own about 20 years ago.

5.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? I surrendered to the Lord at the age of 14.  I did go through a period of time when I forgot that I promised to serve him, but he still directed in my life so that I finally did start serving him the summer of 1992 when I was 21 years old.

6.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership?  I was 22 years old.

7.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?  Whatever difficulties I had due to my age, it did not last long.  I think I did feel like I was not ready to be on my own after we started our first church.  The missionary family we were helping had to leave so we were on our own.  I did begin to feel like I was in over my head, but that passed with time.

8.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  The opportunities to serve were there.  They were just very specific to one or two things.  I taught Sunday school if someone was in the nursery to keep the kids.  I held Bible studies during the kids nap times.  There were ministry opportunities that were more suited to my husband or some other church worker.  There were other times when I needed to concentrate on being wife and mother and if I could keep up with a ministry then I would lead or participate in that ministry.

9.      What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby… I planned the nursery list while we were missionaries.  I was a nursery worker.  Sometimes I would keep church kids so their parents could go to Bible studies or visitation.  I taught Sunday school for a while.

b.      Toddler… I continued to teach Sunday school.  Sometimes I took the kids with me to hand out tracts or make visits.  The elderly people at our church in Hungary liked it when we came for a visit.

c.       School age/teens…  My sons continue to go on visitation on Saturday mornings.  They also help with the sound system and recording church services.  They also help in junior church.  They serve as door greeters on occasions.  They also have taken the offering when we had no usher available.

10.  Did you ever worry that your children would resent the ministry, and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them?  I might have worried about it when we were in Hungary.  They always loved coming back to the United States, but now that we live here, I do not think they have any resentment at all.  Hopefully, we will never see any resentment.

11.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry?  They need to be available to the ministry that the family is in, but when the time comes, God will call them individually or he will not.  Do not put a call on their life that is not God’s will.

12.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  “I wish I could say I was naturally submissive.  I have always liked doing my own thing, but I have learned that God blesses a submissive wife.  A man cannot be a good pastor if his wife is not following him as best she can.  A wife and especially a pastor’s wife should also remember that the husband is not without a “great” commandment.  I do not mention this because we need to remind our husband of the commandment, but that we may feel like we have a tough job being submissive, but God tells them, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”  That is a pretty tall order to follow.  We simply have to assume he is fulfilling God’s command to love us, and then we should obey our command to be submissive.  God will protect us if we are doing what he wants us to do.  Many wives have to endure husbands who are lost.  We are not really suffering if we have to submit to our saved, Bible preaching husband.

13.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?  I laughed when I read this one because the first thing I thought of was his favorite meal or dessert.  I might cook his favorite meal or do a little something extra to make the house look nice or I might ask him if there is anything I can do for him.  

14.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? I try to ignore it.  People often speak without thinking or speak too soon so I just try to ignore it or give them the benefit of the doubt.  Where there are people, there will be criticism.

15.  How do you deal with personal criticisms?  It is harder to ignore personal criticism.  First, I consider the source.  It may not be valid.  If I think the criticism is valid I might try to do something to make things better, otherwise I just ignore it.  We are in the ministry to please the Lord, not every church member.  If we do that, we will be pulled in too many different directions.

16.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?  My husband has Mondays off so we often spend time together that day.  The kids have always had a set bedtime so we have time together after they are asleep to talk about the day, go for a walk, or even go out now that they are older.

17.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?  He has an awesome responsibility to KNOW God’s Word inside and out.  We too need to have a good knowledge of the Bible, but he needs private study time so he can be ready for all kinds of questions at any moment.  In addition, his time is not his own.  I have to be prepared to change plans because he needs to do some last minute counseling or visiting.

18.  What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church?  I have to borrow some of my answer to this question from my mission’s teacher.  She always reminded us that we need to keep ourselves looking pretty, neat, and well groomed even on days when we have no plans to go anywhere.  In doing so, “those” women will always see us as trying to please our husband.  In other areas, my husband never considers counseling with any women unless I am in the counseling session also.  Letting the women in the church know that you are aware of your husband’s schedule and where he is or where he is going to be, is also a great way to do that.  Because we live next to the church, there have been occasions when my husband has specifically asked me not to go home without him because someone was still at church.  We have not really had a problem in this area yet. 

19.  Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? We pray together, but our devotion time is generally with the kids too. He and I often sit and talk about a sermon I might have missed.  My husband has a talking Bible on his I pad.  Sometimes he takes the boys and has devotion with them and they listen to the Bible read; my daughter and I go off together to her room, we sing, and I might read to her from the Bible. I personally like getting up early and having prayer and devotion time before anyone else gets up.

20.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?  Fortunately, my husband is a good listener/communicator.  I can talk to him, but lately I have found it better to take it to the Lord and things usually work out without bringing it to my husband’s attention.

21.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? I love to listen to good conservative Christian music:  the John Marshall Family’s CDs and tapes, I also listen to preaching CDs and other Christian music CDs.  We use devotionals from Mercy and Truth Ministries.  I like to read them and study them. 

22.  What is your favorite Scripture? Psalms 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

23.  Do you have a favorite song? It would be a tossup between “The Glory of Your Presence” and “He Made It Again” both by Deborah Marshall Wells.  It would be too hard to say what my favorite hymn is, maybe I Sing the Mighty Power of God.

24.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  I would have to say the biggest struggle comes when we counseling with people who have morality problems or addiction problems.  Ignorance is bliss, but it is not always possible.

25.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I find that it is good to try to be friendly with all of the ladies in the church, but not to be too close to any one person.   You will naturally be closer to some than others because you may serve together in some specific ministry where you are together more. 

26.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife?  It is enough that they know not everything is perfect, but I find it best not to bear your soul to someone unless you have known them long enough to know you can take them into your confidence.  People cannot keep a secret long.

27.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  I have not offended anyone that did not appreciate a simple “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that; done that; whatever.”

28.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  I do.  My mother is still a pastor’s wife.  I go to her because she can tell me whether a problem is worth worrying about or not.

29.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? A note from time to time is always an encouragement.  I also appreciate it when people want to do things with my kids.

30.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?  I am in no way an accomplished pianist, but I enjoy filling in at the piano.  Most of all I enjoy working the altar and leading a soul to Christ.

31.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships?  Right now, we meet twice a year:  Mother’s Day and Christmas.  Sometimes I give a devotion, at other times I have asked someone else to do it like an area pastor’s wife or a visiting missionary wife.  We also go to Ladies Fellowships at other churches. 

32.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church?  This is the toughest thing about being in the ministry.  It can be difficult to convince people that they are at church to contribute rather than to soak everything in like a sponge.  The one area we are promoting now is visitation.  We remind them that the more people who participate the more encouraging it is for those who come out.  When a person shows up and there are only two or three people there, it is discouraging, but when 10 or 12 come out it is so encouraging.

33.  What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children?  The most important thing in life is to love God and to do what God wants you to do.

34.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?  Most of the time I am up early.  I sometimes read my Bible and pray, if I am pressed for time, and do not get to be by myself, I take the baby into her room and let her play while I read my Bible and pray.

35.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?  The job of a pastor’s wife is not a one size fits all description.   My job is to do what my husband needs me to do so that he can do his job.  Sometimes I have been a part of several ministries; at other times, it was necessary for me just to be wife and mother. 

36.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife?  The perfect Pastor’s wife has a pleasant look on her face if not a smile on her face.  That is too hard to do all the time. J She is ready to ask if someone needs help.  She has the law of kindness in her tongue and she is not critical of others especially other pastor’s wives.  She is there for her husband first, her children second and the church after that.

my verse for the new year....

This was by far the fastest year of my life...I just cannot believe it is already 2012. I feel like I just got used to writing 2011! It has been a year of ups and downs...but I am so thankful the Lord brought us through each of them and we came out singing "Even in the Valley, God is Good!". There were many, many valleys in 2011. Many in our ministry and many in our family.
And while I know God was with me all year long and brought us through many trials and given us many blessings and victories, I just feel like I did not come out too much stronger spiritually than when the year began. I'm not saying I backslid a ton or anything, but I cannot honestly look at last January and see a year's worth of spiritual growth. I feel like I just sort of ...stood still.
My daughter Elliana turned 1 last January, and looking at her now, she is so much farther along than she was last year. She has grown and matured so much over the year, but I just can't say I have as much as I could have.
I feel that through all of the trials of the year (my Gramma dying, my parents divorcing, my crazy pregnancy / birth with Joyanna, our ministry, finances, family health issues, etc) that I should have come out with mountain moving faith, but I still have times where I doubt the Lord, His power, His mercy, His grace and His goodness, even after ALL He has brought me through.
Anyways...I like to have a verse of the year and this year I picked Luke 17:5, " And, the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our Faith." I have faith, but I want so much more. So this yeat I am praying for the Lord to increase my faith. Kind of a scary prayer...! But I want that mountain moving faith...



I'm still here!!

Just in case you thought something terrible happened to me....It didn't!! I've just been super duper busy!! December is always such a busy month, so I will be restarting "Ministry Monday" in January. =) Hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas! Praise God for sending His only son! I cannot imagine where my life would be if he didn't....