Mrs. Jennifer Kirby...Youth Pastor's Wife!

Husband’s Position-Joe is an Assistant Pastor/Youth Pastor  at Coast Hills Baptist Church in Santa Maria CA 

How long have you been married?  8 years 

How many children do you have? How old are they?  3 Kiddos-Boys 6,4; One Girl-2 (Her identical twin in Heaven) 

1. Where/How did you meet your husband?  My Pastors Daughter, Charity went to college with me and "hooked" me up with a guy shes known in her church forever. We dated long distance for 3 years (He was in Bible College in Cali; I was in Bible College in Ok) Now, my Hubby is serving back at his home church under his home Pastor...Charitys dad.  =) 
2. When did you get saved?  It was July and I was 17.  
3. Can you share your testimony?  I was a jr in high school and was invited to a teen camp  which I only went because I thought there would be cute guys there =) Traveled to Poplar Bluff Missouri to Camp Waterbrook and it completely was foreign to me. It was a Mon-Fri teen camp and on Wed the preacher preached on How to Know Youre Saved...things like a DESIRE to read your Bible, A DESIRE to be around Gods people...I knew I only went to church because I had to--I most certainly didn’t read My Bible and the Lord used that sermon to Convict me. I remember when I was a child saying the sinners prayer but there was no conviction in my heart...I went forward with an evangelists wife Mrs McGaughey  and My own PW. I knelt there and honestly don’t remember the exact words...all I knew was when I stood I KNEW I had HIM and was Saved! 

4. How long have you been in the ministry?  8 years; My hubby was already in it 2 years before we got married  while I finished Bible College 
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?  I grew up in a home where I wanted the complete opposite of what I had and was willing to do anything to get it. I knew right away that I wanted to be in ministry. I wanted that for my own family, my own kids should I have any. 
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 23 
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age?  Looking back, Im so amazed at Gods grace and patience with me LOL! My hubby was already a Asst/Youth Pastor  for 2 years before I joined him...so to say I wasn’t welcomed by the teens was an understatement. And honestly, I don’t blame them a bit-I came in gungho and hotheaded and if I were in their shoes,,I would have felt the same way. I wasn’t respected not because of my age but because of my Attitude.   
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you?  With my first son yes.  I wanted to do and be a part of everything my husband was in and at times felt resentful of my position as Mother that kept me from doing that. After I loss our daughter Grace-the Lord showed me Motherhood is a privledge not a right..my loss showed me what my "job" really was. 

9. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you try to make it fun for them?  Yes. My husband and I constantly reevaluate...we try to spend quality time with our kids (cells off!), protect our family days, have a fun home and make sure we have their hearts.  

10. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband?  No-Im not a naturally submissive person...however I have so much respect for my husband its easy for me to follow him. 
11. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work?  I  make sure his physical needs are met...his home is a safe haven and enforce the positive 

12. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? If a teen complains I tell them to take it up with him.. 
13. How do you deal with personal criticisms?  Im one of those people that takes it to heart...=( 
14. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband?  Yes...we try to protect that time and are extremely blessed to be able to leave my kiddos with my Mother in law    
15. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry?  Im extremely blessed to have a husband who LOVES what he does. 

16. How do you guard your husband from the “crushes” of teen girls?  Hubby preaches on it....its never been a issue for us tho 
17. And how do you guard yourself from the crushes of teen boys?  I stay madly in love with my hubby  =)   
18. How do you deal with the parents that are always on their child’s side?  I used to think it was my job  to convince them otherwise LOL...now I try to remember "unsolicited advice is seldom heeded" 

19. How do you deal with the parent that think it is the youth pastor’s job to “raise” their children and blame them when their teen does wrong?  My hubby builds the relationship with the dad and involves them in what way we can 

20. How do you establish a good youth leader/parent relationship?  The closer you get to the parents the less criticism and the more you build the relationship *ESP with the DAD  builds more trust and unity.  

21. How do you deal with “clingy” teenagers? (Ya know the ones who are always following you)  I was one of them LOL! I try to remember one day they wont be a teen and they WILL remember how you treated them... 
22. How do you encourage/help those teens whose parents are not saved and do not attend church?  I send them notes,  texts,  have them over...do as much as their parents will allow. I remind them the decisions they make now will affect the home they want to have later... 
23. How do you feel about parents grounding their kids from teen activities?  We want as many teens as possible to come to teen activities...every situation is different...for the church kid who only gets to go to teen activities sometimes its necessary to keep them from one to show them where their responsibility lies... 
24. In what ways do you deal with the “drama” of your ministry? The hard things like runaways, drugs, partying, drinking or teen pregnancies? Hubby always gets Pastors direction and goes from there. We recently had a Spiritual Warfare conference with Pastor Marvin Smith  and realized its not enough to say Read your Bible and pray...you have to get to the roots and deal with it...Hubby has met in homes with the teen and parents and gone thru some of his DVDs with them... 
25. How do you encourage unity within your youth group?  Were still working on that one..LOL 
26. What is the one thing you would like to get across regarding the youth?  Don’t disregard them..they are people...they are our next generation...our next church... 
27. What is the most DIScouraging thing someone can say to you regarding the youth?  They don’t count..dont matter 
28. What do you do with your young children during activities? Bring them? Stay home? Do you have faithful ladies in the church who are willing to help you by watching them?  When they were younger wed bring them with us to camps and conferences...we don’t take our kids to the activities...we want them to be excited and look forward to all the activities and not have experienced them so its old news  when they join themselves...we leave them back home with my Mom in law. 
29. What is the most encouraging thing that other ladies in the church can do for you?  CHBC Ladies are great-they really love our teens and are willing to serve them...thats always an encouragement...some make breakfast for them  (on long road trips-a parent makes breakfast burritos)  They help us bring teens in and are encouraging to our teens... 
30. What is the most encouraging thing your pastor’s wife can do for you or say to you?  Pray for me and my family and tell me...know me as a person not just a staff wife...take an interest in me 

31. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily?  We try to pray with each other before we fall asleep 
32. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him?  Sometimes but I always end up sharing them. My husband is my best friend. He is my rock and can always put things into perspective for me. 
33. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Read Psalms and my journal-remind myself of past struggles and victories, listen to Good Music and find something to laugh at (One time I stayed in Hallmark for an hour and just looked at all their funny cards!) 
34. What is your favorite Scripture?  Rom 8:28 
35. Do you have a favorite song?  right now its...I can Trust Jesus 
36. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry?  Comparison 
37. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? My closest friends are other ministry wives (outside my church)  but I have several good friends within my church as well. 

38. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or do you feel you must be the perfect, happy staff wife?  More the happy staff wife... 
39. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship?  Yes...My mouth gets me into trouble...i go to them and ask forgiveness 
40. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes?  Yes 
41. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church?  Teen Ministry  =) 
42. What is the most important thing you want to pass down to your children?  A Desire for them to love and serve Christ  and others from their hearts 
43. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day?  During my daughters naptime while my boys are in school...but the devo book I go through (a Heart Refreshed from Glow Publications) I do at night 
44. Other then the Bible, do you have any other books that have helped you along the way?  I am a huge BOOKWORM-I love to read...Currently reading The Choice is Yours by Terrie Chappell...its excellent...off the top of my head heres 3 books that I love : It’s a Wonderful Life by Terrie Chappell, Teachers of Good Things by Francie Tayler  and Created to Be A Helpmeet by Debi Pearl... 
45. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned?  A quote my hubby learned in Bible College...Its Never Completely Fixed, Its Never Completely Broken, Its Never as Good as  you Think but its Never as Bad  as you Think.