 |
Monday, July 4, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
*Mrs. Laura Faulk*...Wife of the Week!
Husband’s Position- Pastor, First Baptist Church of Groton, MA
How long have you been married? 37 years
How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? We have 4 children, 6 grandchildren, and 3 grandchildren on the way
How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? We have 4 children, 6 grandchildren, and 3 grandchildren on the way
Our son Tom is 35 yrs old. He has 4 children: Ginnie (12), Andrew (10), Aaron (9), Timothy (2)
Our daughter Shannon is 33 years old. She has 1 child: Lauryn (19 mos) and a boy due Aug. 5
Our daughter Karyn is 29 years old. She has 1 child: Isaiah (5 yrs) and twins due Feb. 5
Our son Joe is 27 years old. He is married but no children yet.
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? I met my husband during my senior year of high school while working a part time job in downtown Cleveland, Ohio
2. When did you get saved? March 19, 1978 at Cleveland Baptist Church
Can you share your testimony? I was born and raised in a Catholic family. After my husband and I were married a couple years, my husband’s brother and his wife got saved. They would invite us to church every chance they could but we always said “No.” My husband had no interest whatsoever and I had always been taught that I would be a heretic if I even stepped foot in any church other than Catholic. After a few years, my sister-in-law called me at work one day and invited me to their mission’s conference service that night. For some reason, without hesitation, I said “Yes!” I sat in the service and listened intently but nothing really spoke to me. During the invitation, I could hear many people crying and I wondered about this. “Why were all these people crying. Did I miss something?” After I got home, my sister-in-law came in, and I asked her so many questions about God and her church. A few days later my husband mentioned that he was thinking of going to a certain church so I said, “Can we go to Dan & Vicki’s church first?” He agreed so the following Sunday we attended Cleveland Baptist Church. My husband raised his hand for salvation during the invitation and a personal worker asked him if he’d like to come to the altar with him, which he did. I then asked my sister-in-law if she would go to the altar with me. We both got saved in that morning service, then went back for the evening service, and Wednesday night also. We’ve been in church every service since then unless we or the children were ill.
3. How long have you been in the ministry? 26 years
4. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? My husband had struggled with the call to preach for several weeks which I didn’t know about at the time. For me, I remember watching my pastor’s wife constantly and wishing I could be as sweet and godly as she was. I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit was telling me to glean what I could from her although I had no idea why. The last thing I ever would have thought about was God calling my husband to preach. When my husband finally talked to me about what he felt the Lord was speaking to him about, I then realized that the Holy Spirit was preparing my heart to follow God’s leading.
5. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 30 years old when my husband became Pastor of his first church.
6. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I was 23 yrs old when I got saved, less than a year later we left for Bible college which took my husband 6 yrs to complete. From Bible college, we went right into the pastorate. At the time, I thought I was on top of the world and knew everything I needed to know about the Bible and the ministry. I felt more than ready to be a pastor’s wife, I was so excited! Most of the folks at our first church were very respectful and supportive. We did encounter some clashes but as I look back now, I can see that many of the struggles I faced were mostly due to my immaturity. I wanted to show everyone that I could handle being a pastor’s wife and that it was a very special calling which called for special respect. How foolish I was to think that “my title” would be enough to earn respect. I now know that having the title of pastor’s wife does not mean I am to be put on a pedestal! I had to learn to keep my mouth shut, to keep my feelings and opinions to myself (unless asked), and that my main job was to make it easier for my husband to Pastor the church. I learned that most church folks want to be loved unconditionally and accepted for who they are.
7. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? I did not do less in the ministry because of my children. Rather, I probably did less with them because of my involvement in the ministry. The main purpose of my life is to be a helpmeet to my husband and I always felt that he should come first which usually meant helping him in the ministry wherever he needed me. Of course, there must be a balance. Sometimes I look back and wonder if I would have done anything differently if I had the chance and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t.
8. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby… in church and the nursery as soon as possible after church
b. Toddler… again the same as above plus we always made a big deal about Saturday being a day to get things ready for Sunday.
c. School age… our children were always encouraged to get involved in church ministries as soon as they could. We made it a point to talk to them regularly about things going on in the ministries they were involved in.
10. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? We had some pretty rough things happen to us in our years in the ministry so this was something that I always worried about. We always tried to stay positive with our children even through the trials. We were always honest about things going on in our lives but tried to let them see that we were trusting God for the outcome. I believe that our testimony in how we handle the ministry is the best example for our children to have.
11. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? never ever stop praying for your children
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? I am not a naturally submissive person at all! This is something I struggle with constantly although I think I have gotten better as I’ve matured in the Lord. It is one of the top items on my prayer list!
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Listen to him and pray, pray, pray!
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? This is the hardest thing for me to deal with in the ministry. I used to defend him but learned from a wise pastor’s wife not to do that. If a negative comment is made to me, I try to listen, then say “I’m sorry you feel like that” and try to drop it. Then I go home and cry my eyes out! I always pray for that person asking the Lord to change their hearts or show us how we need to change.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? I often cry or fume but then calm down and pray for the situation. I always ask the Lord to show me what I need to learn from this.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? We don’t but this is one area that I would change in our earlier ministry if given the chance. Now I always look forward to Mondays because that is usually my husband’s so called “day off.” He might still do church work that day but it is a much lighter load – we try hard to make it a low key day. Sometimes we go away for the day, sometimes we run errands, and sometimes we want to just stay home.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? That I must share him with others and that my schedule needs to work around his.
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? Sadly I have encountered this many times in the ministry. I actually point it out to my husband so he knows to be careful. He respects that from me and really works hard at not giving special attention. There was an incident once where I had to approach to woman about her flattery to my husband. We both worked with this woman which made it super hard to avoid her. Even after my husband & I both spoke directly to her, she still kept up. Finally, I prayed and told the Lord I couldn’t take it anymore and that he needed to remove her or move me. Within a week, that lady was fired and left the area. For the first time as a Christian, I really learned firsthand how powerful prayer really is!
19. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes, especially if it has something to do with the ministry.
20. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Read the Bible, listen to good Christian music
21. What is your favorite Scripture? Eph. 3:20 “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
22. Do you have a favorite song? Wonderful Grace of Jesus
23. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? Not having a close friend
24. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? Yes, I learned that the hard way. Now I try to just be friendly with all the ladies.
25. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I think it depends on what it is that I am discouraged about. If it has something to do with the ministry or my family, I work very hard not show it. I don’t feel like I always have to be the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife but I also don’t want my discouragement to affect the church.
26. Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? Oh, definitely yes! Of course I never offended anyone intentionally but the Lord always seems to speak to me if there is even the smallest thought that I’ve offended someone. I always go to that person and ask for their forgiveness.
27. Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? I usually don’t go to anyone but if I really need to, I do have several wonderful pastor wives in the area that I would go to without hesitation.
28. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Be faithful to church and be supportive to my husband
29. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I love to plan activities, fellowships, banquets etc. I often get stressed out doing them but in the long run, I enjoy it. I also love doing the office work.
30. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? Not on a regular basis. We do have a yearly Mother/Daughter banquet, ladies Christmas Tea, ladies planning meetings, and other fun activities.
31. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? Our ladies are super and really don’t need any encouragement. They are so willing to do anything that is ever needed.
32. What is the most important thing you pray to pass down to your daughters? I want them to keep the faith and never stop loving the Lord! 2Ti 4:7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:
33. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? Have my personal time with the Lord in the morning before I do anything else. It is always a struggle even though my children are grown and married. Sometimes I wait till my husband leaves for the office when I can be alone.
34. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? That my husband and I are a team serving the Lord together. I am no better than any other church member.
35. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? I don’t believe there is any such person!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Joyanna Barbara is here....Our Birth Story!
Well, after almost 38 weeks of anticipation, Barbara has made her entrance into this world. This pregnancy has been dramatic, so why would her birth be any different? My dr decided to induce early because of all of the problems we have been having in the past few months. I was so excited and so ready for this day!
I went in Tuesday morning for an amniocentesis to make sure that baby's lungs were ready. It was the longest 2 hours of my life waiting for the results! At noon on the dot my phone rang with the good news!
My dr said instead of waiting to be induced until the morning she would try to get me in that night so they could begin the process earlier. I was told to call at 6pm and then we would know for sure if I could get in. Well, I called at like 6:04 so I wouldn't look too anxious! They told me every single room was busy and it wasn't looking like I would be able to get in that night. Matt and I went to run some errands and he took me to Friendly's for dinner. While we were there his phone rang and it was L& D...I was so excited to answer, but they just wanted to know my birthday...boo!! We went home and I tried to get some sleep. After a few hours I took a bath and I was half awake all night long.
I woke up around 5am and gave them a call and they said to call back around 7:30...I was thinking they would NEVER get me in! I fell asleep again and at 6am they called and said to come in! YAY!
We got to the birthing center at 7am and they said there was a jacuzzi suite available....I was wicked excited....little did I know I wouldn't get to use it!!
They checked me in and got me all set and I was feeling very realxed and confident that this would be a quick process...ha! They hooked me up to the monitors and surprise, surprise, baby's heartrate was flat and they wanted to watch her for a while before they started anything. I got checked and was almost 1cm. I got some bloodwork the nurse came in to give me my IV. My nurse was new and you could tell she was not very confident in giving the IV. It probably didn't help that I was a little dehydrated, but the first try she missed and my hand started puffing up with the fluid from the IV....and ouch! She finally got the other one and we were in business!
They were going to start with cytotec and then a few hours later start the pitocin, but because of the heartrate, they were uncomfortable doing that. They called the Dr and they decided to do a pitocin tolerance test first. We passed that test so they decided that the best route would be to go straight to the pitocin. They started the dose at 2ml/hr and every 20 minutes upped it by 2ml. My Dr came in to check on me a couple hours later and I was only 2cm. She said I was way too happy and smiley for being at 16ml of pitocin (seeing that the highest dose is 20ml) and I thought I was a champ, haha. I felt like that would mean that I would be in hardly any pain when they had it at 20ml...and would have it easy. She checked me and I was only 2cm...talk about discouraging! She was going to break my water, but decided to wait for 2 hours.
When she came back 2 hours later, after I had been having consistent, uncomfortable contractions, I thought for sure I would be pretty far along...I was STILL 2 cm, almost 3. She broke my water to move things along, and can you say WEIRDEST feeling ever!?!
An hour later I was very, very uncomfortable so they checked again...4 cm. and for the next four hours, I remained at 4cm. I was in so much pain. It was so awful. I got a dose of some IV pain meds and they worked great...for about 10 minutes! Then another hour went by and I was still a 4. I was crying and in so much more pain than I have ever been in labor at this stage! I was literally begging for a c-section! haha. My dr said I could get an epidural, and I was so happy!! Unfortunately, the epidural guy never showed up, haha. My dr checked me and I was finally 6cm. The contractions were more intense than any other labor I have been in...maybe because of the pitocin? I was very nervous, because during the contractions baby's heartrate was dropping into the 80's, instead of the 120's where it had been. Anyways, she checked me about 20 minutes later and I was at 8cm!! I was so happy things were moving along. The problem was that baby was not descending and was still up high. My dr wouldn't leave the room. She was so amazing and supportive. Most times the Dr just comes in for the delivery, but she was there with me for a good hour. Praise the Lord for such a great doctor!
I got off the bed and onto the birthing ball hoping that would help baby. It was actually such relief to be out of that bed!! I hadn't been able to get out of bed because they had internal monitors on baby's head measuring her heartrate and contractions. I was on the ball for about 5 minutes then back in the bed. I sat up and had about 3 HORRIBLE contractions...I thought I was gonna die. I was so exhausted. I had been up for like 48 hours and hadn't eaten in over 24 and was just feeling so weak. My arms and were feeling numb, my legs were shaking, and I wanted to give up.
All of the sudden I knew it was time!! I yelled, "I have to push!!" And my Dr checked me and yelled down the hall and a bunch of nurses came running in and ripped the bottom of the bed and turned it into the delivery bed, and I had a contraction and I REFUSED to have another after this...I pushed with everything I had left in me and it was such a wonderful feeling! For you ladies that have children, you know exactly that feeling I am talking about. And then I felt that feeling, the final most intense feeling of pressure, and out she flew! It was amazing...Matt and I were both crying with relief and joy and excitement. SHE WAS HERE!!
They tried to give her to me, but her cord was extremely, extremely short, so it didn't reach. It was so short they did not let Matt cut it.
When they handed her to me, I was instantly in love again. I already loved her, but this amazing feeling washed over me...I did it! We made it...and she is beautiful, healthy, and alive. My doctor told me after that ALL of these problems were most likely because of her short cord. Who would have thought!
I was able to snuggle and feed her for about an hour and they took her to the nursery for her bath and weighing and all that goes along with that. They ended up keeping her for a couple hours so that she could be under the warmers for a little while. She came back around 12:30 and I fed her and asked if I could send her to the nursery for the night. I was so very tired and wanted to be able to get some rest so I could enjoy my first day with her. I had such a wonderful sleep. They brought her in around 5:30am to eat and we spent the morning together. She was absolutely perfect and even more precious and beautiful than the night before. The pediatrician came and got her and said she was perfect (I could have told him that!)
We had a great first day together, I feel wonderful today. I took a shower, which felt fantastic, and have no pain, other than some cramping while feeding her.
I am so happy, and even more blessed than you can imagine. Such a long road, but we have arrived at our destination...and this new journey has just begun.
I went in Tuesday morning for an amniocentesis to make sure that baby's lungs were ready. It was the longest 2 hours of my life waiting for the results! At noon on the dot my phone rang with the good news!
My dr said instead of waiting to be induced until the morning she would try to get me in that night so they could begin the process earlier. I was told to call at 6pm and then we would know for sure if I could get in. Well, I called at like 6:04 so I wouldn't look too anxious! They told me every single room was busy and it wasn't looking like I would be able to get in that night. Matt and I went to run some errands and he took me to Friendly's for dinner. While we were there his phone rang and it was L& D...I was so excited to answer, but they just wanted to know my birthday...boo!! We went home and I tried to get some sleep. After a few hours I took a bath and I was half awake all night long.
I woke up around 5am and gave them a call and they said to call back around 7:30...I was thinking they would NEVER get me in! I fell asleep again and at 6am they called and said to come in! YAY!
We got to the birthing center at 7am and they said there was a jacuzzi suite available....I was wicked excited....little did I know I wouldn't get to use it!!
They checked me in and got me all set and I was feeling very realxed and confident that this would be a quick process...ha! They hooked me up to the monitors and surprise, surprise, baby's heartrate was flat and they wanted to watch her for a while before they started anything. I got checked and was almost 1cm. I got some bloodwork the nurse came in to give me my IV. My nurse was new and you could tell she was not very confident in giving the IV. It probably didn't help that I was a little dehydrated, but the first try she missed and my hand started puffing up with the fluid from the IV....and ouch! She finally got the other one and we were in business!
They were going to start with cytotec and then a few hours later start the pitocin, but because of the heartrate, they were uncomfortable doing that. They called the Dr and they decided to do a pitocin tolerance test first. We passed that test so they decided that the best route would be to go straight to the pitocin. They started the dose at 2ml/hr and every 20 minutes upped it by 2ml. My Dr came in to check on me a couple hours later and I was only 2cm. She said I was way too happy and smiley for being at 16ml of pitocin (seeing that the highest dose is 20ml) and I thought I was a champ, haha. I felt like that would mean that I would be in hardly any pain when they had it at 20ml...and would have it easy. She checked me and I was only 2cm...talk about discouraging! She was going to break my water, but decided to wait for 2 hours.
When she came back 2 hours later, after I had been having consistent, uncomfortable contractions, I thought for sure I would be pretty far along...I was STILL 2 cm, almost 3. She broke my water to move things along, and can you say WEIRDEST feeling ever!?!
An hour later I was very, very uncomfortable so they checked again...4 cm. and for the next four hours, I remained at 4cm. I was in so much pain. It was so awful. I got a dose of some IV pain meds and they worked great...for about 10 minutes! Then another hour went by and I was still a 4. I was crying and in so much more pain than I have ever been in labor at this stage! I was literally begging for a c-section! haha. My dr said I could get an epidural, and I was so happy!! Unfortunately, the epidural guy never showed up, haha. My dr checked me and I was finally 6cm. The contractions were more intense than any other labor I have been in...maybe because of the pitocin? I was very nervous, because during the contractions baby's heartrate was dropping into the 80's, instead of the 120's where it had been. Anyways, she checked me about 20 minutes later and I was at 8cm!! I was so happy things were moving along. The problem was that baby was not descending and was still up high. My dr wouldn't leave the room. She was so amazing and supportive. Most times the Dr just comes in for the delivery, but she was there with me for a good hour. Praise the Lord for such a great doctor!
I got off the bed and onto the birthing ball hoping that would help baby. It was actually such relief to be out of that bed!! I hadn't been able to get out of bed because they had internal monitors on baby's head measuring her heartrate and contractions. I was on the ball for about 5 minutes then back in the bed. I sat up and had about 3 HORRIBLE contractions...I thought I was gonna die. I was so exhausted. I had been up for like 48 hours and hadn't eaten in over 24 and was just feeling so weak. My arms and were feeling numb, my legs were shaking, and I wanted to give up.
All of the sudden I knew it was time!! I yelled, "I have to push!!" And my Dr checked me and yelled down the hall and a bunch of nurses came running in and ripped the bottom of the bed and turned it into the delivery bed, and I had a contraction and I REFUSED to have another after this...I pushed with everything I had left in me and it was such a wonderful feeling! For you ladies that have children, you know exactly that feeling I am talking about. And then I felt that feeling, the final most intense feeling of pressure, and out she flew! It was amazing...Matt and I were both crying with relief and joy and excitement. SHE WAS HERE!!
They tried to give her to me, but her cord was extremely, extremely short, so it didn't reach. It was so short they did not let Matt cut it.
When they handed her to me, I was instantly in love again. I already loved her, but this amazing feeling washed over me...I did it! We made it...and she is beautiful, healthy, and alive. My doctor told me after that ALL of these problems were most likely because of her short cord. Who would have thought!
I was able to snuggle and feed her for about an hour and they took her to the nursery for her bath and weighing and all that goes along with that. They ended up keeping her for a couple hours so that she could be under the warmers for a little while. She came back around 12:30 and I fed her and asked if I could send her to the nursery for the night. I was so very tired and wanted to be able to get some rest so I could enjoy my first day with her. I had such a wonderful sleep. They brought her in around 5:30am to eat and we spent the morning together. She was absolutely perfect and even more precious and beautiful than the night before. The pediatrician came and got her and said she was perfect (I could have told him that!)
We had a great first day together, I feel wonderful today. I took a shower, which felt fantastic, and have no pain, other than some cramping while feeding her.
I am so happy, and even more blessed than you can imagine. Such a long road, but we have arrived at our destination...and this new journey has just begun.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Monday, June 6th...Baby Update #6
Well, If you haven't noticed yet, I am postponing our "Ministry Monday" for a couple of weeks because.....I AM HAVING A BABY!!!! yahoo!
This morning I went for my amniocentesis this morning to see if baby's lungs were mature enough to be delivered. I was really nervous going in! Mainly because I have never had a big needle stuck in my stomach before. It wasn't bad at all though. I read to many horror stories before going in, which did not help matters!
Anyways, I got the call at noon on the dot that baby is READY!! So, tonight I am going in to be induced! Please pray that it all goes fast and possibly pitocin free!
I am so excited and so ready to meet my baby!! Thank you all for your prayers!
See ya soon, Barbara Joy!
This morning I went for my amniocentesis this morning to see if baby's lungs were mature enough to be delivered. I was really nervous going in! Mainly because I have never had a big needle stuck in my stomach before. It wasn't bad at all though. I read to many horror stories before going in, which did not help matters!
Anyways, I got the call at noon on the dot that baby is READY!! So, tonight I am going in to be induced! Please pray that it all goes fast and possibly pitocin free!
I am so excited and so ready to meet my baby!! Thank you all for your prayers!
See ya soon, Barbara Joy!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Baby Update #5....37 weeks!
Today I went in for my non stress test and Barbara Joy was a stinker, once again! This time it was more becasue her heartrate was dropping pretty low. Her normal range is not very high anyway, but this was lower. She usually runs between 125ish-150ish....mostly in the 120's and 130's. Today it was dropping into the 100-110 range, so the dr sent me over to labor and delivery. I was so thankful my mom was here, because Matt was in a different hospital a few miles away becasue he had knee surgery yesterday.
After 6 hours of monitoring, the dr decided she will do an amnio on Monday morning to check baby's lung development and if she is ready, I will be induced on Tuesday as long as they can fit me in. I do not want to be induced, but if that is what needs to happen, I am ready.
I am a little worried about the whole thing more because as of right now, Matt cannot walk and he will not be able to help at all. I was thinking about the little things like carrying the carseat when I am not supposed to be lifting, etc. This is a rough time for everything to pile on at once, but I am thankful the Lord has a plan, and someday, we will look back on this time and remember how the Lord brought us through this time and it will bring us joy.
So, either way I will have a baby 2 weeks or less from today. I am praying that I will just go into labor on my own, but I guess my ultimate prayer is for God's will ( I just want that to be it ;)
So, I will keep you posted! Pray for us....we need it!! =)
After 6 hours of monitoring, the dr decided she will do an amnio on Monday morning to check baby's lung development and if she is ready, I will be induced on Tuesday as long as they can fit me in. I do not want to be induced, but if that is what needs to happen, I am ready.
I am a little worried about the whole thing more because as of right now, Matt cannot walk and he will not be able to help at all. I was thinking about the little things like carrying the carseat when I am not supposed to be lifting, etc. This is a rough time for everything to pile on at once, but I am thankful the Lord has a plan, and someday, we will look back on this time and remember how the Lord brought us through this time and it will bring us joy.
So, either way I will have a baby 2 weeks or less from today. I am praying that I will just go into labor on my own, but I guess my ultimate prayer is for God's will ( I just want that to be it ;)
So, I will keep you posted! Pray for us....we need it!! =)
Monday, May 30, 2011
Mrs. Barbie Smith....Wife of the Week
Husband’s Position- Pastor of Tri-City Baptist Church in Vestal, NY
How long have you been married? 8 years on the 14th!
How many children do you have? How old are they? 3 children: Selah-5, Sam-2, Elliana-1 and one to come in 2 weeks!!
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? I met Matt when I was 11 years old when we moved to Syracuse Ny and became members of the church his dad pastored....for me it was love at first sight...but for him I was just an annoying 11 yr old (he was 14)...we started dating when I was 15 and he was 18.
2. When did you get saved? I was 6 years old
3. Can you share your testimony? I was saved when I was 6. I sort of strayed a little in Jr High and the beginning of High School, but at 15, when I was in 10th grade, I rededicated my life to the Lord and have not looked back.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? My husband was a Youth Pastor at a church the first year we were married, which was during our last year of Bible College, so it will be 8 years in August
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? When I was little, I always wanted to be a missionary. As I became a teen ager, I lost sight of that and wanted to be a dancer or some kind of athlete....I also really wanted to be an undercover cop, lol....When I turned 15, I surrendered my life to the Lord to be in full time service.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 19 when he became a youth pastor and I was 22 when he became the Pastor of the church we started
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I did have a hard time, and still do occasionally. I was only 19 when my hubby was the youth pastor, so it was a little weird being only a year older than some of the teens! It didn't help that I looked the same age as them! As far as being a Pastor's wife at 22, I felt very inadequate. I still have moments when I feel like I have nothing to offer because of my age (I just turned 27). I don't have tons of life experience yet, but I have come to realize that it does not matter. God called me to be Matt's wife, and Matt happens to be a Pastor, and He will equip me to be the servant to others that I need to be. When I first became a PW, I felt like I had to have something to say anytime someone sought counsel...In the past 4 1/2 years I have learned that that is not true...Sometimes ladies just want to talk, and all we need to do is listen. I have also learned that I have no wisdom on my own, and the best thing I can do is quote Scripture to someone.......and I love how te Lord always brings the right one to me just when I need it
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? Yes and YES! Right before I had my 3rd baby, I was feeling very down and even a little depressed in my role. I felt like I was missing out on everything that was happening in the church. Before I had kids, and even when I just had 1, I did EVERYTHING with Matt, and I loved being able to be involved in everything! Well, the more kids that came along, the more difficult is was for me to be involved in everything, and I was just so miserable when Matt would go off to a meeting that did not provide nursery, or when I could not go door knocking, or help with things at the church. I just felt really left out. I vented a bit and sougt some counsel from some wonderful PW's and through them and prayer, I understood more that my role is first as a wife and mother and it is ok for things to go on without me there. Now I can finally say that I am ok with being a mommy to my almost 4 babies and am content in the role God has given me. I know as they get older I will able to be more involved in the church, but for now, my main ministry is to my wonderful family and I do my very best to help my husband where he needs me in the church.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby…lots of visits to the older people...they love babies!
b. Toddler…having them greet people and making sure I teach them to help clean up in the nursery. Also, teaching them to be quiet and respectful while mommy & daddy are talking...easier said than done, of course =)
c. School age…Selah, my 5 yr old helps a lot by watching my kids in the nursery during the song service when I cannot be in the nursery. She helps clean up and greets people. She also occupies the younger ones if we have to counsel with anyone
10. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? We try to teach them that we don’t “have” to go to church but, we “get” to go to church. I try to teach them to be servants and to think about others. Also, not getting upset when they are just not in the mood
11. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? lol, not at all. I never have a problem following a final decision my husband makes, BUT....for some reason I feel the need to make my opinion very known before that decision is made. I have a hard time just keeping my mouth shut and letting him talk to the Lord about it....I am working on it, though...no, really, I am ;)
12. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? I try to give him extra attention. Sounds dumb, but ordering pizza & wings makes him happy, lol, so I'll suggest that on a rough night. If I feel the same way, and am frustrated also, I try to keep my mouth shut because me "venting" along with him just makes it worse...(learned from lots of experience;)
13, What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Put them first before ministries (not before the Lord, but "church things"). Neglecting your children is a sure way to ruin their outlook on the ministry and even on Christianity itself...they are our first ministry
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Not good. This is very hard for me because I know my husband and see all of the work he does and the love and compassion he has for people. He is so genuine and amazing...to see/hear people criticizing him...I could punch them, lol. But so far I have refrained. I really have to pray. However, any time people have come to me directly about my husband, I always make it very clear that I am his wife and I stand behind his decisions 100% and if they have a problem, they need to go to him and not to me. I hate when people try to use me as a "middle-man"...Once they come to me once, it never happens again, lol.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? It depends who it comes from. Some people I just ignore and then some I really take to heart. I can deal with personal criticisms way better than I can those about my husband. I don't know why, but I can. I haven't had to deal with too many, but when I do, I try to look at it and see if it is something I really need to change and pray about it. I always want to be teachable and never so dead set in my ways that I miss out on someone trying to help me.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? We go out alone once a month and usually have the kiddos in bed around 8 every night so we can spend the evening together. Laying in bed at night is my favorite time where we just talk for hours about all kinds of things.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? My first and most important job is to be his wife. I need to make sure his needs are met and make sure I am available to help him where he needs it. I have learned that he is called by God to serve others is a very special way, and I have to be flexible with my schedule to allow him to be at his full potential fot the Lord. I cannot try to squander all of his time, becuase he will not be happy unless he is in God's will, and that means giving his life for others.
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I make sure his physical and emotional needs are met at home. I brag on him to others so he has no need to look anywhere else for love, respect, and attention. I never put him down or criticize anything he does or says in public (still working on the at home part ;) If I see a girl or lady with any "suspicious" (lol) behavior, I go right over there and stand around until she gets the picture. This is very serious to me...I have seen too many ministries ruined by an unsuspecting man. I will not allow that to happen to us. I also pray daily for Matt that the Lord would protect his mind and heart from any temptation...I figure if I wear him out at home he won't have anything left to give to some lady trying to steal him away from me;) He needs to know I think he is the strongest, most amazing man on earth. If he feels that from me, he won't be looking for it from any one else.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? Not like I would like
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Having Scripture memorized has been a big help to me. Also, I love to sing, and everytime I amd down, the Lord puts a song in my heart for that moment. I sing all day long, and find that it is hard to complain while you are praising Him!
22. What is your favorite Scripture? Isaiah 43:2 is one of my favorites...I have SO many, though!
23. Do you have a favorite song? I have SO many!! "We're It Not For Grace" is near the top...I just love songs about God's grace
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? People...I love people, but they are so frustrating sometimes. It seems like the ones you do the most for are the ones that hurt you the most. But, we are all sinners and none of us are perfect. I think the hardest is trying to teach people to be faithful. So many people are up one day and down the next....It is hard to help people like that.
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I try to spend individual time with each lady and make them all feel like they can come to me. I do not have any favorites and do not share any personal details about my husband or any one else in the church with them and I think it that is wise.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I do not show my discouragemnt for the most part. I make sure I am always happy on the outside, even though sometimes I am struggling on the inside. I am not saying that is right, but I strive to be the best example I can be I do share prayer requests and one time I did open my heart at a ladies meeting and lost it emotionally (not yelling, lol...just crying) but that was only once. I felt a little funny after, so I try my best to keep it together
27.Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? No main situations come to mind, but I am sure I have. I would absolutely apologize and try to mend the reationship.
28.Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? ABSOLUTELY! God has blessed me with some very good ministry friends.
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Just be faithful!! Offering to watch my kids for a couple hours is always nice, too!
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I love to sing and play the piano. Ladies meetings are fun, too!
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? We were doing a monthly "LIFT" (ladies in fellowship together), but we have not in a few months...it's been a crazy time for us
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I just ask for help. We are a small church, so help is limited, but they don't know they are needed until you ask.
33. What is the most important thing you pray to pass down to your daughters? To love their husbands & children. to love others and always be compassionate and unselfish
34. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? This is an area I struggle with. I always plan on having a set time, but with the little ones it is hard. Some days I squeeze it in just to say I have done it, even though that does not please the Lord. Shamefully, there are some days my Bible goes unopened...but I do find that when I rise early before the kids I have my best/most meaningful time with the Lord.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? I am not any more special than any other woman. Being a Pastor's Wife does not make me any better than a plumber's wife....it just means the Lord allowed me to marry a man who was a Pastor. I am to be a humble servant, not someone walking around expecting those in the church to bow to her because she is married to their Pastor.
36. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? One who puts the Lord first. One who is the best wife she can be to her husband; the best mommy to her children. Someone who is not afraid to admit they do not have all of the answers, but they know the One who does. Someone who is willing to do anything, whether it be giving an elaborate devotion to 1,000 ladies or cleaning the toilets when nobody one knows.
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? I met Matt when I was 11 years old when we moved to Syracuse Ny and became members of the church his dad pastored....for me it was love at first sight...but for him I was just an annoying 11 yr old (he was 14)...we started dating when I was 15 and he was 18.
2. When did you get saved? I was 6 years old
3. Can you share your testimony? I was saved when I was 6. I sort of strayed a little in Jr High and the beginning of High School, but at 15, when I was in 10th grade, I rededicated my life to the Lord and have not looked back.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? My husband was a Youth Pastor at a church the first year we were married, which was during our last year of Bible College, so it will be 8 years in August
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? When I was little, I always wanted to be a missionary. As I became a teen ager, I lost sight of that and wanted to be a dancer or some kind of athlete....I also really wanted to be an undercover cop, lol....When I turned 15, I surrendered my life to the Lord to be in full time service.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 19 when he became a youth pastor and I was 22 when he became the Pastor of the church we started
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I did have a hard time, and still do occasionally. I was only 19 when my hubby was the youth pastor, so it was a little weird being only a year older than some of the teens! It didn't help that I looked the same age as them! As far as being a Pastor's wife at 22, I felt very inadequate. I still have moments when I feel like I have nothing to offer because of my age (I just turned 27). I don't have tons of life experience yet, but I have come to realize that it does not matter. God called me to be Matt's wife, and Matt happens to be a Pastor, and He will equip me to be the servant to others that I need to be. When I first became a PW, I felt like I had to have something to say anytime someone sought counsel...In the past 4 1/2 years I have learned that that is not true...Sometimes ladies just want to talk, and all we need to do is listen. I have also learned that I have no wisdom on my own, and the best thing I can do is quote Scripture to someone.......and I love how te Lord always brings the right one to me just when I need it
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? Yes and YES! Right before I had my 3rd baby, I was feeling very down and even a little depressed in my role. I felt like I was missing out on everything that was happening in the church. Before I had kids, and even when I just had 1, I did EVERYTHING with Matt, and I loved being able to be involved in everything! Well, the more kids that came along, the more difficult is was for me to be involved in everything, and I was just so miserable when Matt would go off to a meeting that did not provide nursery, or when I could not go door knocking, or help with things at the church. I just felt really left out. I vented a bit and sougt some counsel from some wonderful PW's and through them and prayer, I understood more that my role is first as a wife and mother and it is ok for things to go on without me there. Now I can finally say that I am ok with being a mommy to my almost 4 babies and am content in the role God has given me. I know as they get older I will able to be more involved in the church, but for now, my main ministry is to my wonderful family and I do my very best to help my husband where he needs me in the church.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby…lots of visits to the older people...they love babies!
b. Toddler…having them greet people and making sure I teach them to help clean up in the nursery. Also, teaching them to be quiet and respectful while mommy & daddy are talking...easier said than done, of course =)
c. School age…Selah, my 5 yr old helps a lot by watching my kids in the nursery during the song service when I cannot be in the nursery. She helps clean up and greets people. She also occupies the younger ones if we have to counsel with anyone
10. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? We try to teach them that we don’t “have” to go to church but, we “get” to go to church. I try to teach them to be servants and to think about others. Also, not getting upset when they are just not in the mood
11. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? lol, not at all. I never have a problem following a final decision my husband makes, BUT....for some reason I feel the need to make my opinion very known before that decision is made. I have a hard time just keeping my mouth shut and letting him talk to the Lord about it....I am working on it, though...no, really, I am ;)
12. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? I try to give him extra attention. Sounds dumb, but ordering pizza & wings makes him happy, lol, so I'll suggest that on a rough night. If I feel the same way, and am frustrated also, I try to keep my mouth shut because me "venting" along with him just makes it worse...(learned from lots of experience;)
13, What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? Put them first before ministries (not before the Lord, but "church things"). Neglecting your children is a sure way to ruin their outlook on the ministry and even on Christianity itself...they are our first ministry
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? Not good. This is very hard for me because I know my husband and see all of the work he does and the love and compassion he has for people. He is so genuine and amazing...to see/hear people criticizing him...I could punch them, lol. But so far I have refrained. I really have to pray. However, any time people have come to me directly about my husband, I always make it very clear that I am his wife and I stand behind his decisions 100% and if they have a problem, they need to go to him and not to me. I hate when people try to use me as a "middle-man"...Once they come to me once, it never happens again, lol.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? It depends who it comes from. Some people I just ignore and then some I really take to heart. I can deal with personal criticisms way better than I can those about my husband. I don't know why, but I can. I haven't had to deal with too many, but when I do, I try to look at it and see if it is something I really need to change and pray about it. I always want to be teachable and never so dead set in my ways that I miss out on someone trying to help me.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? We go out alone once a month and usually have the kiddos in bed around 8 every night so we can spend the evening together. Laying in bed at night is my favorite time where we just talk for hours about all kinds of things.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? My first and most important job is to be his wife. I need to make sure his needs are met and make sure I am available to help him where he needs it. I have learned that he is called by God to serve others is a very special way, and I have to be flexible with my schedule to allow him to be at his full potential fot the Lord. I cannot try to squander all of his time, becuase he will not be happy unless he is in God's will, and that means giving his life for others.
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I make sure his physical and emotional needs are met at home. I brag on him to others so he has no need to look anywhere else for love, respect, and attention. I never put him down or criticize anything he does or says in public (still working on the at home part ;) If I see a girl or lady with any "suspicious" (lol) behavior, I go right over there and stand around until she gets the picture. This is very serious to me...I have seen too many ministries ruined by an unsuspecting man. I will not allow that to happen to us. I also pray daily for Matt that the Lord would protect his mind and heart from any temptation...I figure if I wear him out at home he won't have anything left to give to some lady trying to steal him away from me;) He needs to know I think he is the strongest, most amazing man on earth. If he feels that from me, he won't be looking for it from any one else.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? Not like I would like
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Having Scripture memorized has been a big help to me. Also, I love to sing, and everytime I amd down, the Lord puts a song in my heart for that moment. I sing all day long, and find that it is hard to complain while you are praising Him!
22. What is your favorite Scripture? Isaiah 43:2 is one of my favorites...I have SO many, though!
23. Do you have a favorite song? I have SO many!! "We're It Not For Grace" is near the top...I just love songs about God's grace
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? People...I love people, but they are so frustrating sometimes. It seems like the ones you do the most for are the ones that hurt you the most. But, we are all sinners and none of us are perfect. I think the hardest is trying to teach people to be faithful. So many people are up one day and down the next....It is hard to help people like that.
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? I try to spend individual time with each lady and make them all feel like they can come to me. I do not have any favorites and do not share any personal details about my husband or any one else in the church with them and I think it that is wise.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I do not show my discouragemnt for the most part. I make sure I am always happy on the outside, even though sometimes I am struggling on the inside. I am not saying that is right, but I strive to be the best example I can be I do share prayer requests and one time I did open my heart at a ladies meeting and lost it emotionally (not yelling, lol...just crying) but that was only once. I felt a little funny after, so I try my best to keep it together
27.Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? No main situations come to mind, but I am sure I have. I would absolutely apologize and try to mend the reationship.
28.Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? ABSOLUTELY! God has blessed me with some very good ministry friends.
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Just be faithful!! Offering to watch my kids for a couple hours is always nice, too!
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I love to sing and play the piano. Ladies meetings are fun, too!
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? We were doing a monthly "LIFT" (ladies in fellowship together), but we have not in a few months...it's been a crazy time for us
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I just ask for help. We are a small church, so help is limited, but they don't know they are needed until you ask.
33. What is the most important thing you pray to pass down to your daughters? To love their husbands & children. to love others and always be compassionate and unselfish
34. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? This is an area I struggle with. I always plan on having a set time, but with the little ones it is hard. Some days I squeeze it in just to say I have done it, even though that does not please the Lord. Shamefully, there are some days my Bible goes unopened...but I do find that when I rise early before the kids I have my best/most meaningful time with the Lord.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? I am not any more special than any other woman. Being a Pastor's Wife does not make me any better than a plumber's wife....it just means the Lord allowed me to marry a man who was a Pastor. I am to be a humble servant, not someone walking around expecting those in the church to bow to her because she is married to their Pastor.
36. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? One who puts the Lord first. One who is the best wife she can be to her husband; the best mommy to her children. Someone who is not afraid to admit they do not have all of the answers, but they know the One who does. Someone who is willing to do anything, whether it be giving an elaborate devotion to 1,000 ladies or cleaning the toilets when nobody one knows.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
A work in progress....
Do you ever have those days when you just feel overwhelmed!? I am so feeling like that today. I am normally a "go with the flow" person, but this has been a tiring and trying week!
As you know I am blessed with a fantastic husband! He is seriously amazing. He helps me do anything and everything....Well, Tuesday night he was playing basketball and he dislocated his knee and tore a tendon, which means he has not been able to do anything, literally! He cannot help carry the kidsaround or help get them in the car. He can't walk upstairs to our bedroom so he is currently sleeping on the couch. He has a super hard time going in a store because it is so hard for him to walk, even with the crutches. It takes him 5 minutes to get into the car, and just all of the little things are nearly impossible right now.
I am not trying to complain, even though I am complaining, lol, but just feeling very overwhelmed. Normally, these things wouldn't bother me, but being a 36+ week preggo mommy of 3 (who via the Dr is supposed to be getting lots of rest), I am having a slightly hard time adjusting to this.
I understand that some of you are military wives/mommies or single who do everything by yourself all of the time, but for me, a spoiled wife blessed with a hardworking and helpful husband, I am just worn out! Funny thing?? It has only been 3 days!!
Today we found out he has to have surgery next week, which means 6-8 weeks for recovery and physical therapy. Again, normally, not so bad, but all my mind can picture is me with a needy husband, a newborn, and a 1, 2, and 5 year old...I may possibly just lose all sanity.
Now, I do feel awful for him...this really isn't all about me, and I know that. I don't know how he'll be able to stand there and preach 4 times a week at our church! Plus, he is now the interim Pastor for a church 45 minutes away that we drive to after our own services on Sunday, which we are very excited about! But, I am just not thrilled with the timing of all of this!
It really makes me wonder why God doesn't allow us to schedule our trials? Maybe because I never would, haha. This has just been a crazy year for us. Neither of us have ever had any health problems or any kinds of injury, but all of the sudden we are breaking bones, having crazy pregnancies, and all of this other stuff....does that mean we are getting old? hmmmm....?
Anyways, I'd appreciate some prayers, especially for my husband. This is even harder on him, I think, because he is such a hard worker. He can't sit down for 5 minutes without getting up to do something. He feels so helpless and I hate that he feels that way. He is still amazing in every way to me, though <3
So, anyways, this is the end of depressing post, haha.
I will say one thing, though. I know that the Lord has a plan for our lives, and through these little trials He is sending our way, there is something He is trying to teach us. And obviously, I am not learning quickly enough because He is feeling the need to pile them up at once...saying, "Trust Me." "I will take care of this." "Give me your burdens." and for some reason, I feel the need to say "I do trust you, but I'll handle it my way"....So, tonight is the night I am giving it all back. I don't want to deal with any of it. I have no reason to worry about how I will handle the stresses of being a mommy of 4, because God is the one who gave me the 4! He is surely going to take care of my husband and He will give me the peace I need when I am discouraged that the laundry is piling up or when I just feel like I am not able to work at my full potential of wife & mommy....He knows. and knowing He knows, and that He planned it makes me feel good. It shows me that He isn't quite through working on me. He sees something that he can mold into a finer vessel for Him. I am SO not close to ever being perfect, but I know that if I allow Him to give me trials, and I allow Him to change me through those trials, I will become more and more like Him.
It makes me think of the children's song...
As you know I am blessed with a fantastic husband! He is seriously amazing. He helps me do anything and everything....Well, Tuesday night he was playing basketball and he dislocated his knee and tore a tendon, which means he has not been able to do anything, literally! He cannot help carry the kidsaround or help get them in the car. He can't walk upstairs to our bedroom so he is currently sleeping on the couch. He has a super hard time going in a store because it is so hard for him to walk, even with the crutches. It takes him 5 minutes to get into the car, and just all of the little things are nearly impossible right now.
I am not trying to complain, even though I am complaining, lol, but just feeling very overwhelmed. Normally, these things wouldn't bother me, but being a 36+ week preggo mommy of 3 (who via the Dr is supposed to be getting lots of rest), I am having a slightly hard time adjusting to this.
I understand that some of you are military wives/mommies or single who do everything by yourself all of the time, but for me, a spoiled wife blessed with a hardworking and helpful husband, I am just worn out! Funny thing?? It has only been 3 days!!
Today we found out he has to have surgery next week, which means 6-8 weeks for recovery and physical therapy. Again, normally, not so bad, but all my mind can picture is me with a needy husband, a newborn, and a 1, 2, and 5 year old...I may possibly just lose all sanity.
Now, I do feel awful for him...this really isn't all about me, and I know that. I don't know how he'll be able to stand there and preach 4 times a week at our church! Plus, he is now the interim Pastor for a church 45 minutes away that we drive to after our own services on Sunday, which we are very excited about! But, I am just not thrilled with the timing of all of this!
It really makes me wonder why God doesn't allow us to schedule our trials? Maybe because I never would, haha. This has just been a crazy year for us. Neither of us have ever had any health problems or any kinds of injury, but all of the sudden we are breaking bones, having crazy pregnancies, and all of this other stuff....does that mean we are getting old? hmmmm....?
Anyways, I'd appreciate some prayers, especially for my husband. This is even harder on him, I think, because he is such a hard worker. He can't sit down for 5 minutes without getting up to do something. He feels so helpless and I hate that he feels that way. He is still amazing in every way to me, though <3
So, anyways, this is the end of depressing post, haha.
I will say one thing, though. I know that the Lord has a plan for our lives, and through these little trials He is sending our way, there is something He is trying to teach us. And obviously, I am not learning quickly enough because He is feeling the need to pile them up at once...saying, "Trust Me." "I will take care of this." "Give me your burdens." and for some reason, I feel the need to say "I do trust you, but I'll handle it my way"....So, tonight is the night I am giving it all back. I don't want to deal with any of it. I have no reason to worry about how I will handle the stresses of being a mommy of 4, because God is the one who gave me the 4! He is surely going to take care of my husband and He will give me the peace I need when I am discouraged that the laundry is piling up or when I just feel like I am not able to work at my full potential of wife & mommy....He knows. and knowing He knows, and that He planned it makes me feel good. It shows me that He isn't quite through working on me. He sees something that he can mold into a finer vessel for Him. I am SO not close to ever being perfect, but I know that if I allow Him to give me trials, and I allow Him to change me through those trials, I will become more and more like Him.
It makes me think of the children's song...
"He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be!
It took him just a week to make the moon & stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter & Mars.
How loving and patient He must be!
He's still working on me."
Amen. I am so glad He is!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Wife of the Week!! Mrs. Debbie Dunham
Husband’s Position- Pastor of Victory Baptist Church in Vail, AZ
How long have you been married? 30 years
How many children do you have? How old are they? 4 children: Danny-28, Anthony-27, Melody-25 and Harmony-almost 24
1. Where/How did you meet your husband? I met Dan in N.C at a Shoneys Big Boy restaurant. I went to visit my sister and he and a friend came to the restaurant to meet me.
2. When did you get saved? I made assurance of my salvation at the age of 13 in Denver, Co.
3. Can you share your testimony? I was born and raised in a Baptist home but church was not priority. My parents did make sure though, that as teens, we attended the youth activities. After hearing an Evangelist preach on hell and the unpardonable sin, I decided that I would make sure of my salvation. My mom had always told me that I prayed the sinners prayer but, I wanted it to be something that I could remember.
4. How long have you been in the ministry? All my married life and even before. We worked with a Pastor in PA while finishing our 1st year of Bible college and then we got married that summer and have worked in the ministry since.
5. How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life?
1 year after I was saved, I surrendered my life to the Lord for whatever He wanted. There was no question in my mind that God wanted me to be a Pastors wife…Never a doubt! I was excited and wouldn’t date any guy if he wasn’t interested in the ministry.
6. How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 19 when he was on staff in PA as youth pastor. I was 25 when he started as Assistant Pastor in Syracuse, NY and then 36 when he surrendered to church planting. I was 43 when we came here to Vail to start this work.
7. And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? Not really. Some adults would challenge my husband as to decisions and how he would handle certain situations because they said that we were so young but, the Pastors always supported us or if they felt wrong decisions were made then he would help with that.
8. Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? The hardest part was not being able to attend Pastors meetings especially when they were a long distance away. I loved hearing from seasoned Pastors wives and glean from them. Most of the time we would take our kids with us or we always had it set up where a parent could watch the kids.
9. What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?
a. Baby…Always at church, in the nursery. Including visitation
b. Toddler…This is when they learned how to sit quietly in church. Because I was involved in the music ministry, I couldn’t work in the Sunday p.m. toddler class so the kids always sat with me.
c. School age…Made sure they attended activities. If I had work to do at the church I would bring them and let them help or they would play and then learn the importance of cleaning up and respecting the church building. As teens they always knocked on doors with us and helped us with the 2 churches that God allowed us to start in upstate NY. They were involved In the music and Jr. churches as well.
10. Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? Always a concern about that. We would try to teach them that we don’t “have” to go to church but, we “get” to go to church and ALWAYS a listening ear. I never got angry when they would ask “why” but would try to encourage them in the Lord.
11. What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? LISTEN to your children. We don’t always feel like going to church or visitation…who’s going to yell at us about that? Show understanding and spend as much time with them aside from church. HAVE FUN!! LET YOUR HAIR DOWN SOMETIMES! My daughters remember how silly I would be at the mall or in the store. Show them your fun side. Individual time with each as well.
12. Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? Extremely submissive. I don’t want the responsibility sometimes, of making decisions.
13. What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Give him my ear. I don’t try to give advice. If he’s stubborn, I ask him “when was the last time you took it to God” We have spent some nights just talking and sharing concerns and burdens and of course PRAYER!
14. How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? I tell them to pray for their pastor and that they should talk to him about it.
15. How do you deal with personal criticisms? I say “thank you” and then I ask God to show me if I need to work in that area.
16. Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? Not really. We should though. With all the kids grown it’s a little different than when they were young. Years ago, yes.
17. What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? Keep my mouth shut! Words can do much harm.
18. What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? I have a serious talk with the Lord and then carefully talk to my husband about it. Sometimes they just don’t see what we do.
19. Do you and your husband have devotion or prayer time together daily? Our schedules are so messed up. When we are together we do, most of the time.
20. Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes, sometimes and then when I do talk to him about it I find out that he has the same burden and then there is that special time of prayer.
21. What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? My prayer life is so important to me. I have spent hours audibly crying out to God and WOW! I can’t imagine life without my Bible and prayer.
22. What is your favorite Scripture? Prov. 3:5,6
23. Do you have a favorite song? Many…”It is well” is on the top of my list
24. What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? With the church…peoples faithfulness, for myself…finding time to clean my house LOL! True though.
25. Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? No, I try to spend individual time with each lady at some point. Easy to do right now with a small church.
26. When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeve but, I am careful about it. I guess it depends on what’s bothering me too.
27.Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? There have definitely been times that I have said something or done something that offended or hurt someone. Usually I cry first and then I ask that person for forgiveness. There have also been times that I have been accused falsely and I will kindly and gently inform that person that it was a terrible misunderstanding. Sometimes they see it and other times they won’t accept that and it takes time to restore that relationship. PRAYER is the best thing!!
28.Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? ABSOLUTELY! God has blessed me with some very good ministry friends.
29. Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Just love me for me and attend the ladies meetings. I just vented a little J
30. What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? Planning ladies meetings and studies.
31. Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? No Bible study right now. I try to have meetings once a month for 8-9 months.
32. What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? I ask them to do things that are needed. I will tell them that I can’t nor do I want to do it all. I want them to be in on the blessings as well.
33. What is the most important thing you pray to pass down to your daughters? To teach their children (my grandkids) to love the Lord and to be faithful to HIM.
34. In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? My time is in the evening. I love going to bed with the Lord on my mind.
35. Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? Wait on the Lord. Bring ALL to Him.
36. How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? One who’s not afraid for others to see that she’s not perfect.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)