*Mrs. Laura Faulk*...Wife of the Week!

Husband’s Position- Pastor, First Baptist Church of Groton, MA

How long have you been married? 37 years
How many children/grandchildren do you have? How old are they? We have 4 children, 6 grandchildren, and 3 grandchildren on the way

Our son Tom is 35 yrs old. He has 4 children: Ginnie (12), Andrew (10), Aaron (9), Timothy (2)

Our daughter Shannon is 33 years old. She has 1 child: Lauryn (19 mos) and a boy due Aug. 5

Our daughter Karyn is 29 years old. She has 1 child: Isaiah (5 yrs) and twins due Feb. 5

Our son Joe is 27 years old. He is married but no children yet.

1.      Where/How did you meet your husband? I met my husband during my senior year of high school while working a part time job in downtown Cleveland, Ohio

2.      When did you get saved? March 19, 1978 at Cleveland Baptist Church

Can you share your testimony? I was born and raised in a Catholic family. After my husband and I were married a couple years, my husband’s brother and his wife got saved. They would invite us to church every chance they could but we always said “No.” My husband had no interest whatsoever and I had always been taught that I would be a heretic if I even stepped foot in any church other than Catholic.  After a few years, my sister-in-law called me at work one day and invited me to their mission’s conference service that night. For some reason, without hesitation, I said “Yes!” I sat in the service and listened intently but nothing really spoke to me. During the invitation, I could hear many people crying and I wondered about this. “Why were all these people crying. Did I miss something?” After I got home, my sister-in-law came in, and I asked her so many questions about God and her church. A few days later my husband mentioned that he was thinking of going to a certain church so I said, “Can we go to Dan & Vicki’s church first?” He agreed so the following Sunday we attended Cleveland Baptist Church. My husband raised his hand for salvation during the invitation and a personal worker asked him if he’d like to come to the altar with him, which he did. I then asked my sister-in-law if she would go to the altar with me. We both got saved in that morning service, then went back for the evening service, and Wednesday night also. We’ve been in church every service since then unless we or the children were ill.

3.      How long have you been in the ministry? 26 years

4.      How did you know the Lord wanted you in the ministry? Was it hard for you to submit to that or did you know 100% sure right away that this is what God wanted for your life? My husband had struggled with the call to preach for several weeks which I didn’t know about at the time. For me, I remember watching my pastor’s wife constantly and wishing I could be as sweet and godly as she was. I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit was telling me to glean what I could from her although I had no idea why. The last thing I ever would have thought about was God calling my husband to preach. When my husband finally talked to me about what he felt the Lord was speaking to him about, I then realized that the Holy Spirit was preparing my heart to follow God’s leading.

5.      How old were you when you your husband first held a position of leadership? I was 30 years old when my husband became Pastor of his first church.

6.      And if you were young, did you have a hard time adjusting because of your age? Did you feel “ready” to be in that position? Did you feel you had a harder time being respected or taken seriously because of your age? I was 23 yrs old when I got saved, less than a year later we left for Bible college which took my husband 6 yrs to complete. From Bible college, we went right into the pastorate. At the time, I thought I was on top of the world and knew everything I needed to know about the Bible and the ministry. I felt more than ready to be a pastor’s wife, I was so excited! Most of the folks at our first church were very respectful and supportive. We did encounter some clashes but as I look back now, I can see that many of the struggles I faced were mostly due to my immaturity. I wanted to show everyone that I could handle being a pastor’s wife and that it was a very special calling which called for special respect. How foolish I was to think that “my title” would be enough to earn respect. I now know that having the title of pastor’s wife does not mean I am to be put on a pedestal! I had to learn to keep my mouth shut, to keep my feelings and opinions to myself (unless asked), and that my main job was to make it easier for my husband to Pastor the church. I learned that most church folks want to be loved unconditionally and accepted for who they are.

7.      Once you had children did you find you did less in the ministry and was that hard for you? I did not do less in the ministry because of my children.  Rather, I probably did less with them because of my involvement in the ministry. The main purpose of my life is to be a helpmeet to my husband and I always felt that he should come first which usually meant helping him in the ministry wherever he needed me. Of course, there must be a balance. Sometimes I look back and wonder if I would have done anything differently if I had the chance and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t.

8.      What are some ways you included and involved your children in the ministry?

a.      Baby… in church and the nursery as soon as possible after church

b.      Toddler… again the same as above plus we always made a big deal about Saturday being a day to get things ready for Sunday.

c.   School age… our children were always encouraged to get involved in church  ministries   as soon as they could. We made it a point to talk to them regularly about things going on in the ministries they were involved in.

10.  Do you ever worry that your children will resent the ministry and what are some ways you tried to make it fun for them? We had some pretty rough things happen to us in our years in the ministry so this was something that I always worried about. We always tried to stay positive with our children even through the trials. We were always honest about things going on in our lives but tried to let them see that we were trusting God for the outcome. I believe that our testimony in how we handle the ministry is the best example for our children to have.

11.  What would be the best thing you would tell a mom who is raising her children in the ministry? never ever stop praying for your children

12.  Are you naturally a submissive person or do you sometimes have a hard time easily following your husband? I am not a naturally submissive person at all! This is something I struggle with constantly although I think I have gotten better as I’ve matured in the Lord. It is one of the top items on my prayer list!

13.  What do you do to encourage your husband when he is discouraged with the work? Listen to him and pray, pray, pray!

14.  How do deal with any criticism toward your husband from others? This is the hardest thing for me to deal with in the ministry. I used to defend him but learned from a wise pastor’s wife not to do that. If a negative comment is made to me, I try to listen, then say “I’m sorry you feel like that” and try to drop it.  Then I go home and cry my eyes out!  I always pray for that person asking the Lord to change their hearts or show us how we need to change.

15.  How do you deal with personal criticisms? I often cry or fume but then calm down and pray for the situation. I always ask the Lord to show me what I need to learn from this.

16.  Do you set aside date nights/days with your husband? We don’t but this is one area that I would change in our earlier ministry if given the chance. Now I always look forward to Mondays because that is usually my husband’s so called “day off.” He might still do church work that day but it is a much lighter load – we try hard to make it a low key day. Sometimes we go away for the day, sometimes we run errands, and sometimes we want to just stay home.

17.  What is the biggest thing you have learned about being married to a man in the ministry? That I must share him with others and that my schedule needs to work around his.

18.   What are some ways you protect your husband from “those” women in the church? Sadly I have encountered this many times in the ministry. I actually point it out to my husband so he knows to be careful. He respects that from me and really works hard at not giving special attention. There was an incident once where I had to approach to woman about her flattery to my husband. We both worked with this woman which made it super hard to avoid her. Even after my husband & I both spoke directly to her, she still kept up. Finally, I prayed and told the Lord I couldn’t take it anymore and that he needed to remove her or move me.  Within a week, that lady was fired and left the area. For the first time as a Christian, I really learned firsthand how powerful prayer really is!

19.  Do you have a hard time sharing your burdens with your husband in fear that it will discourage him? Yes, especially if it has something to do with the ministry.

20.  What do you do to encourage yourself in the Lord? Read the Bible, listen to good Christian music

21.  What is your favorite Scripture? Eph. 3:20 “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

22.  Do you have a favorite song? Wonderful Grace of Jesus

23.  What is your biggest struggle in the ministry? Not having a close friend

24.  Do you have find that you are not able to have close lady friends in your church? Yes, I learned that the hard way. Now I try to just be friendly with all the ladies.

25.  When you are discouraged, do you feel like you can “show” that feeling to ladies in the church? Or, do you feel like you always have to portray the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife? I think it depends on what it is that I am discouraged about. If it has something to do with the ministry or my family, I work very hard not show it. I don’t feel like I always have to be the “perfect” happy Pastor’s wife but I also don’t want my discouragement to affect the church.

26.  Have you ever made a big mistake or offended someone, and if yes, how did you go about restoring that relationship? Oh, definitely yes! Of course I never offended anyone intentionally but the Lord always seems to speak to me if there is even the smallest thought that I’ve offended someone. I always go to that person and ask for their forgiveness.

27.  Do you have other lady ministry friends that you go to for counsel and “venting” purposes? I usually don’t go to anyone but if I really need to, I do have several wonderful pastor wives in the area that I would go to without hesitation.

28.  Other than praying, what is the most encouraging thing ladies in the church can do for you? Be faithful to church and be supportive to my husband

29.  What is your favorite way to serve the Lord in your church? I love to plan activities, fellowships, banquets etc. I often get stressed out doing them but in the long run, I enjoy it. I also love doing the office work.

30.  Do you currently have special Ladies Bible Study, meetings, or fellowships? Not on a regular basis. We do have a yearly Mother/Daughter banquet, ladies Christmas Tea, ladies planning meetings, and other fun activities.

31.  What ways to you encourage your ladies to get involved in the work of the church? Our ladies are super and really don’t need any encouragement. They are so willing to do anything that is ever needed.

32.  What is the most important thing you pray to pass down to your daughters?  I want them to keep the faith and never stop loving the Lord! 2Ti 4:7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

33.  In all of your business, how do you fit your personal time in with the Lord each day? Have my personal time with the Lord in the morning before I do anything else. It is always a struggle even though my children are grown and married. Sometimes I wait till my husband leaves for the office when I can be alone.

34.  Out of all that you have learned being in the full time ministry, what is the most important thing you have learned? That my husband and I are a team serving the Lord together. I am no better than any other church member.

35.   How would you describe the “perfect” Pastor’s wife? I don’t believe there is any such person!